


Knocking on Heaven's Door

by DramaticalHearts (kusokawaii)



Category: Devilman Crybaby - Fandom
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Canon Compliant Violence, Character Development, F/F, Fix-It, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Redemption, Religious Content, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Soul Sex, no time loops, this God is not Devilman’s God
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-08-20 06:35:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16550792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusokawaii/pseuds/DramaticalHearts
Summary: What would you do if you had nothing left and nothing left to lose? If there was only one thing you could gain, the only thing that ever mattered to you in the world?Would you throw away your pride, do the unthinkable, and take the ultimate risk?Would you work to change yourself, to earn the forgiveness you seek but don’t yet deserve?What are you willing to do for love?Choose wisely, Ryo.[Post-Crybaby afterlife AU/fix-it | Ryokira main ship, MikiMiko secondary]





	1. Vector to the Heavens

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a long time coming.
> 
> First off, to get this out of the way: I got the idea for this fic almost immediately after I finished watching Devilman Crybaby. As in, I literally could not sleep until I drafted the first few paragraphs.  
> Crybaby was my very first introduction to Devilman, and I purposely avoided other versions while writing the bulk of this, so that I could keep it purely based on my impression from Crybaby alone, due to my fondness of it. (Though there were a few things that I saw of them from the fandom at the time that I couldn't help but take a few cues from) Because of that, more than a few things in this story are not going to be consistent/compliant with the rest of the Devilman canon.  
> There is no time loop, Akira goes to Heaven, and this God is not evil.
> 
> …Still with me? Cool.
> 
> Consider this to be a bit of a thought experiment, a what-if story, or an AU. I know that the rest of the canon would not allow for a story like this.  
> I’ve wanted to write this kind of story - an afterlife AU - ever since I entered fandom (due to both my weird interest in afterlife stories since childhood, and the fact that my favorite characters are always dying), but I’ve never made one work until now.  
> Is this stupid? OOC? Way past any point of relevance in the fandom? Maybe. (Though I tried to keep it in-character, for the Crybaby versions of these characters) But, I love this story anyway — it's both personal, and one of my personal favorites I've written. And after its many months in writing, editing, and in beta-reader limbo, I decided I didn't want to keep this story to myself anymore.  
> So! I hope you will enjoy this story, if you decide to read it. I had a great time writing it!  
> (and it's the first multi-chapter fic that I've ever finished, so I'm a bit proud of it)
> 
> I do not know at the moment what the posting schedule for this will be, as I still need to finish editing parts of later chapters, but I will update as often as I'm ready to! This chapter's a short one - the rest of them will be much longer. I'll work on getting the second chapter posted as soon as I can!!
> 
> And finally!! I made a soundtrack as I was writing this! I'll link the songs along the way~  
> [This is the title song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mknLaFJZ4v4)  
> [The song this chapter's titled after](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEGMT46zFuk)  
> [And a song I recently added](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bosouX_d8Y) that fits the mood of the first scene better than I thought possible  
> ("but why that s-" [watch this](http://sp.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm27742278?ss_id=18f0e377-f9ce-49bd-909b-0f58fb3bb1bf&ss_pos=24), listen to what's playing during the manga's ending scene)
> 
> OH and special thanks to my beta-readers for this fic, [teleogenesis](http://archiveofourown.org/users/teleogenesis/pseuds/teleogenesis) and [coolangelsthesis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolangelsthesis/pseuds/coolangelsthesis)!!

 

_...Put my guns in the ground_

_I can't shoot them anymore_

_that cold black cloud is comin' around..._  
  


* * *

  
“Don’t leave me alone…”  
  
Ryo trembled, an unknown, unnamed _emotion_ coursing through him. He felt as though his chest might burst, but all that came forth were _tears,_ streaming from his eyes and falling.  
  
Just like Akira’s had.  
  
Akira lay before him now, stilled, his body split in two, his lower half lost to the ravaged Earth. His face remained, uneasy yet peaceful, his stare fixed and unseeing.  
  
Ryo had told him, long ago — he could not even remember how long, now — that the emotions of humans were irrational and only served to weaken. He had said that, because he didn’t understand emotion firsthand.  
  
And yet, here he was, the emotions building in his chest until he could take no more, allowing them at last to push him forward, toward Akira…  
  
His lips were cold, his mouth limp and lifeless.  
  
Akira was gone.  
  
Ryo pulled away, his trembling worsening, the building emotion in him feeling akin to torture as he stared at Akira. With another impulse, he reached for his body, and clutched it close to his chest.  
  
And upon that rock, holding Akira tight, Ryo threw his head back, letting out a loud cry, as tears streamed down his face, dripping onto Akira’s dark hair.  
  
Yet he knew none could hear him. The Earth was no more.  
  
No one was left.  
  
Except…  
  
“I give up!” he cried, throwing the last of his pride away, knowing exactly who would hear. “You win! I lost to you again! I… I was wrong!”  
  
He felt a shift. The Light drew nearer.  
  
“Cast me into Hell, destroy me, I don’t care anymore! Just… just let me see Akira again!”  
  
He felt another shift. A different one. A distantly familiar one. Ryo thought at first that he was imagining it.  
  
He opened his eyes, and found a brilliant sphere of light above him. He stood at last on trembling legs, blinked once, then took a chance.  
  
In a flash, he flew upward into it, still holding Akira’s body close.  


* * *

  
God was just the same as he remembered.  
  
Though, He seemed to regard him a little less coldly, now. Perhaps that was Ryo’s imagination, or wishful thinking.  
  
After he had entered the sphere of light, he found himself in a bright, pearl white rotunda, facing God and God alone. It was a familiar place — the very spot where God and His Heavenly Council had decided to cast him down to Earth for his rebellion. Even now, the memory stung, even though the space was curiously absent of any other angel.  
  
Despite that, a pervasive sense of peace and enveloping warmth filled the space, the ambient light a force of its own. Upon feeling it, Ryo let out a sigh of relief on impulse, the Light itself soothing his nerves and quelling his tears. With it, Ryo remembered something his mind long ago forgot, but his soul had quietly cried out for — the wordless longing he felt, that drew him toward pure white spaces and to adorn himself in the same color. He realized that he had missed this. A part of Ryo missed the warm, holy Light that imbued Heaven, that swelled around every angel in its comforting, reaffirming nature. Another part of Ryo — his prideful part — despised that, but conceded that anyone would miss this feeling if they had known it, blissful as it was, unlike anything that could be felt on Earth. The other angels never had to doubt whether this Light would be there for them, this Light of God’s; they could rely upon it always, as their comfort and strength.  
  
Ryo could not say the same. He had been pushed away from this Light, and forced to live just outside of it, toiling as humans do.  
  
And the One Who had cast him away from this Light, stood before him now, observing Ryo silently.  
  
Ryo let out a mirthless, wan smile, the weight of his regained memories paining him. “You really do hate me, don’t You?”  
  
No response.  
  
“You don’t have to answer that. I already know,” Ryo said, resigned. “Just… tell me where Akira is. Has his soul been sent to Hell because... because of me?”  
  
_...Will you use him for your own gain again?_  
  
“No!” Ryo exclaimed without hesitation, his voice stronger than even he had expected. “I don’t… I don’t care about any of that anymore. I lost. I just…” His voice grew smaller. “...I don’t want to be alone anymore.”  
  
God took in the sight of him, how he unconsciously caressed the still form of Akira now and then, and smiled.  
  
_Someone grew to love you. That in itself is a miracle._  
  
It felt like a backhanded compliment to Ryo, but he no longer had the energy for insolence. Just admitting that to himself made more of his pride slip away.  
  
“...Were You responsible for that? Was that Akira’s purpose in life?”  
  
God looked him in the eyes. _What do_ you _think?_  
  
Ryo paused, then let out a sigh, his wan smile returning. “I really did lose. I never stood a chance against You, did I.”  
  
God paused, then spoke, His aura serene. _I never wanted to fight you. I wanted you to decide for yourself. To choose to return to the Light. That is the only way this war between us could truly end in peace._  
  
Ryo’s smile turned to a smirk. “Of course that wouldn’t have been written in the Bible. Would’ve made it too easy.”  
  
_Your pride would not have allowed it, either,_ God pointed out.  
  
Ryo sighed again. “Fine, You’re right about that, too. I told You, it doesn’t matter anymore. I can’t win against You. I have nothing left, so I’m giving up. Fair’s fair. You can punish me however you like. Just… all I ask **...** is to know where Akira is.”  
  
_You said you wanted to see him again._  
  
Ryo paused, then shrugged. “That was presumptuous. There’s no way You would grant that. I just… want to know what happened to his soul. That’s all.”  
  
_...Why don’t you see for yourself?_  
  
Ryo’s fair brows furrowed. “What do You mean? Does that mean… he’s here? In Heaven?” He dared not hope — hope never got him anywhere. But that didn’t keep his chest from fluttering.  
  
_Samael._  
  
A shiver ran through Ryo’s entire being. He smiled again. “You haven’t called me that in eons.”  
  
_Have you truly given up? Will you no longer oppose me? Will you serve alongside the other angels once again?_  
  
The last question gave Ryo pause. “I have given up, and hereby concede to You. Although, I am not yet ready to rejoin the ranks of the angels… I don’t know if they would have me, either. I… don’t really know what to do anymore.” The honesty dealt his pride a fatal blow. Not that he needed pride anymore, now. Better to put it out of its misery.  
  
_You know what will happen if you should oppose Me again?_  
  
“Yes. One-hundred-percent.”  
  
_From here on, I shall let you decide where your place here should be. If you want to serve by My side again, or remain with the humans. Or, you can choose to serve a sentence for the sins you have committed._  
  
“Remain with… _humans?_ ” Ryo parroted, emphasizing the plural. How many had actually made it to Heaven?  
  
_Yes. I will accept whatever you decide, as long as you vow to maintain peace._  
  
Ryo could hardly believe it. He had to confirm. “I can stay?”  
  
_You chose this. You chose to return and face Me, to humble yourself before Me. I expect you not to go back on your word, now that you know the consequences of doing so._  
  
“Fair enough,” Ryo sighed. He didn’t like it, but it wasn’t like he had anything left anymore, anyway. He turned, his lost memory of this place reappearing faintly, gradually in the back of his mind, directing his footsteps.  
  
_Samael._  
  
Ryo turned to face God once more.  
  
_Learn what love is. You have been away from the Divine for so long, you have forgotten love entirely, and denied its very existence. You cannot even recognize it. Learn what love is, and accept it. That is all I ask of you._  
  
Ryo didn’t know how to answer that. He asked a different question instead. “So… Akira is really here?”  
  
God smiled knowingly, then lowered His eyes.  
  
_...You may want to let go of that, now._  
  
God pointed toward Akira’s body, which was still clutched tightly in Ryo’s arms. Ryo looked downward, and let out a shuddering sigh. He didn’t want to let go.  
  
“...Fine,” he said, gently setting the corpse down. “I have one favor to ask.”  
  
_Yes?_  
  
“Put his body on that rock I- no,” he said, thinking better of it. “Place it where his home was.”  
  
God gave an affirmative nod. _I will._  
  
With that, Ryo turned. He took one, long look more at Akira’s body, engraving the sight of him into his memory, in case it was the last thing he ever saw.  
  
Then he moved forward, fixed his eyes straight ahead as he walked unhurried. He was prepared for this to be a trap — for Hell to open up before him and lock him away for eternity.  
  
But he moved forward anyway. Ryo — Satan, truly — had nothing left.  
  
And nothing left to lose, either.  


* * *

  
_Michael,_ God said, after Ryo had stepped away.  
  
In a flash, the archangel appeared before Him.  
  
_Watch him._  
  
“Yes, Lord,” Michael replied.  
  
He vanished the next moment, as quickly as he had appeared.


	2. Heaven's Gate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading this far~
> 
> A few things to note:
> 
> -ANGEL LORE TIME  
> Samael = Lucifer's name before his fall, his original God-given name  
> Lucifer = his name post-fall  
> Satan = an almost generic term, meaning 'adversary'  
> [More info](http://dramaticalhearts.tumblr.com/private/172230788848/tumblr_p6509jcqKd1qizuab) (from a book of angel lore that I own... yeah)  
> [I moved this from the end notes of chapter 1 because I didn't want it to trail along at the bottom of every chapter like toilet paper on a shoe :v]
> 
> -I started writing Archangel Michael in this story before I found out that he is actually a canon character in the Devilman universe -- imagine my excitement at seeing all the fanart of him, lol  
> So, he was based on biblical lore Michael -- I extrapolated and formed his personality from there on. (And took some cues from a few characters I'm fond of as well)  
> There's not a lot of him in this chapter, but trust me, there will be a lot more~ 
> 
> -[And this is the song this chapter's titled after.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwk1IA4IyNQ)  
> 

_  
...If there were any more left of me_  
_I'd give it to you_  
_And I'll tell you that I am fine_  
_But I'm a missile that's guided to you...  
_

* * *

  
Ryo continued onward, tracing his footsteps from his vague memory of this place, the Light seeping into him deeper as he went.  
  
_Might get a sunburn at this rate,_ he joked to himself.  
  
Just then, he sensed another presence.  
  
Why he thought he could hide from him, Ryo didn’t know.  
  
“Michael the Archangel,” he drawled into the empty space, “is that you?”  
  
As though slipping out from behind an unseen wall, Michael appeared, a look of deep displeasure on his face.  
  
“Ah, it is you,” Ryo said. “Long time no see. Are you here to bind me in chains again, or have you decided on a less kinky method?”  
  
“Silence, Satan,” Michael retorted, his facial expression unchanged.  
  
_No-nonsense as always._ “Relax. I’m not here to cause any trouble. Earth is destroyed, so there’s nothing left for me to gain.”  
  
“You could overthrow Heaven,” Michael countered, not giving an inch. His hand lingered at his side, ready to draw his sword any moment.  
  
“Not interested. God won, I’m done. Watch me or punish me, I don’t really care.”  
  
Michael eased somewhat. “You _have_ changed,” he said, though his voice had a tinge of doubt. “That aside, surely you did not expect that you would not be watched?”  
  
“No,” Ryo sighed. “I expected no less. Actually, I didn’t think I’d get this far. I thought for sure you would have stomped on my neck and dragged me down to Hell personally by now. I’ve certainly done enough to warrant that.”  
  
Michael glared at him. “I have to concur with that. But that is not what I was sent here to do. I was sent here to monitor your actions, and act when necessary.”  
  
“Fine,” Ryo conceded. “Could you at least conceal yourself again?”  
  
“As you wish,” Michael said with reluctance, and slipped away once more, vanishing from sight.  
  
Ryo let out a sigh. At least he could _pretend_ he was alone now.  
  
He focused, trying to collect his slowly returning memories — if they were correct, he wasn’t far from the section of Heaven where human souls could reside. Given God’s directive — and Michael’s lenience — Ryo assumed that he would be allowed to enter it.  
  
Only one way to find out.  
  
Arriving there, he reached out a hand toward the divider that marked and separated the realms. The whiteness was cool to the touch, passed between his fingers like thick mist.  
  
So far, so good.  
  
He looked down at himself, realizing that his current appearance would likely cause a stir among any humans who would — _could,_ he corrected himself — be around. He closed his eyes, and in a flash his appearance changed — he looked like the human version of himself again. Thinking better of it — many would likely recognize his face from that fateful television broadcast — he altered his appearance again, lengthening his hair, reducing the youthful roundness his teenaged face had to more mature contours. He altered his clothing as well — from a stark white over-sized dress shirt and baggy pants, to an off-white knit sweater and khaki slim-fit slacks. Non-threatening.  
  
He took a deep breath, and stared straight ahead. He stepped into the wall, the mist enveloping him completely.  
  
When he reached the other side, he wasn’t sure what to expect.  
  
He certainly didn’t expect _this.  
  
_The sight before him reminded him of the scramble crossing in Shibuya at rush hour. No vehicles, just _people._ The din of _thousands_ of voices, in countless separate conversations at once, was almost deafening to Ryo’s ears. He could also hear instrumental music coming from… somewhere. Topping it off were the sounds of animals — some domestic dogs and cats, but also various birds twittering merrily as they flew from tree to enormous tree, of the ones that had been planted in the vast plaza. Going from the utter silence of a dead Earth to _this_ was jarring.  
  
He cast his gaze about, and found a nearby bench that was miraculously unoccupied. He sat down to get his bearings, adjusting his senses to the radically different environment he had found himself in.  
  
It was bright, for one. Blindingly so at first, but once his eyes adjusted, it was akin to midday on Earth, the sky above made of soft, pure white light. The air was fresh, softly fragrant, and pleasantly warm, like that of a spring day.  
  
The space before him was like that of a town square, paved with light grey cobblestone and lined with elegant houses and buildings, their every suitable surface covered in various lush plants. The streets bore trees, shrubs, flowers and some flower gardens, and artful statues of people, animals, and abstract sculptures.  
  
This wasn’t all there was to this place, either — at the furthest reaches of his vision, he could see the edges of the ‘town’, past them lay a wide vista of forests and mountains. He got the feeling that this square was merely the tip of the iceberg, as it were.  
  
It was simply beautiful, in every sense of the word. Even Ryo could find no flaw in it.  
  
And the humans?  
  
They were _everywhere.  
  
_Walking in pairs or groups, casual and unhurried, laughing and carrying on conversations like it was just a normal day on Earth. There were no signs of conflict or strife, no violence or raised voices — no negativity whatsoever. No vices that he could see, either.  
  
To any human seeing it for the first time, despite its apparent lack of halos, harps, and puffy white clouds, there would be no mistaking it — this was Heaven. Earth could never be this _perfect.  
  
_This place was the very definition of _peace.  
  
__It’s almost not human,_ Ryo thought to himself. _Can humans really be capable of keeping this kind of peace? Is it forced? Or, just implied?  
  
__Well,_ he thought, standing up with a smirk, _there’s one way to find out...  
  
__‘...I will accept whatever you decide, as long as you vow to maintain peace.’  
  
_Ryo sighed, his lurking thoughts of mischief scurrying away. _I’ve tested humanity enough, I suppose…  
  
_One question lingered, though — how was he going to find Akira? Ryo had never expected _this_ many people would make it into God’s Kingdom. _How do humans find each other here?  
  
__Maybe he would be near the entrance. It hasn’t been that long since he died… right?  
  
_Using the — likely outdated — map in his mind, Ryo sought out the entrance that humans used to enter Heaven. The doorway that he himself had used was more of a backdoor that led to the higher realms of God and the angels. Many people walked by him and paid him no mind — his disguise was working.  
  
He was nearly there when he heard familiar voices.  
  
Spotting faces he dimly recognized, he stopped and observed.  
  
A sizable crowd had gathered, their voices high and full of emotion. They seemed to be encircling someone - not in a threatening manner, but one of welcome.  
  
Ryo moved closer to try to get a better look. Then, at last he saw, in the middle of the throng of humans — a tuft of dark hair, a hint of darkened skin.  
  
The fluttering in Ryo’s chest paused, then accelerated palpably as he caught a glimpse of the man’s eyes.  
  
It was him.  
  
Akira Fudo had been let into Heaven.  
  
His appearance stunned Ryo for more reasons than one — not only was he let into Heaven despite his prior demonic possession, he still looked quite a lot like how he had looked after it. Ryo had assumed that if he saw Akira, he would again be the scrawny boy he had picked up from the pier. He recalled that humans also could change their physical appearances however they liked in Heaven — the fact that Akira _liked_ the changes to his body that came as a result of Ryo’s actions made Ryo feel… something.  
  
He looked closer at the humans who surrounded him. Most of them were his family — his mother, but notably not his father — and his friends, but there were even people he didn’t recognize at all. All of them congratulated, thanked and praised him. He saw that girl — Miki Makimura, he remembered — reach up to hug Akira.  
  
Bitterness suddenly spreading across his tongue, Ryo turned away. He couldn’t get Akira’s attention like this, not now. There was a time where he could force his way in, guns blazing, daring anyone to come between him and Akira. Even now he was tempted.  
  
But he had not a single weapon on him any longer, and he knew if he dared try anything of the sort, he’d be kicked out of Heaven faster than he had been the first time — back to utter loneliness again.  
  
_I’ll find him again,_ Ryo decided, _when there are less people around him.  
  
_He didn’t know when that would be, but he would figure that out later. He would try to keep a low profile until then.  
  
Or so he thought.  
  
As he stepped away, Ryo heard a small sound coming from somewhere. Small but insistent.  
  
It came closer, and Ryo could just make it out.  
  
_Meeeew, meeeew.  
  
_He looked over his shoulder, and saw a small black cat padding up to him. It ran faster toward him once it had seen his face.  
  
“What the- go away,” Ryo said, turning to walk away again, but the cat reached him. Ryo stopped in his tracks — even an infraction against an animal might get him kicked out, he figured.  
  
He looked down at the cat, who was now winding around his legs with enthusiasm. Ryo pouted. _Michael must be laughing at me right now.  
  
_He squinted, wondering why this cat came near _him,_ of all people. It didn’t look like Miki’s cat, either.  
  
_Wait…  
  
_He reached back into his memories, of the tiny kitten that Akira had tried to save when they were children.  
  
_“It’s going to die. Let me kill it.”  
  
__“No!”  
  
_The cat’s mewing grew noticeably louder, making onlookers take notice, as though it was trying to say, _look at me! I’m alive! I’m alive!  
  
_For a brief moment Ryo wished he had his box cutter handy again, before he smothered the thought. Old habits die hard.  
  
“Hey, what’re you doing over here? Who’s that?”  
  
The soft, friendly voice made Ryo freeze in place.  
  
The owner of the voice stepped closer, and Ryo didn’t move an inch. His chest felt as though it had a panicked bird trapped inside.  
  
The eyes that met his were warm and brown, bright and kind; the dark lines that indicated his more-than-human status gone. That was the only difference. They blinked once. Twice.  
  
“Ryo?”  
  
Ryo looked up, taking in the sight of Akira fully. Whole, healthy, alive, Akira.  
  
“...Akira,” he said softly.  
  
Before he could stop himself, he quickly moved forward to wrap his arms around Akira, nearly knocking him off his feet. Akira, stunned and attempting to regain his balance, let him, raising his arms to embrace Ryo in return on impulse.  
  
Ryo felt a stinging sensation at his eyes again, but before his first tear fell, he felt Akira’s breath hitch. He heard soft gasps from the passersby around them, as Akira began to sob, likely for the first time since he had entered Heaven.  
  
Akira buried his face in Ryo’s shirt, clutched at his back. Ryo held him tighter.  
  
“Why… are you here…” he muttered between sobs.  
  
Ryo didn’t have an answer.  
  
“Akira,” another voice said. Ryo recognized it. It was Akira’s mother. “Who is this?”  
  
Akira lifted his head from Ryo’s shoulder. “It’s… Ryo…”  
  
His mother gasped. “Ryo? Ryo Asuka?”  
  
Akira pulled back, Ryo reluctantly letting go. When he looked to Akira’s mother, she had a smile on her face.  
  
“It’s been so long! Come here,” she said, and moved to hug him as well, Ryo shocked stiff. She seemed to have no memory of being used by the demon that had possessed her husband. It was for the best. “You’re so handsome now! Where have you been?”  
  
“...Where haven’t I been?” he joked halfheartedly.  
  
She pulled away smiling. Ryo forced a smile in return. He looked back to Akira, who had picked up the black cat that had plagued him, holding it as it purred softly. His tears had slowed somewhat, though he let out a sniffle now and then.  
  
Ryo never thought that he’d be so happy to see those tears again.  
  
“Are you okay? You look like you’re about to cry too,” Akira’s mother said with a soft laugh, reaching out to brush Ryo’s hair aside with a tender touch. Him and Akira had been so close as children, Akira’s mother often treated him like he was her own son. Ryo never quite knew how to respond to it.  
  
“Hey, who’s that?” someone else called, running toward them fast.  
  
Ryo’s eyes narrowed.  
  
It was Miki.  
  
For her part, as she reached them, Miki narrowed her eyes too, giving him a scrutinizing look.  
  
“...Who is this?”  
  
“It’s Ryo,” Akira’s mother answered first, still smiling.  
  
Miki’s brows drew together. “Ryo…?” she said, he voice laced with suspicion.  
  
Ryo quickly turned to Akira, grabbing his arm and tugging him away a short distance. “Akira, I need to talk to you. Alone.”  
  
Akira frowned, hesitating. “I… I can’t, Ryo. I don’t know what you have planned, but I’m not going with you. I haven’t forgotten what you did.”  
  
Ryo shook his head. “It’s not like that, I just want to talk! Something happened and I need to-”  
  
“Akira, what’s going on?” Miki called.  
  
Ryo let go of Akira’s arm. He leaned in to whisper in Akira’s ear. “Meet me somewhere later.”  
  
Akira looked up at him, his eyes wary. “Where?” he mouthed.  
  
Ryo looked around, scanning the nearby buildings. His eyes landed on an enormous library. He pointed to it, Akira’s eyes following. Akira gave a hesitant nod.  
  
“I’ll be waiting,” Ryo said curtly, before turning and walking away, disappearing into the mingling crowd.

* * *

   
Akira stared after him, and let out a sigh. Miki caught up to him.  
  
“Hey, you okay? Where’d Ryo go?”  
  
“He had to go. I’ll meet up with him later,” Akira replied.  
  
Miki frowned in concern. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”  
  
“He probably won’t leave me alone until I do, so I might as well get it over with,” Akira said with a shrug, not meeting her eyes.  
  
Miki put a hand on his arm. “You can’t let Ryo string you along like this anymore, Akira. I don’t know why he’s here, or why he looks like _that,_ but he can’t be up to anything good.”  
  
Akira looked down with a soft sigh, a conflicted expression on his face.  
  
“Listen… I know you care about Ryo. But Ryo needs to learn to care about _you,_ too. What he did was unacceptable, and you need to tell him that. And, if he isn’t willing to change, or tries to drag you into his schemes again… you need to stay away from him.”  
  
Akira scuffed his shoes awkwardly.  
  
“Akira,” Miki said, her voice lightly scolding. Akira looked up at her.  
  
“Ryo helped destroy Earth. Don’t let him destroy this place, too. Or you,” she said, touching his cheek gently with a delicate smile.  
  
Akira reached up to touch her hand, their eyes meeting. “I won’t. I promise you.”  
  
Miki smiled wider. Akira put down the cat he’d been holding, and hugged her tight.  
  
“I won’t fail this time. I’ll protect you, Miki.”  
  
Miki laughed lightly. “Well, we don’t know if it’s as serious as all that yet. I don’t know if there’s anything worse he can do than destroying Earth… but I bet if there were, he would come up with it.”  
  
Akira sighed wearily.  
  
“But!” she said, pulling back. “That’s why you have to meet with him, right?”  
  
Akira looked at her. “So, I should go?”  
  
“Mm. You said so yourself, right? He won’t leave you alone until you do. I really don’t doubt that, honestly. So meet him, see what he wants, and take it from there. I believe in you, Akira,” she smiled. “But don’t shoulder this alone this time, okay? I’m here for you, and so is everyone else. I know you’re strong, but burdens are easier to carry if they’re shared, right?”  
  
Akira smiled. “You’re right. Thank you, Miki.”  
  
“If you need to talk, you can always come to me, at least. I’m not sure how much the others should know, honestly…”  
  
“You’ve got a point there…” Akira said. Most of his family members and friends here had died before Ryo’s schemes were brought fully to light. He certainly didn’t have the heart to tell his mother what his best friend since childhood had done… not yet.  
  
“Well, you’re not going yet, right?” Miki said, her disposition sunny. “Come back with us for a while.”  
  
Akira smiled, wiping his tears away. “Yeah, I’m coming.”  
  
Miki walked away, the small black cat following her. Akira stood still for a moment, taking a lingering look at the library, before he set off to rejoin his family.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to imagine Ryo's appearance now as any canon Ryo look you want -- I didn't have a specific one in mind as I was writing this tbh, but I like the idea of a mix between his OG look and his OVA look... minus the sideburns. Too pointy. They might hurt someone, lol


	3. I Hope You’re Praying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far <3  
> This chapter may help answer some questions you might have!
> 
> -points to the 'angst' tag-  
> Nearly forgot to add that. Oops.
> 
> [The title song for this chapter.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4ApeHmFpiE) There's one hyperlinked near the end too, which I'll likely do sometimes for this fic. You don't _have_ to listen to them, by the way - it's just a little bonus.  
> (I listened to a lot of music while writing this fic)

_  
...'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell  
I had to learn how to fight for myself  
And we both know all the truth I could tell_ _...  
  
_

* * *

  
Ryo stalked off into the crowd quickly, not paying any mind to Akira and Miki’s reactions. He wasn’t going to compete for Akira’s attention. Letting Akira come to him seemed like the most _peaceful_ way to get what he wanted.  
  
He reached the library, stared up at its large double doors. Pretty much how he remembered it. He pushed both of them open, entering the library less-than-quietly.  
  
It was a beautiful library, he had to admit. Spacious, with large windows that let plenty of light in, shelves neatly lined with books of all kinds, and various places to sit to read them. It was a bookworm’s dream.  
  
He took a table located near the entrance, and sat down to wait for Akira. A half hour later, a restless Ryo stalked around the library, picking out a stack of books to read while he waited.  
  
Hours later, he had read them all.  
  
Ryo sighed, as the library dimmed. Akira wasn’t coming tonight.  
  
He felt frustrated, but ultimately, he was fine with waiting — he could wait here forever if need be. There was just one problem — angels need sustenance, at least a little. On Earth, Ryo used nutritional supplements, but in Heaven the diet of the angels consisted entirely of small amounts of manna, which is made available to all angels via the Tree of Life. Ryo hadn’t thought to secure any, so he felt himself weakening. He wouldn’t die, he knew, but sluggishness was nothing he wanted.  
  
He nodded off, slipping into a dreamless sleep.  
  
The next moment he awoke, he opened his eyes, and found a small pile beside him. He blinked, clearing his eyes. “...Manna?”  
  
He looked around, and saw no one. He grimaced.  
  
“Michael.”  
  
Appearing beside him, Michael looked smug. “Yes?”  
  
Ryo reluctantly reached for the manna. “This is uncharacteristically kind of you.”  
  
“I wasn’t tasked to be cruel to you, without warrant,” Michael replied. “Just to monitor you, while you do whatever it is you plan on doing. Starving you wouldn’t be advantageous to either of us, so since I noticed that you hadn’t secured a supply for yourself, I brought extra manna for you.”  
  
Ryo munched the manna as he listened to Michael speak. It tasted better than Calorie Buddy, he had to admit. “Well… thanks. I guess.”  
  
Michael nodded. “Just doing what I was tasked to do.”  
  
They fell into silence, Ryo eating more manna and Michael taking a bite or two himself.  
  
Michael broke the silence. “Do you really think Akira will come to you?”  
  
“He’ll come,” Ryo replied.  
  
“What if he doesn’t?”  
  
_“He’ll come,”_ Ryo repeated.  
  
Michael sighed. “Is he a dog to you?”  
  
Ryo nearly choked. “What did you say?!”  
  
Michael looked back at him, unflinching. “A dog. A dog unquestioningly obeys its owner, whether the owner is a saint or a sinner, a villain or a hero. It doesn’t know any better, doesn’t question its owner’s motives, it does as its commanded. The dog is man’s best friend because of that unquestioning trust.” Michael narrowed his eyes. “Is that what Akira is to you?”  
  
Ryo glared back at him. “No.”  
  
“No?”  
  
Ryo’s gaze faltered, and he looked away. “...Not entirely.”  
  
“Mmhm,” Michael said. “Well, be warned: If abused enough, even a dog can lose its trust, and bite back.”  
  
“Duly noted,” Ryo replied, his patience running out. “I’m done with the manna and you got to lecture me. Can you go back to pretending to not be here again?”  
  
“Fine. Don’t say I did not warn you,” Michael said, before slipping away into some nth dimension.  
  
Ryo sighed. Michael was still around, yes, but at least he didn’t have to make conversation with him now. Most of the time he tried to keep the thought of him watching him pushed to the very back of his mind.  
  
Some of his irritation faded, which he now realized was due in part to hunger. The remainder, due to Akira’s tardiness, lingered, and he continued keeping his vigil, reading books and watching as visitors came and went, giving him curious looks now and then.  
  
(Ryo usually responded with glares, which seemed to unnerve the patrons enough to stop looking)  
  
He was prepared to wait longer, or even leave to find Akira again to refresh his memory. He could do this forever, really. Not that he wanted to. The fact that Akira didn’t come as soon as he could irritated Ryo, but it also brought up a feeling that he couldn’t name, which frustrated him more.  
  
He needed to talk to Akira _now.  
  
_Just when Ryo decided he would leave the library — roughly a day into his vigil, he estimated — the doors opened. He looked up, expecting it to be yet another stranger.  
  
Something in his chest leapt.  
  
It was Akira.  
  
Unlike that moment on the pier, his face didn’t break into a smile when he saw him — instead, his expression was solemn, his steps unhurried as he approached the table.  
  
Ryo waited for him to walk closer to him, perhaps even hug him, like he had all those times before — he did not, opting to pull out a chair on the opposite side of the table, and sit down to face him.  
  
Akira didn’t say anything at first. Ryo smiled.  
  
“Akira,” he began. “You came.”  
  
“Yeah. I figured you’d come find me again if I didn’t.”  
  
“You’re not wrong about that,” Ryo admitted. “What took you so long?”  
  
Akira hesitated. “...I needed to think. And… I asked God about what I should do.”  
  
Ryo kept his expression composed, folded his hands in front of him. “What did He say?”  
  
“He gave me this,” he reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small medallion. “It’s a Saint Michael medal. He said it would make it easier for Michael the archangel to protect me if you do anything to harm me. He’s the angel who can control you, right?”  
  
Ryo went slack-jawed, staring at the medal in disbelief. He was _positive_ that he could hear Michael laughing now. “...That’s right. Why, though? Don’t you trust me?”  
  
Akira gulped, then looked him in the eye as he slipped the medal back into his pocket. “Why should I?”  
  
Ryo had said it in jest, but to that he had no response. “...I suppose that’s understandable.”  
  
“Why did you call me here?” Akira said, clearly wanting to get to the point.  
  
Ryo stared at him blankly. “I want to ask you some questions.”  
  
Akira paused, thinking. “Can I ask you some, first?”  
  
“...Sure.”  
  
“Why do you look like that?”  
  
Ryo sighed. He knew this would come up. “I couldn’t show myself in the human realm in my true form without causing a fuss, and the form I took on Earth would be too recognizable, so I settled for a cross between the two.”  
  
“Yeah… I guess that makes sense,” Akira said. He dithered for a moment. “Why… are you here at all?”  
  
Ryo held back an impulse, and grimaced. “I’m not sure what you mean.”  
  
Akira leaned in, whispered conspiratorially. “Why would God allow Satan back into Heaven?”  
  
_A fair question,_ Ryo admitted to himself, as Akira leaned back and looked around discreetly to make sure no one else had heard. He decided to tell the truth. His pride was dead, anyway. “Because I conceded to God. I have nothing left to fight back with, so I admitted defeat. I made a request, and He granted it, with conditions. And so I’m here.”  
  
Akira looked nervous. “What was the request?”  
  
Ryo looked him straight in his eyes. “To see you again.”  
  
Akira blinked repeatedly, seemingly at a loss for words. “Why?”  
  
Ryo found himself at a loss as well. How could he describe the feelings that led him here? He couldn’t. That’s what he wanted to talk to Akira about. No one knew emotion better than Akira. He could explain it to him.  
  
“...I told you already. I have questions for you,” he said instead.  
  
“What?” Akira said, his patience slipping.  
  
Ryo thought. _Might as well start with the easy ones._ “How did you make it to Heaven? I was under the impression that possession led to one’s soul being dragged to the depths of Hell by that demon; I was uncertain about the fate of devilmen, however.”  
  
Akira frowned. “You could’ve let me in on that. But… it was weird. As everything was ending, I guess God had a lot on His hands, and He wanted to salvage what good was left of humanity, so He tried to save as many lost human souls as possible, as long as they were willing to go to God. He sent His son to help.”  
  
_“Jesus Christ,”_ Ryo smirked.  
  
“Yeah,” Akira nodded, not catching Ryo’s double-meaning. “Once all the other souls were accounted for, Christ found the devilmen, and since we had overcome our demons and retained our humanity, and fought to protect humanity, He decided to extract the demons from us, destroy them, and let us enter Heaven if we chose to.”  
  
_Extraction, purification, and destruction. That was the fate of Amon, huh._ Not that Ryo cared. Amon was nothing more than a tool to him, a means to a justifiable end, a way to ensure Akira’s survival amidst the apocalypse. He couldn’t even do _that_ right, in the end. He was nothing to him now. “Did all the devilmen take Christ up on His offer?”  
  
“Most of them did. Koda didn’t, though…” Akira sniffled, his eyes already starting to well. “He was already too far gone… he still sided with the demons. He didn’t think he would ever be accepted by humans again… I don’t know where he is now. I met his friend here, but I couldn’t tell him…” his words got lost as he choked up, his tears flowing freely.  
  
Ryo sighed softly. “It couldn’t be helped. That was his choice to make. If he wants to come here, he will. If I was let into Heaven, then so can he.”  
  
Akira sniffed, wiping his tears. “Yeah, you’re right. I guess that could happen with my Dad, too… I couldn’t find him at all, but my Mom was here when I got here.”  
  
“Well, it’s as I said: Demonic possession damns a soul. He may not ever come back. You may never see him again.”  
  
Akira only cried more. Ryo sighed. Damn his bluntness.  
  
“That’s not a one-hundred-percent certainty, though,” Ryo added, wanting to veer from this topic of conversation. “You could only save so many, Akira. There was nothing more you could’ve done for your father.”  
  
Akira sniffed, drying his tears for the second time. “I guess…”  
  
“So what happened then?” Ryo pressed.  
  
Akira collected himself. “Well, I was offered the chance to go to Heaven first, because of what I did for humanity and the devilmen. I said yes because I wanted to see my family…”  
  
“I see. What do you plan on doing from now on?”  
  
Akira’s expression turned quizzical. “Spending time with my family and friends who died?”  
  
“Huh…”  
  
Akira took a breath, appearing to be mustering up courage. “What do you want from me, Ryo?” he exclaimed. “Don’t you even care about what you’ve done? About the horrible deaths people died because of you? Are you even sorry?!”  
  
Ryo gaped at him for a second, before he got his jaw to work. “...They were casualties, nothing more. It wasn’t personal.”  
  
Akira stood up, reached across the table and grabbed Ryo by his shirt with both hands. “That’s a lie! You called me out on television! My family and friends were killed because of you!”  
  
“...It doesn’t matter anymore, does it? They made it to Heaven, you can see them again. They’re not dead and they’re not suffering.”  
  
_Slap.  
  
_Akira sat back down, Ryo staring at him with wide eyes, cupping his cheek with his hand, more in shock than pain. For some reason, the rest of the library’s patrons still hadn’t taken notice.  
  
“...You just don’t get it, do you? You think logic is supposed to be comforting. Do you even _have_ any feelings?!”  
  
“Akira…” Whatever Ryo was going to say after that died in his mouth. Did he have feelings? He didn’t know. He had _something._ That’s what he wanted to talk to Akira about.  
  
“I believed in you, Ryo. I trusted you. And you betrayed me! You really expect me to forgive you just like that?” He affected a lilting voice. _“‘Oh I forgive you, Ryo! I’ll go along with whatever you say and do whatever you want! Hey, let’s fight God next, because we haven’t fucked up reality enough!’”  
  
_Akira’s last words echoed in the odd stillness that seemed to surround them now.  
  
“...Okay, first of all, I didn’t think that word could be said here. I figured it would come out as ‘figged’ or something. A lot _has_ changed.”  
  
_“Ryo.”  
  
_“Second of all, everything I did was to protect you. Those people were going to die anyway. By that point, it was inevitable.”  
  
“You didn’t have to make it worse! Everyone I cared about… suffered so much,” Akira’s voice cracked, his tears starting to run again. “Fine, I know it doesn’t matter, that it won’t change the past or make everything okay, but I want to hear an apology for what you did. I… I deserve that much. Don’t lie to me, either. I… I want you to mean it. To realize what you did to me and the people I care about.”  
  
“I… uh,” Ryo began, then fell silent.  
  
Akira pushed back his chair and stood up. “Until I hear that, I’m not doing anything you say.”  
  
He pushed the chair back into place, and stalked off toward the door.  
  
“Wait, Akira! This is ridiculous!”  
  
Akira turned back to face him, as he reached the door. His eyes were still wet. “...God may have forgiven you, but I haven’t. You really are a monster.”  
  
With that, Akira left, the sound of his quickly retreating footfalls filling the silence.  
  
Ryo stared at the door in disbelief. He felt himself trembling again.  
  
“Gh-!” There it was — that pain-yet-not-pain, in his chest. He clutched it, feeling tears falling from his eyes again. His forehead met the table with a _thunk_ as he was overcome, shutting his eyes.  
  
“Well, that didn’t go well at all.”  
  
“...Shut up,” Ryo told Michael without lifting his head.  
  
“If it’s of any comfort to you, Akira is crying as well, right now.”  
  
Ryo struggled to lift his head to look at him. “He is?”  
  
“Your senses really have dulled in your absence,” Michael remarked. “He started crying again as soon as he left. He said you have no feelings, but at the same time, he knew what he said would hurt you. Humans can be cruel.”  
  
“Can I see?”  
  
“I’m not a magic mirror, Lucifer.”  
  
“ _I know that,_ I mean, can you take me to him?”  
  
“That would not be wise.”  
  
Ryo sighed heavily and looked back down, still clutching at his chest.  
  
“...Why didn’t anyone notice us?”  
  
“I put up a sound-cancelling barrier between you two and the rest of the library just before your conflict began,” Michael replied.  
  
“Thanks…” Ryo muttered.  
  
“What were the conditions God gave you?” Michael asked, changing the subject.  
  
“To maintain peace, and… to learn what love is.”  
  
Michael’s brows raised slightly, then he stared off in thought. “Love, huh…”  
  
“Yes. I was hoping that Akira could explain it to me. I think it has something to do with the way I’ve been feeling, but I’m not sure.”  
  
“...Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. There is no love without God.”  
  
“...You dare quote the Bible at me?”  
  
“I am merely summarizing your dilemma. You have been so far removed from God’s light and love that you cannot even recognize love, even in yourself.”  
  
“...God said the same thing…”  
  
“Mmhm.”  
  
Ryo looked up at Michael. “Well what can I do about it?”  
  
“You could wait — the Light should be having an effect on you by now, more so as time goes on. This place is drenched in God’s love, embedded into its very being — it would be difficult for it not to sink in. It may take longer to do so in your case, though. You are the impatient type, correct?”  
  
Ryo glared at him.  
  
“I’ll take that as a yes. Then… thoughtful introspection may help speed the process. Give yourself time to think. To feel. To allow yourself _to_ feel, and pay attention to those feelings.”  
  
“What about Akira? How can I get him back?”  
  
“In his case, you will have to learn something else. Empathy.”  
  
“Empathy?” Ryo parroted, the word feeling strange on his tongue.  
  
“To feel sympathy and the ability to understand other people’s feelings. Akira is an expert at it. You would get a failing grade.”  
  
Ryo frowned at him.  
  
“Anyway, your problem with him is that you do not understand why he would still be upset over your actions that led to the deaths of the people he cared about. Empathy would bridge that gap.”  
  
“Well how the he-”  
  
Michael glared.  
  
“... _heck,_ would I do that?”  
  
“Hmm,” Michael mused for a moment. “I think it may go hand in hand with learning about emotions, and time. Empathy is a learned skill for humans as well, so it’s not impossible.”  
  
Ryo rolled his head back and sighed. “This doesn’t sound much faster.”  
  
“Well, if you want Akira to listen to you, there’s no other way. He’s a human — you need to connect with him in a human way. And that means understanding his emotions.”  
  
Ryo peered at Michael. “Don’t you have a problem with this? If it turns out that I love a human?”  
  
“I have no problem with it at all,” Michael replied without hesitation. “It is God’s will, the way He intended this War to end. For you to find a reason to return to Him.”  
  
“Even if it’s a love between two males?” Ryo raised an eyebrow.  
  
Michael laughed softly. “You _have_ been away for a long time. God is love, and love is love. Being what you are, you should realize that a human concept like _gender_ doesn’t matter, at least not here.”  
  
“Fine. I just find it hard to believe that you’re _this_ willing to help me, given our past, and everything I’ve done. I keep thinking you’re looking for any excuse to murder me,” Ryo smirked.  
  
“It wouldn’t be murder. It would be righteous vengeance,” Michael’s eyes flashed dangerously as he gave a smirk of his own. “But alas,” he continued, his facial expression slipping back into a benign one alarmingly fast, “I’ve spoken with God about it, and He’s told me to encourage you in your peaceful endeavors, and to assist you with your goals. I still have full clearance to punish you to protect Heaven, though.” Michael’s eyes met Ryo’s in a look of warning. “So if you want to succeed in these supposed goals of yours, don’t try me.”  
  
Ryo was unruffled. “God trusts you a lot, doesn’t He~?” he remarked, a teasing edge to his voice. “Allowing you to act on your own like that.”  
  
Michael narrowed his eyes. “God has placed _immense_ trust in me, the same trust He used to place in you. You will _never_ get that back, no matter what you do. You threw it away when you defied God.”  
  
“Yeah yeah, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up, I got it,” Ryo said, waving him off. “I’m glad He made you His special boy. You definitely are suited for it.” He couldn’t keep the bitter note out of his voice.  
  
Michael frowned at him. “...God loves all of His angels. Even you. He gave you a second chance; don’t waste it.”  
  
“Got it, chief,” Ryo sighed irritably. He fell silent, Michael looking off in contemplation.  
  
_Think? Pay attention to my feelings? I don’t even know where to begin. There’s too much.  
  
_Michael looked to him again. “Well, where would you like to start first?”  
  
Ryo’s eyes fell on the stray books on the table, and he had an idea.  
  
“...How about research? We’re already in a library. There have to be some books here that can provide me with some insight,” he said, rising from his chair.  
  
“Ah, that’s what you always did in life, wasn’t it?” Michael said with a relieved smile. “In school and in your professorship. Looking to the past research of others to answer any questions you had, about anything.”  
  
“Are you going to help me find books or not?” Ryo drawled, stalking off toward the bookshelves.  
  
Michael sighed. “At least put away the ones you have here…”  
  
After Michael had put the books that Ryo had previously collected on his table back in their rightful places, he assisted Ryo in selecting books that would help him learn more about human emotion and empathy.  
  
When all was said and done, and they each had a towering stack of books in their arms, Michael announced, with a buoyant spring in his step, despite his stack being taller than Ryo’s own, “This should do it.”  
  
“You think?” Ryo groused under his breath, side-eying the pile of books in Michael’s arms that would have likely tumbled to the floor by now if it weren’t for his careful footsteps.  
  
They brought the books back to Ryo’s selected table, and set them down — Michael set down his pile gently, while Ryo’s stack hit the table with a heavy _whump.  
  
_“A little more respect, please,” Michael sniffed.  
  
“Uh huh,” Ryo sat down promptly. “Guess I’ll start from the top?” he said, reaching for the first book in his stack.  
  
“Very well,” Michael nodded, sitting down himself.  
  
As he began to read, Ryo was relieved to hear Michael keep silent. It became curious, though, and when Ryo looked up — in the middle of his second book — he saw Michael sitting cross-legged, looking upward with his eyes closed, appearing totally focused on…   
  
“...What are you doing?” Ryo asked.  
  
Michael instantly snapped out of his reverie, peering down at Ryo. He blinked for a brief moment, then replied. “...Prayerful meditation. One must always find time to maintain a sacred connection with the Divine.”  
  
Ryo looked back down at his book. “Checking in with God, huh?” he said, turning a page with a wry smirk. “I’d _love_ to hear your reports on me.”  
  
Michael’s eyes narrowed at him. “Silence, Lucifer.”  
  
He fell silent again, and Ryo let him be. The archangel was definitely more tolerable this way, in Ryo’s opinion.  
  
Shutting Michael out of his mind, Ryo threw himself into his study. If it would help him understand Akira better, if it could convince him to stay with him… he would read a million books.  
  


* * *

_  
...Oh, I had a dream that you couldn't hear me screaming_  
_Tried to tell you everything but it wouldn't stop you leaving..._  
  
_...I wanna tell you what my truth is_  
_[But it's buried down inside...  
  
](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqsiJPK-94Q) _

* * *

  
“Why… why… why??”  
  
Akira ran away from the library, through the streets of Heaven, tears streaming from his eyes. He spotted a place akin to an alleyway, and he bolted for it. He couldn’t stand the concerned stares from onlookers any longer.  
  
Finally alone, he leaned back against the stone wall, catching his breath. He put his head back, placing the back of his hand on his forehead as he closed his still-wet eyes.  
  
“Why... “ he choked. “Why am I crying like this? They told me this wouldn’t happen anymore… that no one’s hurting anymore… so why-!”  
  
He clutched his chest, it aching with a pain he never thought he’d have to feel again, as more tears flowed.  
  
“It can’t be…” he gasped. He opened his eyes. “Ryo… is this what you were trying to tell me?  
  
“Then, back then…”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Just to get this out of the way, and to reassure anyone who may be weirded out right now: Jesus Christ won't be making an appearance in this fic, and is only mentioned one other time. I hate to say that I used Christ as a plot device, but, uh... hm. Welp.  
> (I've seen worse usage of deus ex machina in fiction)  
> In my defense, Crybaby was more focused on Christianity for its imagery and lore than in other adaptations of Devilman, so that's mainly why this choice was made, not due to a personal religious bias of any kind. I'm Jewish, so. Yeah.
> 
> If you have questions about anything else in this story, feel free to ask!!


	4. Pray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!! Thank you for reading this far <3
> 
> One small note: I revised chapter 2 to add a phrase about what Ryo's wearing in this story~  
> (since I forgot to mention it, orz)
> 
> [Here's the song this chapter's titled after](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhREiAarjVY)  
> The update after this one may take some time -- I haven't finished editing it yet ^^;  
> But it shouldn't take too long!!
> 
> Oh and also  
> -points to the 'canon compliant violence' tag-  
> that comes up here  
> I apologize in advance

“Miki-chan!”  
  
“Miki-kun!!”  
  
Miki ran to Miko at top speed, Miko catching her in her arms and twirling the both of them around, giggling all the while.  
  
Kukun walked up to them at a normal pace. “You saw each other like, five minutes ago,” he said with a slanted smile.  
  
Miko looked up at him. “What can I say? I can’t get enough of this girl,” she grinned, hugging Miki again.  
  
“Me neither!” Miki giggled.  
  
Miko set her down, and Miki’s hand found hers, holding it tight as she looked forward. “Wow, you were right! This is amazing!”  
  
Before them lay an immaculate track, perfectly maintained and surrounded by lush flowers and greenery. There were a few people running laps on it as they looked on.  
  
“Right?” Miko replied. “We could run forever on this. They hold races here too, so we can see how we match up against the pros!” She grinned again, already raring to go.  
  
“I can’t wait!” Miki smiled, then turned as she heard footsteps approaching them. It was Akira, giving the group a sheepish smile and wave.  
  
“Akira!” Miki said, letting go of Miko’s hand to meet him halfway. Miko watched her go, then struck up a conversation with Kukun while she waited for her to return.  
  
“Sorry I’m late,” Akira said.  
  
“It’s fine,” Miki shook her head.  
  
“You two seem happy,” Akira smiled, glancing at Miko.  
  
“We are,” Miki said, smiling genuinely. “You, don’t mind, do you?”  
  
“Not at all,” Akira said with a shake of his head. “I’m glad you’re happy, and that you two found each other again.”  
  
“I want _you_ to be happy, too,” Miki said, reaching up to cradle his face.  
  
“I am happy. I’m with all of you,” Akira smiled.  
  
Miki lifted herself on her toes slightly to get a better look at him. “You’ve been crying.”  
  
_Of course she’d notice,_ Akira thought sheepishly. He looked down.  
  
“How did it go?” Miki asked, lowering her voice.  
  
Akira sighed. “Not well at all. It’s like he hasn’t learned a thing!” He ran his hand through his hair in irritation. “I stood up to him though. Let him know that I’m not just gonna go along with whatever he says anymore.”  
  
“That’s good,” Miki nodded.  
  
“But…”  
  
“But?”  
  
“...I think there’s something he hasn’t told me. I think he wanted to tell me today, but he couldn’t stop being a jerk long enough to. I wonder…”  
  
“Mm?”  
  
“...I wonder if he was crying too.”  
  
Miki’s eyebrows lifted. “Really?”  
  
“I can’t believe it either, but… I think I saw something, after I died. Before I came here.”  
  
“What did you see?”  
  
“I saw him, holding my body, and… I think I saw him crying.”  
  
_“What?”  
  
_“I know,” Akira shook his head. “I can’t believe it either. Ryo’s _never_ cried, ever. Not even when we were kids. Of all the people he’s killed and watched die…” Akira’s voice softened and lowered. “...Why did he do that for me?”  
  
Miki frowned. “What are you going to do?”  
  
“I have to find out. I was starting to think that Ryo didn’t have any feelings, but… maybe I was wrong. I… don’t want to give up on him. Not yet.”  
  
“Are you going to go find him again?”  
  
“I think… I’ll let him find me again. I gave him some stuff to think about too, so… and, if what he wants to tell me is so important, he’ll find me.”  
  
“Right,” Miki smiled. “As long as he isn’t up to anything bad, I’m fine with that. Now come on,” she said, taking his hand. “Let’s go see the track and the gardens!”

* * *

   
Self-help books, books on relationships, books on the science and psychology of human emotion and emotional intelligence — even some novels.  
  
Soon, Ryo had read them all.  
  
Upon finishing the last book in the pile, Ryo sighed, leaning back in his chair limply.  
  
“Well?” Michael prodded.  
  
"Humans... are complicated. Too complicated."  
  
Michael gave a chuckle. "That they are."  
  
“I think… I’ve learned all I can from books,” Ryo concluded wearily, his brain swamped with information. _How do I apply all this to Akira?_

He lifted his head to look at Michael. “What now?”  
  
“Well,” Michael said, perking up, his posture becoming even straighter. “You _could_ try again to interact with Akira…”  
  
Ryo’s head lifted in interest at that.  
  
“...But, there is an additional step you can take that should ensure your success.”  
  
Ryo raised a single brow. “What is it?”  
  
Michael looked him in the eye. “I’ve consulted God-”  
  
“So you _were_ giving reports on me,” Ryo interjected.   
  
Michael frowned at him. “And He has consented to your use of the Emulator, with my supervision.”  
  
“The Emulator?”  
  
“Mm,” Michael nodded. “It is typically used for historical research purposes, but it can be especially helpful in cases like yours.”  
  
“Helpful with?”  
  
“Empathy training.”  
  
Ryo lolled his head back again with a sigh. “Still?”  
  
“Have you mastered it? Can you face Akira as you are now?”  
  
Ryo paused.  
  
“I didn’t think so.”  
  
Michael stood, and extended his hand to Ryo. Ryo lifted his head to look at him, then his offered hand. He grasped it reluctantly, it steadying him as he stood from his slouched position.  
  
“Your time spent with demons has made you psychopathic. It was inevitable,” Michael continued, shaking his head slightly. “But, I do not believe it is your true nature. Deep down, you’re still an angel of God. It may be possible for you to regain what you lost, and relearn true empathy. But, it will not take ordinary methods to do so. Books can only teach so much.”  
  
“So what is the Emulator? What can it do?”  
  
“So you’ve forgotten that as well… Let’s return these books to their rightful places first, if you’re finished with them. Then we can move on to the next place, and speak there.”  
  
Ryo frowned. “You’re always so thorough…”  
  
Michael didn’t reply, setting straight to work collecting the books Ryo had read and putting them back where they had been found. Ryo hadn’t bothered to remember their locations, so he ended up following Michael and merely handing books to him for him to put away.  
  
When they had finished, Ryo’s boredom had hit its peak, his patience soon to follow. “So are we done here? Where is this Emulator?”  
  
“Shh,” Michael said, then leaned over to speak in a lowered voice. “I will lead you to it.”  
  
Ryo pulled back, looked Michael up and down. “If I’m to follow you, you’re going to have to change your appearance, aren’t you?”  
  
“I’ve already taken that into consideration,” Michael said, then the next moment, his form had changed.  
  
Before him now, Ryo saw a human-esque Michael — long, wavy blond hair, a broad, chiseled masculine form, wearing a suit, vest and long brown overcoat, and thin-wired half-moon glasses.  
  
Ryo frowned again. “...You look like one of my old professors.”  
  
Michael smiled. “That was the idea.”  
  
With that, he stepped toward the doors of the library, his overcoat swaying with his steps. He looked back. “Are you coming?”  
  
Ryo sighed silently. With plodding steps, he obeyed Michael the archangel.  
  
Oh how the tables had turned.  
  
On the streets of Heaven again, Ryo felt some measure of relief — he had lost count of the hours he had spent in that library, and though exquisite it was, he couldn’t help but feel stifled within it. He stretched his arms, then his legs. He had to remind himself not to stretch out his wings.  
  
“So, where to?” Ryo asked Michael, who was patiently waiting for Ryo to limber himself.  
  
“It is not very far from here, just follow my lead,” Michael replied.  
  
“Fine,” Ryo said, finishing his stretches. _He’s being terribly cryptic. Am I not going to like this?  
  
_Michael nodded affirmatively, and he set off down the street. Not being as used to taking a human form as Ryo was, however, Michael’s strides were long and brisk, making keeping up with him difficult. Ryo was in no position to tell him to slow down, so he settled for trailing behind him as quickly as he could.  
  
Before he realized it — as focused on following Michael as he was — they had arrived, Michael coming to a smooth stop, Ryo slowing just in time to avoid colliding with him. He looked upward, and Ryo followed his gaze. Another finely designed building, of stone and marble, its plaquette stating humbly, ‘Hall of Records’.  
  
“Follow me,” Michael said to Ryo, climbing the steps.  
  
_As though I haven’t been doing that all the way here,_ Ryo thought bitterly, falling in line behind Michael as he went up the stone stairs and reached the doors. They entered the building, and found its interior to be just as exquisite as its exterior, if not more so. Its high, vaulted ceiling, white with gilded accents, framed an enormous painting that appeared to depict the Earth (with lush forests, blue seas, and rolling fields, with man and animal alike), Heaven above it (with angels, naturally), and a star-filled galaxy above that. The Hall’s walls were flanked with bookshelves that reached the ceiling, perfectly lined with record books and scrolls. The lighting inside was just bright enough to read by comfortably, but soft enough to give the space a pleasant feeling of warmth.  
  
“Stay here,” Michael said, as he went ahead to speak to the friendly-looking attendants at a nearby service counter. Ryo fidgeted, feeling like a child forced to obey. Glancing around, Ryo saw why Michael’s disguise was needed here — the place was swarmed with humans, and though they were engaged in their own conversations with one another, the appearance of an _archangel,_ in his full, golden, multi-winged glory, would no doubt have stolen their attention. Not that his ‘disguise’ was in any way _subtle,_ though. In a moment Michael returned, the female and male attendants staring after him in awe.  
  
“What was that about?” Ryo asked.  
  
“Just confirming the appointment. I notified them in advance that we would be coming here, so they could set things up appropriately.”  
  
Ryo looked at him, his eyes narrowing. “You’re being shady. What’s going to happen here?”  
  
“You will be fine,” Michael reassured, placing his hand on Ryo’s back and leading him forward. “I wouldn’t have brought you this far with the intent to harm you. This is for your own good.”  
  
_This is for your own good._ Ryo didn’t like the sound of that. Feeling just a taste of Michael’s strength via the firm hand on his back though, Ryo was powerless but to obey.  
  
“...How did you arrange this without letting me out of your sight?” Ryo ventured, changing the subject.  
  
“I used prayer to contact God and the other angels; they made the arrangements in my stead,” Michael replied simply.  
  
“Ah, I see. So my research in the library was merely a convenient way for you to buy time,” Ryo stated.  
  
Michael looked straight ahead, not meeting his eyes. Ryo could see him swallow. “Mm.”  
  
_I should have known._ “The angels listen to every word you say, don’t they?” Ryo said with a sly smirk.  
  
“Well, as you might say, I _am_ their boss,” Michael said. “Speaking of which, it would not hurt for you to give prayer a try.”  
  
“Like the angels would listen to _me_ anymore,” Ryo replied with a shake of his head. “And I’d rather not push my luck with God.”  
  
“For _guidance,_ you walnut. Like humans do.”  
  
Ryo choked out a laugh at that. “Why? I already have you for that.”  
  
Michael looked at him for a long moment. “Tch,” was his only response.  
  
Michael directed him onward, into a hall of doors, pointing him toward the one marked ‘Room 333’.  
  
_A trinity. How perfect,_ Ryo thought with a small snide smirk.  
  
Michael reached forward, opening the door and entering the room with Ryo.  
  
To its credit, the room was unintimidating and unassuming, painted an off-white and fairly small, barely big enough for the two of them. There was a white couch in the middle of it, which Ryo went ahead to sit down on. This whole situation was making him tense, and he didn’t like feeling tense.  
  
He glanced up at Michael. “So what’s going to happen here?”  
  
Michael let out a breath, seeming to relax a little. “Remember that I said that the Emulator can be used for historical research purposes?”  
  
Ryo nodded.  
  
“That is because the Emulator is a special device that allows the user to not only visit any point of time on Earth, but enables them to fully experience it from the perspective of someone who lived during that time.”  
  
“Fully experience it? Does that include their emotions, as well?”  
  
“It does. Consider it the literal form of walking around in someone else’s shoes. Humanity wouldn’t be human without emotion, and emotions have often driven significant change throughout human history, so it is important for researchers to have that information accessible as well.”  
  
“So you’re saying… that I’ll be able to understand Akira’s feelings through this,” Ryo said, the information washing over him in a wave.  
  
“Yes. It was made for humans, but I’ve asked the curators to modify it for use by angels, just for you. You will be placed in a designated point in time, and will experience that moment as him, until the selected period of time is over. You will still be you, but you will see and feel everything that he did, and you will not be able to interfere with the past in any way.”  
  
Ryo stared at his surroundings, his eyes landing on a vest and helmet. Was that the needed equipment? “...Did Akira approve of this?” he found himself asking.  
  
“Since you are inextricably linked to Akira’s life chart, you are allowed access to his file. Also, as it was related to the Apocalypse and the events that led to it, the events of his life, among others, will be open for research by anyone who wants to pursue that information. The compilations are just not open for public research yet.”  
  
“...I see.”  
  
“Surely Akira would appreciate your effort in trying to better understand him?”  
  
“He might consider this cheating,” Ryo said with a sarcastic smile.  
  
“Considering how dense you can be, I think he would understand,” Michael said with a rare smirk.  
  
It wasn’t just the invasion of Akira’s privacy he was worried about — Ryo wondered if he could handle it himself. Akira was his opposite — human _and_ highly sensitive, highly emotional. But if it was only for a limited time period…  he could handle it, right?  
  
“...Alright. What do I do?”  
  
Michael smiled and stepped forward. He picked up the vest. “First, you put this on. It needs to contact the skin, so you will have to take off your shirt.”  
  
“Fine,” Ryo said, then began to pull off his sweater. He felt no need to cover himself in front of Michael — their true forms were identical, anyway.  
  
Michael stared regardless, at Ryo’s chest. “I see you’ve taken on a male appearance.”  
  
Ryo fixed him with a look. “Yes. I figured my having breasts would have caused more of a stir among the humans than if I’d arrived here with my wings out,” he said in a deadpan tone.  
  
“My apologies,” Michael said awkwardly. “You are more familiar with the intricacies of human interaction than I.”  
  
“Well, humans certainly care more about gender than angels do, I can tell you that much. Anyway,” Ryo picked up the vest, “so I put it on like this?”  
  
“Here, let me assist you,” Michael said, stepping in. He slipped it over Ryo’s body, zipping it up in the back and tightening it with its attached belts. Ryo thought to himself that this would be difficult to do alone, when he felt _something_ reacting to his skin, attaching itself.  
  
“What’s that?” Ryo said, flinching a little.  
  
“It’s connecting to your dermal and neural networks. This will enable you to feel the physical sensations,” Michael explained.  
  
“I see… and what’s the helmet for?” Ryo asked, pointing to it. _Looks like something out of a sci-fi B movie…  
  
_Michael picked it up. “This will cover the rest of your senses, and connect to your brain. It is a bit like a… Vee Arr device?” he ventured.  
  
_Virtual Reality, he must mean._ “Ah, right, I heard about those on Earth. I see Heaven’s technology has only improved since I’ve been away.”  
  
“It really has,” Michael smiled. He handed Ryo the headset, who took it and examined it. It covered most of the skull, the ears, and had a visor that looked as though it would completely cover the eyes, shutting them out from any outside contamination.  
  
Ryo looked up at Michael then. “So you’ve selected a time period for me?”  
  
“Yes. Based on what Akira said, I and the other angels determined the best period of time for you to experience, in order for you to better understand his feelings.”  
  
“...I see.”  
  
_Why am I nervous?  
  
_“Are you nervous?” Michael asked, leaning down and tilting his head to examine Ryo.  
  
_Damn his perceptiveness._ “...Let’s just do this,” Ryo said, slipping the helmet over his head resolutely. He expected darkness, but instead his eyes were greeted with a blank, vast white space. Somehow that was creepier.  
  
He couldn’t hear anything, either. Suddenly the headset lifted, and he could hear Michael’s voice again. “-Can you hear me now?”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Ah, alright. I just wanted to tell you one last thing.”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“That no matter what happens, nothing can physically harm you in this simulation. And do not forget: You will not be trapped. This vision _will_ end, and you will return here. I will keep watch over you.”  
  
_This isn’t getting any less foreboding._ “...Alright.”  
  
“I will start it now,” Michael said, and let go of the headset.  
  
Ryo’s senses were muffled again, staring into the perfect blankness as he waited for something to happen.  
  
_Welcome to your emulation,_ he heard in a soft, feminine voice. _Please wait.  
  
_A moment later: _Your emulation is now ready. Close your eyes. When you hear a sound, open them.  
  
_Ryo did as told, closing his eyes.  
  
_*Ping*  
  
__Emulation start.  
  
_Ryo opened his eyes, and at once, he felt as though he were being thrown into a pool fully-clothed. He gasped.  
  
The first sensation he felt was warmth. Akira was so _warm_.  
  
The next was the feeling of sheer power, strength coursing through him constantly yet silently — the power of Amon. Right next to that, he felt Akira’s beating heart — his pure, untainted, _human_ heart.  
  
He was inside Akira’s body, seeing through his eyes — Ryo was himself, but now, he was Akira, too. The new sensations were almost overwhelming at first — but he didn’t have much time to get acclimated.  
  
Because Akira was walking, weakly, toward Miki Makimura’s house, Miko Kuroda supporting his weight by his side. Akira’s thoughts were his now — flashes of visions that Akira just couldn’t shake. Miki’s father, shot dead; Miki’s little brother, possessed by a demon and shot whilst eating his own mother. The graves that Akira had dug for them all. Again and again, the images rotated in Akira’s mind.  
  
Not only that, but his chest felt so _heavy.  
  
__Holy shit,_ Ryo thought as he beheld it. _And here I thought having a heavy heart was just an expression… how can he breathe?  
  
_Whatever emotions he was having, Akira seemed to have them trapped within himself, carrying them like a weight on his back. The pair reached the door of the Makimura residence and entered it.  
  
Miki met them at the door, speaking in a worried voice. Along with her came those… rapping teens. Ryo didn’t bother to remember their names. Akira offered up his hand to give one of the boys a lifeless fistbump, his facial expression unchanging, his eyes trained on the floor.  
  
Miki asked at last — did he find her parents?  
  
The trapped emotions in Akira’s chest stirred and percolated, threatening to boil over. He couldn’t bring himself to lift his head, couldn’t find the words to say it any differently than this:  
  
“...They’re dead. Everyone’s dead!”  
  
Miki was stunned into silence, and Akira turned his gaze upward at last, watched her as she walked upstairs robotically.  
  
The emotions in Akira were unbarred; but, it was the thought of Miki’s grief that made them overflow, bubbling upward from his chest and finally to his eyes, which overflowed. He could hear Miki’s loud cry from upstairs, and Akira echoed it.  
  
Wait.  
  
_Grief.  
  
_Ryo had a name for it, now. The emotion he felt when Akira died… part of it, at least. What he felt then was more, was larger than this. But this was close to it.  
  
He could feel the sting and flow of tears from Akira’s eyes, the ache in Akira’s chest. Miki had lost her entire family, and Akira had lost the only family he’d truly known — yet, Akira was only crying for Miki, and for the ones who could no longer cry.  
  
Being able to behold his heart now, Ryo could confirm it at last — Akira never truly cried for himself. He _always_ cried for others. His heart was strong, but felt deeply — something that Ryo thought could never go together, strength _and_ feeling. Human emotion that didn’t serve to weaken, but to strengthen.  
  
Ryo realized, then, that Akira was never truly weak, despite being a crybaby. He knew Akira’s heart was strong — that’s why he took the chance of turning him into a devilman — but he had only been able to comprehend a mere fraction of it.  
  
Akira and Miki eventually cried themselves out, Akira somehow finding his way to the living room, sitting in a daze on the sofa, the rapper teens seated casually nearby. Ryo wondered how much longer this vision would last.  
  
He didn’t have to wonder for long.  
  
One of the boys’ cell phones sounded suddenly, startling them, and a sound all too familiar to Ryo played. Akira, without a cell phone of his own, turned on the television in the room to watch the broadcast.  
  
When Ryo appeared on the screen, he felt Akira’s heart leap, taking him by surprise.  
  
“Ryo?”  
  
_What… what is this feeling he’s having…  
  
_“That’s right, Ryo. We need to get the humans to trust us and show them that they don’t have a reason to be afraid!”  
  
_Did… did he really think that?  
  
_Ryo stared at himself through Akira’s eyes, suddenly feeling a sense of dread that didn’t belong to Akira.  
  
As the Ryo on the broadcast began to speak, Akira’s hopefulness turned to confusion. Ryo heard Akira’s thoughts in his own mind: _This isn’t right… is it?  
  
_And as the edited footage of Akira becoming a devilman played, Ryo felt Akira’s jaw — and heart — drop.  
  
He stared on in horror, watching the video play out and hearing the gasps from behind him. Akira’s emotions were in a tangle, difficult to decipher, until one thought broke through.  
  
_How could he betray me like this? How??  
  
_Ryo felt Akira’s heart ache at that thought, the ache mixed with anger.  
  
Ryo looked at himself on the screen, as he made his grand performance of standing on the desk and gesticulating emphatically as he lied gratuitously.  
  
_You bastard,_ he thought to himself bitterly.  
  
The broadcast ended, with Akira shocked stiff. That is, until he heard a gun being cocked.  
  
Ryo was the one who was shocked this time, a jolt of anxiety going through him subconsciously as Akira turned to explain himself, and the gun fired as he spoke.  
  
Luckily, it missed him entirely. Ryo was nonetheless shaken — he swore he felt his own heart stop momentarily.  
  
Akira’s eyes scanned the boys who had been seated near him, looking for the culprit, and they landed on the smaller boy with dreadlocked hair hanging over his eyes, who had fallen behind the ottoman, his handgun letting out a tendril of smoke.  
  
Akira tried once again to explain himself, that he was still human, that he would never hurt a human, that he had been fighting against the demons the whole time. It was right then that Miki came back down the stairs, and despite the rapper boys’ protests, she approached Akira without a trace of fear.  
  
“You were the same back then, too. Akira, you were crying for my family earlier, weren’t you?” she said.  
  
Coming closer, Miki smiled and spread her arms wide, and embraced Akira warmly.  
  
“You haven’t changed, Akira.”  
  
Akira’s arms lifted, and Ryo felt as though his own were pulled along with them as they wrapped around Miki, returning her tender embrace. “Thanks, Miki,” he said softly.  
  
“We _are_ family, after all,” he heard Miki say, and Akira closed his eyes. A feeling of comfort and relief washed over Akira, his heartbeat slowing. Ryo felt a pang of jealousy, but at the same time… he felt almost grateful for the girl. Was that his own emotion, or Akira’s? He couldn’t tell. But the fact was, she kept Akira alive right then.  
  
Right then, Miki Makimura had done a better job of protecting Akira than he had.  
  
Ryo’s bitterness turned inward — what a foolish, arrogant mistake he had made. He could’ve gotten Akira killed right then and there.  
  
Now, he understood at least part of Akira’s anger at him.  
  
The feeling of peace didn’t last long — likely responding to the broadcast, police cars drove up to the Makimura residence fast. The rapper boys told Akira to sneak out, and Akira complied, saying that he needed to see Ryo. _That_ part Ryo had predicted successfully, at least.  
  
Akira promised Miki that he would come back to her, asked the rapper boys to protect her ( _Them? Really?_ Ryo thought to himself), and then he was off, out the window and taking to the sky, as police cars attempted to follow.  
  
While he was gliding through the air, Ryo felt Akira’s feelings of confusion, anger, and… _hurt?  
  
_“Why? Why, Ryo?” he exclaimed to only himself. Ryo wished he could tell him right then.  
  
Just then, Akira’s head turned, as he heard a violent commotion from the ground below. Ryo felt Akira’s heart drop, his body curving downward before his thoughts could catch up.  
  
_What is he doing?_ Ryo thought with irritation.  
  
Akira landed upon the grisly scene, where humans had other humans tied up, accusing them of being demons as they hurled stones and rocks at them, any object they could get their hands on to throw.  
  
_This was to be expected,_ Ryo thought to himself, unsurprised by the humans’ actions. _This is what I wanted to show you, Akira. This is how humans are.  
  
_He felt the ache in Akira’s chest, as he yelled to the crowd, trying to talk sense into them. Ryo almost pitied him. _There was no use in this. It was just a waste of time. How many times did I tell you, Akira? You can’t save everyone.  
  
_“Why are humans fighting one another? Why kill each other?” Akira exclaimed, his voice wavering with emotion. “If you’re going to kill, kill a demon. Kill me.”  
  
_Huh?  
  
_“Why do you kill each other? Why do you hate each other?!”  
  
Akira spread his arms, leaving himself open to attack, as he turned his head upward.  
  
As the ache in Akira’s chest spread, and [tears streamed down his face in despair](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hAJBDZe21w), Ryo realized something.  
  
Try as he might, he could not control Akira’s heart. He never could.  
  
And… there was something beautiful in that.  
  
The mind hesitates, deliberates, but the heart just _acts._ At least, Akira’s did. He never, ever hesitated to show love and care for others. It was just who he was.  
  
And… maybe that’s why Ryo was so fond of him, as well. No one else had cared for him like Akira had, all his life. Akira hadn’t hesitated to reach his hand out to him, all those years ago. His compassion never ran dry. At least… not until Ryo had done what he did...  
  
_“I would like to cry for you… but my tears have all dried up.”  
  
_As Ryo pondered this, something unexpected happened, snapping him back to the present moment. Ryo hadn’t seen it, his only visual through Akira’s eyes being the dark night sky above, but he felt it. First, the objects had stopped flying through the air and hitting Akira. Second, he felt something touch Akira’s leg.  
  
Akira looked down, and saw a young child had latched onto his furry, inhuman leg, _hugging_ it. Ryo observed in disbelief, as Akira reached down and tried to give the small boy some small embrace in return with his large, clawed hands. Soon, another child followed suit, and another, all giving him hugs of _comfort.  
  
_Humans, comforting a _demon?  
  
_Even more surprising, the adults in the crowd came up to hug Akira as well, and _apologize._ They began to untie the injured people that they had been accusing of being demons less than ten minutes prior.  
  
These humans… they must have seen the humanity in Akira. His human heart that remained, that showed through his tears. The truth about devilmen.  
  
And once they had seen that truth, they acted with compassion, their hatred washed away.  
  
Ryo would never have believed it, even if Akira had told him so, if he hadn’t seen it with his own — well, Akira’s, really — eyes. He never thought that humans other than Akira could show this kind of compassion in the face of such great difference.  
  
Maybe… he had underestimated humanity all along. Maybe humanity _didn’t_ deserve to be wiped from the face of the Earth.  
  
Of course, he realized this far too late.  
  
Ryo’s thoughts were interrupted violently however, as Koda approached Akira with a mocking, “Hey, Devilman.”  
  
As Akira looked up, Koda transformed in a flash, his demon form stabbing him with its horn.  
  
A jolt of anger went through Ryo; anger went through Akira as well, mixed with indignation as the humans around them screamed in terror.  
  
“The world belongs to the demons,” Koda exclaimed. Akira was flug off of Koda’s horn, when two flying demons — likely of Xenon’s army — flew in.  
  
“Good job, Koda. Move, we’ll finish it off.”  
  
_That fucking traitor,_ Ryo seethed, realizing that Koda had become part of Xenon’s rebellion. _If Akira had just disposed of him like I’d asked...  
  
_He sighed internally. Even as he thought it, he knew that that wasn’t possible. That Akira would never have been capable of leaving even someone like Koda behind. Even now, in Heaven, he had cried for him.  
  
Akira, taking a second to get his bearings after being inflicted such a heavy wound, took flight, as a fiery explosion was set off below.  
  
_Those humans… were likely killed right then,_ Ryo thought. He felt a sadness that he wasn’t sure belonged to Akira or himself.  
  
The flying demons gave chase to Akira in midair as he fled, and after he had gathered his strength he caught them one by one, tearing them in half and throwing away the pieces. Akira had gained the advantage, but as he tore apart the last demon on his tail, another one rose up in ambush - the massive, immensely powerful Xenon.  
  
_Him,_ Ryo thought angrily. The ringleader of the demons that had acted in Satan’s stead, without consent. Even now, he could never forgive it.  
  
Especially not now, that he felt the pain of Xenon’s blows on Akira, as Akira tried his hardest to fight back, to kill him as well. _This is why Akira never came to my apartment,_ Ryo realized. Though, perhaps that was best — Xenon’s army seemed bound and determined to wipe out Ryo and Akira both, taking any means necessary to do so, including bombing his penthouse.  
  
Xenon flug Akira to the ground, to the mouth of an inactive volcano, and came at him. Akira was ready; he tackled Xenon, and with great effort — and no small resistance on Xenon’s part — Akira tore the demon apart at last. Ryo couldn’t help but be impressed.  
  
Akira panted, recovering gradually from the wounds he had been dealt, when a thought crossed his mind.  
  
_Miki. If_ I’m _being attacked, then she-!  
  
_In an instant, he was on his feet, and, unable to fly just yet, he began to sprint on all fours, at top speed.  
  
_The thing I want to protect the most is you, Miki. Hang on. I’m coming.  
  
_Ryo felt bitterness, jealousy at that, but then he felt Akira’s feelings, as he remembered his promise to Miki, one he had made when they were just children — to always protect her.  
  
The sensation was a surprisingly familiar one — it reminded Ryo of his own feelings, for Akira.  
  
And… hadn’t she done what most humans wouldn’t have, and accepted Akira as he is, demon or not?  
  
Akira seemed to be running toward the Makimura house, which was a fair distance away. Ryo didn’t know what lay ahead, so he took in the sensations Akira was currently feeling — the sheer power coursing through him as he ran, splitting the air in two; his heart pounding in exertion and anxiety.  
  
_Akira always did like to run, didn’t he.  
  
_Familiar landmarks came into view, bringing with them a sense of relief — Akira was nearly there.  
  
_Miki, I’m back.  
  
_Not paying the scent of smoke in the air much mind, he turned a corner that led to the Makimura residence, and as it came into his vision, his heart fell.  
  
_Miki.  
  
_The girl’s house was ablaze, the fire consuming the residence entirely and burning intensely.  
  
_Where… ? Did she escape… ?  
  
_Akira approached the scene… and stopped.  
  
He stared unblinking at the sight before him, frozen in place.  
  
Humans.  
  
Humans were in front of the fire.  
  
Not putting it out or fleeing, no — they were _celebrating.  
  
_They held large sticks aloft in the air. Sticks weighted by... something.  
  
As Akira realized what he was looking at, his horror grew and grew. Because on the ends of those sticks… were body parts of humans.  
  
Not just any humans - his and Miki’s friends. The rapping boys, Miko...  
  
And…  
  
He looked closer still.  
  
And Akira’s heart dropped to his feet.  
  
It was Miki. Unmistakably Miki.  
  
Miki’s head.  
  
Just her head.  
  
Akira’s eyes lost focus, a flood of tears streaming from them. His mind had become a swarming chaos, unable to process what he was seeing, until a single thought formed itself at last.  
  
_Miki is dead.  
  
_And Akira clutched his head, and screamed, and screamed.  
  
Ryo felt everything Akira felt in that moment. Horror, loss, disgust, grief, pain.  
  
And he was screaming, too.  
  
When Akira had run out of breath, his eyes refocused, still welling with tears, but staring straight at the humans who had committed this atrocity.  
  
“You guys are the ones who are demons,” he said lowly, his anger building. He summoned the power of Amon, and sparked flames in midair, their heat licking at his back.  
  
“Go to hell, you mortals!” In an instant he ignited the air, sending hellfire straight in the humans’ direction, incinerating them in a second.  
  
Though the humans who had done this were gone, the deep ache in Akira’s chest remained.  
  
Ryo suddenly remembered something that Akira had told him, not long after he had become a devilman:  
  
_“If I start hurting people, like a devil, kill me right away. If I start to lose control of myself, just like Fikira, I’ll choose death.”  
  
_He heard screaming.  
  
It was his own voice.  
  
_Emulation end.  
_


	5. Lost in Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOMENASORRY  
> This took so long... between the holidays, secret santa projects and real life things, and the work that needed to be done on this chapter, it all took longer than I expected to complete o(-<  
> I ended up splitting this chapter due to the additions, so either the next chapter will be a bit longer, or this story will have 11 chapters instead of 10. Guess we'll find out together ^^'  
> The next update should come a lot faster than this one did!!  
> Oh, and the title song for this chapter is [this one.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEVmIYfoTDE)
> 
> Thanks again to [coolangelsthesis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolangelsthesis/pseuds/coolangelsthesis) for beta-reading for me! If you need a beta-reader, [contact her on twitter!](https://twitter.com/noizomi_)
> 
> EDIT: I forgot to add a song link in the fic itself, oops. See if you can find it~

It didn’t stop.  
  
His screaming, nor the intense ache in his chest.  
  
Blankness met his eyes now, but he could only writhe helplessly, completely overcome.  
  
He felt the helmet being wrenched off his head, and he instantly shut his eyes against the light.  
  
“Ryo!”  
  
Ryo’s eyes opened, his movements stilled. He realized that he was lying on the floor. He looked up, his eyes focusing. Michael was there, leaning over him, a look of concern on his face.  
  
“...You’ve never called me that,” Ryo said, his voice weaker than he had expected.  
  
Michael cast his gaze away from Ryo’s awkwardly. “I thought it would get your attention.”  
  
Ryo touched his own face and felt a dampness there. He looked at his fingertips out of impulse, and found a clear fluid on them. Roughly half of his face was still soaking wet.  
  
He looked up at the helmet that Michael was still holding, and saw it drip now and then.  
  
“I… was crying…” Ryo said in incredulity.

“Yes,” Michael confirmed. “The helmet’s built for that, but it does tend to collect,” he said, looking at the helmet; he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped it out. “I probably should have warned you.”  
  
Ryo pushed himself off the ground, tremulously, and pulled himself into a seated position. He would have stood, but the flood of memories returned, shuddering the breath he took. Michael wordlessly moved to take the Emulator’s vest off of him, Ryo raising his arms limply as he slipped it off.  
  
Emotions assaulting his mind and heart again, Ryo pulled his knees toward himself, and hid his face as tears fell from his eyes once again. Involuntarily, he let out a soft sob, after which he heard Michael get down on the floor in front of him.  
  
This irritated Ryo — he didn’t want to be pitied, certainly not by _him._ “I can’t help it,” he said angrily, the harshness of his voice tempered by his tremulous voice. “It won’t stop…”  
  
He let out another sob. A moment after, he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“...What you just saw,” Michael began, his voice lower and softer than usual, “was what Akira went through before he met up with you on that cliff. Before you revealed your true form to him.”  
  
Ryo took a ragged breath. “So that’s why… why he rejected me…”  
  
Michael’s voice seemed to come closer. “You betrayed him. He trusted you, and you took that for granted. What you did not only doomed humanity, which could have had a fighting chance, it ensured that the ones closest to Akira would suffer greatly as a result of being associated with him. Akira… not only blames you for this. He blames himself as well, for being unable to protect the ones he loved. But… you caused him this pain. He hasn’t forgotten it. Face this fact.”  
  
Ryo looked up at him, his face stained with tears. “What can I do about it? Why would he ever forgive me for this? I should just take my punishment… he loves _that girl,_ not me...”  
  
Ryo put his head back down. Michael paused, scrutinizing him.  
  
“While I would honor such a request… I suggest that you not underestimate Akira’s heart.”  
  
Ryo let out a long sigh. “You’re saying that I should keep trying?”  
  
“Akira has not given up on you. He still cares about you. If you disappeared now…” Michael trailed off.  
  
Ryo looked up. “What?”  
  
Michael fixed him with a solemn look. “...He would miss you.”  
  
Ryo stared at him for a long moment, then looked down. “You can’t know that.”  
  
Michael sighed, standing up. “I suppose not. My intuition is rarely wrong, though.”  
  
Michael’s eyes fell upon the Emulator again. “Hmm.”  
  
“What now?”  
  
“Perhaps I can show you something else. Something that may help you understand Akira further.”  
  
Ryo shrank away from the Emulator on impulse. “I’m not putting that thing back on.”  
  
_“Lucifer,”_ Michael grit out. Ryo glared up at him.  
  
Michael picked up the vest and helmet and held it out to Ryo with a stern expression. “Do as you’re told.”  
  
Ryo grumbled, snatching the equipment from Michael’s hands roughly.  
  
He sat down on the couch reluctantly, allowing Michael to suit him up again.  
  
“Is this fun for you?” Ryo spat.  
  
“Just trust me, would you?” Michael replied with a note of waning patience, pulling the vest tight. “This will be gentler than the last vision.”  
  
“And you’re not going to tell me anything about it again,” Ryo supplied.  
  
“I’ll surprise you,” Michael said flatly, then put the helmet on Ryo’s head in one quick motion.  
  
Ryo was almost thankful not to have to hear Michael’s voice or see his face anymore, his senses greeted by the blank whiteness of the Emulator in neutral again.  
  
The wait seemed longer this time — likely because Michael didn’t program the Emulator _before_ putting it on Ryo’s head — not that Ryo minded. The stillness of the silence contrasted with the chaos of his mind, calming him somewhat.  
  
_Welcome to your emulation,_ he heard at last. _Please wait.  
  
__Your emulation is now ready. Close your eyes. When you hear a sound, open them.  
  
_Ryo complied. _I had better not regret this,_ he thought.  
  
_*Ping*  
  
__Emulation start.  
  
_Ryo opened his eyes, and found himself gasping involuntarily as he was again suddenly surrounded by sensations that weren’t his own.  
  
Fresh air, carrying the scent of the sea with it.  
  
A warm, sunny afternoon.  
  
And… Akira.  
  
He was inside Akira again, seeing through his eyes. Though he did not think that Michael would have put him in the point-of-view of anyone else, it still brought Ryo a measure of comfort, being this close to Akira, even if it was just in his past.  
  
And this Akira… was different from the one he had inhabited mere moments before. Power and strength didn’t course through his veins. There was no dark presence to be found, no other personality trying to take over. His pure, kind heart beat alone and free, no longer fighting a constant battle for supremacy.  
  
This was Akira… [before Ryo had taken him to the Sabbath.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CSvlvXf8rQ)  
  
That realization sent a chill through Ryo, as he realized, too, what Michael had wanted to show him. He refocused, paying attention to this Akira’s thoughts.  
  
_Miki… where’s she going?  
  
__Going off by herself… I should follow her! Just to make sure she’s okay!  
  
_With that, Akira set off running, as Ryo sighed. _Her again.  
  
_Akira reached the pier, spotting Miki lying down at the end of it, her feet dangling from the edge. Feeling shy all of a sudden, Akira crawled into a nearby, unoccupied boat, just out of sight of the girl.  
  
_I’ll just… keep an eye on her from here. I don’t wanna intrude on… whatever she’s doing.  
  
_Which wasn’t much, it seemed. Miki seemed to be pondering something. Her reverie was interrupted, as Akira heard a group approach.  
  
_Ah, those rapping teens,_ Ryo realized as the boys — three of them, this time — started to beatbox and rhyme, going down the stairs and walking closer and closer to where Miki stood.  
  
_What’s with those guys? Why are they going near her?_ Akira thought, watching the scene playing out in front of him, the boys deliberately blocking Miki’s path as she tried to evade them.  
  
The boys finished their rap, getting closer to Miki. “So, what did you think of the tour?” the apparent leader of the group — Wamu, Ryo remembered — said, leaning toward Miki.  
  
“Hey, I’ve seen you before!” one of the other boys chimed in — the one Ryo didn’t recognize, with tattoos on his hands. “You do bikini modeling, don’t you?”  
  
_Bikini modeling?!_ Akira thought in alarm.  
  
The boy turned to Wamu then. “She’s famous. The witch of high school track-and-field.”  
  
Wamu looked to Miki. “So, you can run fast?”  
  
_I have a bad feeling about this…_ Akira balled his hands into fists, gathering his courage.  
  
“Excuse me!” he piped up, standing from his hiding place and revealing himself at last.  
  
The group’s eyes all turned toward Akira.  
  
“Sir. Please, stop,” Akira said, a polite, friendly smile on his lips.  
  
“Akira,” Miki said in recognition.  
  
“I happened to pass by…” Akira began, but Miki cut in quick.  
  
“Did you follow me?”  
  
Akira flinched, his smile turning awkward, but he stood firm.  
  
“Did you just come out from the sea or something, Mr. Mermaid?” Wamu drawled.  
  
“Yep. I’m a mermaid just arrived from the faraway sea!” Akira saluted cheerily.  
  
Ryo felt a warmth of fondness in his own chest as he smiled to himself, remembering the silly things that Akira would say as they played together as children. _Akira never changed.  
  
_“Shut up,” one of the boys said. “Then go back to the faraway sea,” said another, as they threw pieces of nearby lumber down onto Akira — all he could do was raise his arms in an attempt to shield himself.  
  
Just then, as if on cue, Akira heard tires screeching nearby.  
  
He looked up to the top of the pier and saw a figure dressed in white rushing up the stairs, coming to a hurried halt. Ryo knew who it was before Akira himself did.  
  
“Akira!” past-Ryo called, stretching out his hand to him.  
  
Akira’s mind nearly grinded to a halt, struggling to process what he’s seeing before him. He can hear the others remarking on the newcomer, commenting on his choice of clothing, but it doesn’t register.  
  
Akira’s thoughts go from, _Who is this,_ to, _Could it be…?  
  
_“Ryo...chan?”  
  
“Come with me, Akira!” Ryo said, his hand still outstretched to him.  
  
Akira gaped at him, frozen in place.  
  
“Excuse me,” said one of the boys. “We’re in the middle of something.”  
  
Akira witnesses Ryo opening his coat to reveal a large gun. “You guys stay quiet.”  
  
It doesn’t stop him from getting out of the boat as quickly as he could, running up the stairs toward Ryo.  
  
_Ryo! It’s really him!  
  
_Ryo felt Akira’s unbridled, untainted joy as he ran up to past-Ryo’s awaiting arms, where he wrapped his arms around Ryo’s neck and he’s embraced in return, twirling in place.  
  
“Stop messing around!” one of the boys said, and Ryo replied with machine gunfire, cutting off their path. Present-Ryo expected Akira to feel some apprehension, perhaps even wariness or fear. Instead, Akira felt some shock and confusion, but neither feeling outweighs his elation.  
  
“Come with me right away, Akira,” past-Ryo said to him, Akira looking back at him in surprise.  
  
“Akira, who is that guy?” Miki asked.  
  
Ryo can feel the pull of a wide smile on Akira’s face as he replied. “Ryo Asuka. We’re the same age, but he’s a professor in the States.”  
  
“Let’s go,” past-Ryo said, and Akira felt himself being pulled away. He was put in the passenger seat of Ryo’s car quick as a flash — but not without care — before Ryo dashed around to the driver’s side, making a quick getaway in seconds.  
  
As Ryo drove him away, the sun soon set, and it was dark by the time Akira asked him about his car, setting off their ensuing conversation about running, human strength and the lack thereof, and of the events that led Ryo to Akira’s hometown that day. Despite the promptness of Ryo’s unannounced return to Akira’s life and the dark tale he recounts to him, Akira doesn’t feel the fear or wariness that Ryo might have expected him, or any other human, to feel. Instead, he feels concern, then worry, but, through it all… unwavering trust.  
  
_He never doubted me for a second, did he…_ Ryo thought to himself. _Never questioned if I was leading him down the road to Hell…  
  
_When they reached the abandoned church, confusion slips into Akira’s mind, but he follows Ryo without question. Upon reaching the red doors, the point past which each of their lives changed forever, past-Ryo turned to Akira.  
  
“Sorry for dragging you into this.” Ryo looked down. “If possible, I wanted to find out the truth with you.” He looks up again, meeting Akira’s eyes. “But there’s a big risk that comes with it. You might get eaten by a devil, or end up pouring gasoline over your head, just like Fikira.”  
  
Akira begins to feel fear at last at Ryo’s words, but it’s quashed by the swelling trust that he feels for his friend. “Ryo, why me?”  
  
“I’m scared. I’m so terrified,” past-Ryo says, and even present-Ryo is surprised at the emotion he expressed. “This is a horrific legacy that Fikira left me. I must find out the truth. And I wanted to tell you before anyone else, as soon as I could.”  
  
Ryo reached out to clasp Akira’s shoulders, Akira’s eyes widening in surprise.  
  
“You’re the only one I can trust,” past-Ryo said, staring straight into Akira’s eyes. “I need your help. We’re gonna tell everyone the truth. When we go back alive, everyone will thank us.”  
  
How naive Ryo had been, before he had remembered everything.  
  
_He trusts me this much?_ Akira thought to himself, before smiling back at Ryo. “Okay,” he nodded. “I trust you, Ryo.”  
  
“Thanks, Akira,” past-Ryo said with relief, as he pulled Akira into a tender embrace. The feeling of his closeness relaxed Akira, despite the situation that awaited them.  
  
Ryo pulled away after a moment, leaving Akira missing his warmth. “Let’s go,” Ryo said. “There’s no going back.”  
  
Akira felt grounded by Ryo’s hand on his shoulder as he lifts his cell phone to the door.  
  
“We’re going to prove devils exist!”  
  
As the door opened, Akira was momentarily blinded by flashing lights of various colors, and loud, thumping music barraged his ears and vibrated in his whole body. Once his vision cleared, he almost wished he were blinded again — his eyes were violently met with the sight of writhing bodies, most of them nude, and many of them either caught up in dancing, drinking, taking drugs, or having sex in various positions. He thinks there’s someone doing acrobatic dances on a trapeze above them, but he’s too distracted by the others and too dizzied by the flashing lights to be sure.  
  
_What_ is _this place?_ Akira wonders to himself.  
  
As he’s gaping at the surroundings, Ryo leads him onward into the crowd.  
  
“Here you go.” Akira looked toward the voice, and found a perky girl had approached them. What he couldn’t ignore though, were her perky _breasts_ , which were completely exposed. He had difficulty keeping his eyes on her face, unable to respond to her question that he barely heard nor understood. He met her gaze, and he reddened instantly, knowing he’d been caught staring. She didn’t seem to mind it though — she grabbed one of the pill packets she had offered him, places a pill on her tongue…and swiftly pulled Akira in for a kiss, slipping her tongue in and depositing the pill inside his mouth.  
  
Akira, alarmed and caught off-guard, inadvertently swallowed it in one gulp.  
  
_Drugs?? Drugs?!?  
  
_Akira panicked, trying to wipe the bitter taste from his tongue to little avail as the girl laughed.  
  
“Is he a first-timer?” he heard her ask Ryo.  
  
“Yeah, he just got dumped by his girl,” Ryo offered.  
  
“He’s cute. Hope to bump into you later,” she cooed, turning back to Akira and giving him a flirtatious look and stroke of her hand, Akira reflexively flinching as her fingers ghosted over his rear.  
  
Ryo waved him over, Akira quickly taking the cue and following him like a lost puppy.  
  
_I don’t know what I just took,_ he thought anxiously, _and I don’t know where I am… I have to stick with Ryo.  
  
_Ryo lead him to a sitting area against the wall, he having grabbed a glass bottle of some kind of alcohol along the way. Ryo sat down casually, and Akira followed suit, sitting right next to him.  
  
He stared out at the spectacle before them, and in moments was at the edge of his seat, gaping at the nearly-naked woman currently doing an erotic dance on the floor immediately in front of their seat.  
  
“It’s Sabbath, the latest popular party,” Ryo said, and Akira looked over to him, his friend looking completely unfazed.  
  
_Sabbath?!  
  
_“What? Are we going to summon the devil?”  
  
Ryo lolled his head in Akira’s direction; Akira moved in closer for him to speak into his ear.  
  
“I know the Sabbath party is where people get possessed by devils,” he said. “But the devil won’t come to a fake scene like this.” Ryo looked out at the party again, a dissatisfied frown on his face.  
  
Akira stared at him curiously, as Ryo takes a deep swig of the alcohol, emptying the bottle…  
  
...then breaking it in half on the seat.  
  
He watched Ryo step slowly away. “Ryo,” he said, unsure what to do. He felt something bump his leg, and he turned to find two women in the throes of intercourse have taken the seat beside him. He groaned and closed his eyes, hoping that Ryo will come back soon.  
  
_He didn’t even think about what I was doing with that bottle…?_ present-Ryo thought. _Maybe he was too distracted, but…  
  
_The relative peace didn’t last long, as a woman’s scream reached Akira’s ears. He looked up, and his stomach fell.  
  
A woman on the dance floor had been given a deep gash across her chest, Ryo standing nearby, his coat and the broken bottle in his hand covered with blood. “Demons love blood,” Ryo said wickedly, watching the woman bleed.  
  
Akira stared in shock as he watched Ryo begin to attack the other partygoers with the broken bottle. “Ryo?”  
  
More people begin to shout as Ryo continued his attacks. “Ryo!” Akira said, standing up but tripping over the leg of one of the women beside him.  
  
He quickly righted himself, and thoughtlessly ran toward Ryo as fast as he could, his pulse pounding in his ears along with the music.  
  
He caught up to Ryo and didn’t hesitate to grab him from behind, restraining his arms. “Stop! Ryo, stop it!” he yelled, pulling him back with all his strength.  
  
“They’re all scum anyway. There’s no need to be sad,” Ryo replied, wriggling in his hold and flailing the broken bottle he still held in the air.  
  
_They’re still people though,_ Akira thought. _Hurting people is wrong, Ryo!  
  
_Before he could voice his thoughts, a male partygoer rushed up to them, baseball bat in hand. “You’re scum, too!” he exclaimed before dealing Ryo’s face a merciless blow. Akira looked down to check on him just as Ryo’s nose begins to gush blood. “Ryo!” he yelled, as other partygoers rush them.  
  
“You too!” one said, pulling him off of Ryo, then proceeding to beat and throw things at him. A kick sends him hurtling in the direction of the girl he had met earlier… right into her chest.  
  
“You wanna touch my boobs?” she said playfully, which made Akira, his face currently nestled between her breasts, briefly want to die. _In another situation, maybe!  
  
_He pushed himself off of her, but both his hands land squarely on her breasts.  
  
_Can this get any worse?_ Akira thought miserably.  
  
“Look behind you!” she said, and Akira whirled just in time for the baseball bat-wielding man to clock him hard upside the head, Akira seeing stars as he crumpled to the floor.  
  
Lying there listlessly, Akira heard the girl laugh, then stop abruptly. Soon, he hears strange noises… and screams.  
  
Akira rolled over, and when he opened his eyes, they soon widen.  
  
He’s met with an otherworldly, horrifying sight — human beings morphing into enormous, grotesque monsters, those monsters then tearing apart and eating countless people. Blood and viscera are strewn everywhere his eyes could see.  
  
Akira got to his feet as fast as he could, but terror kept him planted in place, staring in shock at the carnage before him.  
  
_These… these are demons!_ Akira thought.  
  
Then he screamed.  
  
_This is when he got possessed, right?_ present-Ryo thought. _He’s losing his reason.  
  
_But he doesn’t.  
  
He heard gunfire. _Ryo. That’s Ryo! He’s still alive!  
  
_He ran at breakneck speed, toward where he had heard the gunfire. _Where are you? We have to get out of here!  
  
_He spotted Ryo… pinned underneath an enormous feathery demon. With a giant snake-like one slithering toward him, about to open its great maw.  
  
_“Ryo!”  
  
_Akira’s thoughts disappeared, a potent mixture of fear and dread taking their place as he ran toward Ryo. No longer fear of demons; what drove his feet forward was…  
  
_...fear of losing me,_ Ryo realized.  
  
His vision beginning to blur from tears, Akira ran onward regardless. But his steps seemed to slow, as reality warped around him.  
  
_This is-!  
  
_Moments later, Ryo’s suspicions were confirmed, as the Emulator’s projection shifted jarringly — shades of red were all he could see now, but he could make out the snake-like demon’s face before Akira now, and he could feel Akira’s hands holding its jaw in place as he caught his breath, felt his heart pounding.  
  
_Made it,_ Akira’s thoughts broke through, ragged and rough but human all the same. _I won’t let you die, Ryo. even if I have to become a demon-!_ ** _  
  
_**With a great yell Akira summoned a newfound strength, tearing the demon before him in half, slamming the top half of it to the floor with a wet heavy _slap.  
  
_**_My show now,_** Akira thought in an inner voice that didn’t sound entirely his own — Amon.  
  
With that, Akira’s physical form shifted and transformed…  
  
...he was now Devilman.  
  
_Emulation end.  
  
_Ryo groaned in frustration and disappointment. “You’re ending it _there?”  
  
_He felt the helmet being taken off of his head, his vision filled with the clean space and Michael again. Michael’s brows were knit, but he seemed to be relieved by Ryo’s reaction. “It was all the information you needed. No need for a gory horror show.”  
  
“Like it wasn’t gory enough already,” Ryo quipped.  
  
“That couldn’t be avoided,” Michael said with a small sigh. “Anyway. Tell me what you learned.”  
  
Ryo looked down. “Akira became a devilman… because of me. Not just because I led him there, but because I was there…”  
  
“Akira’s feelings for you were what led him to lose his reason when you were in danger, leaving him open to demonic possession,” Michael added. “And, quite possibly… it was those feelings for you that helped him hold onto his will, helped his heart win out over the demon’s power.”  
  
Ryo softly gasped.  
  
“It was me… it was all me… I dragged him to Hell… but he went along with it, because he cared about _me_ …”  
  
“He always cared about you, even when you were horrible,” Michael said bluntly. “He would forgive you almost anything, then.”  
  
Ryo knew this, knew that Akira had always cared about him even when no one else would. It’s why he wanted him alone to be with him after the world ended. But to feel how deep Akira’s feelings for him went, made an awful realization come to him.  
  
“For him to be this angry with me now, then…” Ryo crumbled, tears beginning to fall from his eyes again. “What have I done…”  
  
Michael didn’t answer.  
  
Ryo put his head down, suddenly overcome by sobs.  
  
He let out a frustrated groan, clutching at his chest. _“What can I do now?_ This feeling’s driving me crazy,” he hiccuped. “It won’t go away!”  
  
Michael smiled. “You’re feeling guilt. This worked better than I thought it would.”  
  
“I hope you’re very proud of yourself,” Ryo said sarcastically, glaring up at him with teary eyes.  
  
“It’s unbecoming for an angel to feel pride,” Michael said stuffily, “but yes, I am.”  
  
Ryo groaned again, putting his head back down.  
  
“Anyway, I suggest that now is the time for contemplation.”  
  
“Contemplation? _Contemplation?!”_ Ryo spat. “How much longer are you going to torture me?!”  
  
Michael frowned, his lips forming a straight line. “ _I_ am not torturing you. You’d know it if I were. You are being tortured by your own actions. There would be no need for any of this if you had not done what you did. But I digress.” He crossed his arms. “You are not ready to face Akira as you are now. Your emotions are too volatile. You cannot even put what you’re feeling into words. Am I wrong?”  
  
Ryo stared at Michael for a moment, then looked down, unable to form a response.  
  
“I thought so.”  
  
Ryo frowned. “...What do I do, then?”  
  
“Just as I said. Contemplate. Think about what you just experienced, what you learned from it, how it made and makes you feel. Reconcile it within yourself, and decide what you will do next.”  
  
Ryo looked at him. “What are you going to do?”  
  
“I cannot help you with this step,” Michael said, shaking his head. “It is for you alone to reconcile within your own soul. However… you may speak with the One Who created you, if you need help.”  
  
Ryo leered at him. “...Are you suggesting prayer again?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Ryo gave an aggravated sigh. “Again I say, what’s the point of that? Isn’t _God_ everywhere? Can’t I just go and speak with Him in person? Why would He listen to me anyway?”  
  
Michael shook his head again. “God is willing to listen to anyone, anytime, so long as they approach Him with an earnest and humble heart. And prayer is a direct, private connection between one and the Divine, from anywhere. He would be glad to hear from you.”  
  
Ryo barely caught his impulse to roll his eyes.  
  
Michael let out a small sigh. “...Prayer also has a value of its own. It is a meditation — it calms the body, focuses the mind, and taps into the heart. You may not have the answer delivered to you from on high, but, by quieting your mind and focusing your spirit, you may be able to hear the still, small voice inside you — your true essence, your very soul. That voice can tell you what is right.”  
  
Ryo paused, contemplating. “...So, it’s still optional, right?”  
  
Michael sighed softly through his nose. “If you feel that you can handle this without it, yes. But don’t discount the value of speaking with someone who knows your soul better than you do. Keep it in mind.” He turned. “I’ll leave you alone, now.”  
  
Ryo looked up. “Huh?”  
  
“Well, not entirely alone, I will still keep watch of you, but I’ll try to give you your privacy.”  
  
“Don’t we have to leave this room?” Ryo said, casting his gaze about the small space.  
  
“Not right now, no. There are plenty of other rooms, and we’re booked for this one for as long as needed. We can leave whenever we want.”  
  
“...So I can leave?”  
  
“Not without me.”  
  
Ryo let out a beleaguered sigh. “...Fine. See you later.”  
  
Looking back with a doubtful expression, Michael vanished from sight.  
  
Ryo stared at the spot he had been for a moment, then he looked down at the floor. He let out a shuddering sigh, ran a hand through his hair.  
  
He closed his eyes, and focused inward; his mind and chest were swarming with emotions now, one blending into the next, making it difficult for him to separate them for examination.  
  
Gritting his teeth, he remembered the advice Michael had once given him, about analyzing his emotions:  
  
_Think. Feel. Allow yourself_ to _feel, and examine those emotions.  
  
__Allow myself to feel…_ Ryo thought, and wondered if part of the pain he felt was from him impulsively trying to contain and control the feelings he had. He took a deep breath, tilted his head back, leaning against the couch, and thought back over what he had seen in his Emulations, what he had learned.  
  
He recalled what Akira had been like before his demonic possession, gentle and kind, his feelings toward Ryo so pure and trusting. Ryo couldn’t help but smile at the memory.  
  
When he then remembered the joyous feeling that Akira had first had when he saw Ryo appear on the worldwide broadcast, Ryo flinched.  
  
His mind was unmerciful, and immediately skipped to the moment Akira had discovered Miki’s fate; he clutched his chest, and choked out a sob, tears beginning to stream down the sides of his face into his ears.  
  
He suddenly had a name for another emotion he was feeling:  
  
Self-loathing.  
  
_This is why humans partake in vices,_ he thought bitterly. He didn’t want to feel this. He didn’t want to go through any of this — he just wanted the answer already. He wanted Akira back.  
  
He shook his head. _What’s wrong with me?! I made some errors, but what I did what I thought was logical! Then why-!  
  
_He thought back to Akira, how Akira had felt then — his broken, betrayed heart.  
  
Ryo lowered his head, new tears flowing down his face.  
  
He regretted hurting Akira.  
  
He himself had made Akira feel that way. Had betrayed him, broken his heart, gotten his loved ones killed in the worst ways.  
  
Akira, the one who had always shown him compassion, had only been given pain in return.  
  
And for what did Ryo do that? Some inflated sense of superiority he and the demons felt over humanity and God?  
  
What if he had been wrong about humanity all along?  
  
He clenched his fist, and let out a yell, the sound echoing in the stillness.  
  
His emotions overwhelmed his heart again, and constricted his breath. On top of everything else, another emotion rose up from him, compressing the others down painfully.  
  
Loneliness.  
  
That moment on that rock, where he was overwhelmed by emotion and had no one left to express it to, to explain it to him, seemed to return. His research in the library had filled his mind, but in this moment he couldn’t use any of it. Though he knew Michael was present, somewhere, he felt completely, utterly alone.  
  
“Akira…” he whispered. “I wish you were here…”  
  
He took a breath, tried to settle himself. He could not leave this room, he knew. He was essentially being forced into contemplation by Michael — whether this was a gesture of discipline or of caring, he wasn’t sure. He likely wouldn’t reappear until Ryo was ‘ready’ — whenever that was.  
  
He didn’t want to talk to Michael, either. He had talked to him enough, and he wore on Ryo’s nerves when he did. Though they were both angels, they couldn’t have any less in common now. He desperately wanted to see Akira, but he knew he wouldn’t make an ounce of sense to him as he was now. Akira wanted an apology — the books Ryo had studied said that the best apology is one where the person making it has fully comprehended their wrongdoing, and their responsibility for it. Ryo couldn’t provide that, not with his mind and heart a mess.  
  
Slowly, he looked upward.  
  
_...I guess it’s worth a shot.  
  
_He clasped his hands together, intertwining his fingers, and stared up at the ceiling.  
  
“That is not the proper posture for prayer,” Michael interrupted, reappearing. Ryo jumped, before furrowing his brow at him.  
  
“I don’t give a sh-”  
  
Michael threw him a powerful glare.  
  
“...shingle,” Ryo said flatly. He pouted then. “Why can Akira curse but I can’t?”  
  
“Akira didn’t trigger the Apocalypse.”  
  
Ryo sighed irritably. “Fine then. I suppose that’s part of my punishment? Did God specify that?”  
  
Michael looked away then. “...Actually, it’s my own decision. God would agree with it, though. Probably.”  
  
Ryo raised an eyebrow. “Taking liberties, are you?”  
  
Michael seemed conflicted, his lips forming a line. He didn’t meet Ryo’s eyes. “Well… I feel like you should be receiving _some_ sort of punishment, and this feels like enough. At least, for now.”  
  
“Alright then,” Ryo said, letting that slide for now. “So how _should_ I pray, God’s chosen boy?”  
  
Michael frowned again. “Bow your head, close your eyes. It is best for attaining a meditative state.”  
  
“Noted.”  
  
“Pardon my interruption,” Michael said curtly, before disappearing again.  
  
_He’s become so strange,_ Ryo thought to himself. _What’s his angle?  
  
_He shook his head. That didn’t matter right now.  
  
He sighed once more, and reluctantly did as told — bowing his head and closing his eyes.  
  
His chest fluttered. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done this, if ever. He had long forgotten every prayer he might have known.  
  
He abandoned that notion — he would simply talk to God in his own words, like he had before. Let come what may.  
  
_I can’t believe I’m doing this…_ he thought to himself, feeling something akin to embarrassment and nerves.  
  
He took a deep breath and focused, trying to push those unnecessary thoughts to the back of his mind. For a moment he just breathed, focusing on his breath and heartbeat as he worked up the nerve to begin.  
  
_Hello, God. It’s me. Well, You know that. You must be surprised to hear from me.  
  
_He paused, letting out his breath through his nose. He felt the sting of tears at his eyes again. Getting no response, he continued.  
  
_...What do I do now?  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometime after I wrote Ryo's first Emulator scene and him coming out of it, [I ran across this clip from the TV series Community that summed it up eerily well.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAYjkpJfiWM)


	6. If You Were Church...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can blame Kingdom Hearts 3 for this update being a bit late ^^' (I've been playing it daily since I got it~)  
> But don't worry! I'll still keep updating this story regardless!!
> 
> And, yep! I managed to keep this at 10 chapters (for now). Ahh, even numbers.
> 
> [Here's the title song for this chapter.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdQtJiDXmMw)

“Your father always wanted to go to this cathedral,” Akiko, Miki’s mother, said with a smile. “Who would’ve thought we’d get a second chance to?”  
  
Noel, Miki’s father, walked ahead of them eagerly, a wide smile on his face. Ahead of the family lay a towering cathedral, impressive in its architecture.  
  
Akira leaned over to whisper to Miki. “What’s this place called, again?”  
  
“St. Patrick’s Cathedral,” Miki whispered back. “My Dad always wanted to visit New York City and see this in person.” She looked up at the church and smiled. “It’s even more beautiful here than in the photos I’ve seen.”  
  
“I’ve never been in a church before,” Miko remarked, following Miki’s gaze as she walked beside her. She smirked. “Hope it doesn’t burst into flames as soon as I walk through the door.”  
  
Miki giggled. “It won’t, I promise!” She took Miko’s hand in hers, swinging it playfully. “Everyone’s welcome here.”  
  
“ _Akira,_ fix your hair,” Kaori, Akira’s mother, fussed, reaching up to smooth down Akira’s locks. “You look like a wild beast!”  
  
_“Mom,”_ he whined, but with a laugh.  
  
After taming Akira’s hair somewhat, she took a long look at her son and smiled. She cradled his face in her hands. “I’m so proud of you.”  
  
Akira smiled back, placed his hand atop hers. “Mom…”  
  
“I’m so sorry for not spending enough time with you when you were growing up. I regret it so much… and, if your father were here, I bet he would say the same thing.”  
  
Akira looked down. “I wish he were here, too…”  
  
Kaori gave a pained smile. “Well, all we can do is make up for lost time!” she said, brightening.  
  
Akira brightened too, hugging her. “Yeah. I love you, Mom.”  
  
“You too,” Kaori replied, hugging him back warmly.  
  
“C’mon, you guys!” Taro exclaimed. “We’re going in the church now!”  
  
“Settle down, Taro,” Akiko said, ruffling her son’s hair fondly. “There’s no rush.”  
  
“We’re coming,” Akira called back. His heart lifted at the sight of the Makimura family, happy and together again. He wished his own family were complete as well… but he was content to have this much. Thankful.  
  
Akira and the others entered the cathedral, their necks craning upward to take in the elaborate interior - its high, embellished ceiling held up by thick pillars, its windows of intricately-designed stained glass, all pleasantly lit by candles and electric lights.  
  
They took their seats, Miki sitting next to her brother and her parents, who sat next to Akira’s mother. Miko took the space next to her, Akira sliding in beside her.  
  
Miko looked over to him. “You new to this, too?”  
  
“Ahh, I’ve been to church a few times actually, with Miki and her family,” Akira answered, feeling awkward. “Never any place this fancy, though.”  
  
“It’s kind of overwhelming,” Miko admitted, looking upward at the rafters.  
  
“It’s okay,” Miki said brightly, reaching over to hold Miko’s hand. “Just relax. This is a good place.”  
  
Akira sighed softly, taking Miki’s advice and letting himself relax. He listened to his mother speaking with Akiko and Noel in a lilting voice, which lifted his spirits.  
  
The reverend walked in then, a dark-skinned woman, her robes swaying with her buoyant footsteps. The congregation fell silent, waiting for her to speak.  
  
She arrived at the pulpit, looked out over the congregants, and smiled. “Well hello everyone! And welcome. I see a lot of new faces here today! I thank you so much for coming here, even if you’re just here for the scenery.” A few of the congregants laughed.  
  
“If you’re new here, wandered in, or, heck, just got to Heaven, you might be wondering to yourself, ‘why are there churches in Heaven? Isn’t God closer here? Isn’t God everywhere?’ Well, you know, I asked myself just the same thing.  
  
“You see, on Earth I ran a church too — not as fancy as this one, but it was somethin’ all the same. We were like family, and we took care of each other. One day, demons attacked my church… my whole congregation was lost, and me with them,” she said, voice somber.  
  
Akira’s heart ached for her, and he felt anger toward the demons that had done that — if he could have stopped them, he would have.  
  
“Anyway,” the reverend sighed wistfully, her smile returning, “when I arrived here, God took me aside, and told me that if I wished to, I could lead worship services at any house of worship here I wanted. And you know what I said?” She paused for effect. _“‘They got churches in Heaven?!’”  
  
_The congregation laughed louder at that. Akira smiled. He liked this reverend.  
  
She was smiling too. “And yes, they do. Not just churches, either — synagogues, mosques, temples, shrines, you name it. If it’s holy it’s here. And I tell you, I was so confused. So I said, ‘Lord, I mean no disrespect, but why?’  
  
“You know what God said? ‘There will always be a need for holy places. Places where people can gather and worship together, have their souls joined as one.’ Of course, that, and we can’t be worshippin’ all the time! We’re human, we got things to do!”  
  
The congregants laughed again.  
  
“This ain’t like those cartoons where everyone’s just singin’ and playing harps. There’s _so_ much more to Heaven than that. So there’s gotta be a time and place for everything.”  
  
She leaned forward. “And here’s what blew my mind — God told me that all these houses of worship are here because no matter our faith on Earth, or here, _we are all worshipping the same God._ The same creative force, the same essense of good.” She smiled. “And isn’t that a relief?! How many of us worried in life if we were praying to the right God or in the right way or not? Whew.  
  
“...That’s also another way of saying that if my service doesn’t feel right for you, I won’t be hurt if you don’t come back here next week. Heck, _I_ might try out a different service by next week! I’ve changed it up seven times by now!” The audience laughed again.  
  
“Anyway! I’ve rambled on long enough. Let us begin with a prayer…”  
  
The service began, and they went through its motions — Miko holding back a laugh as Akira stumbled in the pew during the first prayer, and Akira couldn’t help but cringe at his own voice as he tried to sing with the rest — and though he found it to be a pleasant service, Akira’s mind began to wander.  
  
Miki seemed to sense Akira’s unease. She leaned over Miko. “You know,” she whispered, “you don’t just have to pray how they tell you to here. You can pray in any way you want — for whomever you want to.”  
  
Akira picked up on Miki’s hint. He smiled at her. “Thank you. I think I will.”  
  
She smiled in return and leaned back. Akira looked upward, staring at the large cross sculpture as he contemplated. Then he bowed his head, hoping no one would mind his divergence.  
  
_Hey, God, it’s me again.  
  
_He paused, wondering if he’d receive a reply.  
  
_...I guess this is gonna work the same way it does on Earth, huh. Oh well.  
  
_He thought.  
  
_I just want to pray for my Dad… that he’ll find his way here someday soon. Let him know that we miss him, and help him find his way back...  
  
_Akira tried his best to hold back his tears.  
  
_Help the other souls who are lost too… like Koda’s…  
  
_Just then, the word ‘devilman’ caught in his ear, followed by a nudge from Miko.  
  
“Huh?” Akira said, lifting his head. He looked to the pulpit, where the reverend was giving her sermon. He heard hushed whispers among the congregation around them.  
  
“-No doubt you have heard of them by now. And perhaps you’ve asked yourself, why did God choose to save these men and women through Christ, even though many of them sought possession in the first place?”  
  
_Not me,_ Akira thought with a tinge of bitterness. He glanced over at Miko, who wore an expression of unease.  
  
The reverend stepped away from the pulpit to walk across the stage, addressing the congregants. “Well, let us not forget, Christ’s sacrifice was for each and every one of us, to cleanse away our sins. And though seeking to become possessed by a devil is a dire sin, these devilmen were not overcome. They held onto their human hearts and souls, refusing to fall into the demons’ darkness. Indeed, devilmen triumphed over darkness, and proved themselves to be the very best example of humanity, proving the strength of God’s creation,” she said with conviction.  
  
She walked back across the stage. “You see, God knew it would be wrong to punish these strong, righteous souls, so He gave them a second chance at salvation, if they chose to accept it. And, many of them did.” She reached her pulpit, and outstretched her arms. “If there are any such souls present here today, please stand up!”  
  
Akira froze, casting his gaze about the congregation. He found others hesitating as well, until one stood up, followed by another, then another. Miko was apprehensive, but one encouraging smile from Miki had her slowly rising to her feet, her right hand latching onto Akira’s arm to tug him upward with her.  
  
Standing fully, Akira rubbed at his neck, his heart pounding as he looked around, and found that more than a dozen people in the church had stood up. Even a few members of the choir. He breathed out a relieved sigh. He looked to his own pew, and saw Taro looking back at him, before deciding to stand up as well, with wobbling legs. Akira looked to his mother then, who was smiling up at him with nothing but pride and love.  
  
The reverend smiled at them warmly. “We applaud you, and your courage. To the rest of you, if it ever crosses your mind to think less of these brave souls, think twice. Have not we all had demons of our own to overcome in life, metaphorical or otherwise? What matters is not whether or not we had those demons, or sought them out, but what we did once we had them. Salvation is never a lost cause, so long as you seek it, and, at the very least, always bend toward the Light. God’s love is limitless, and so we should emulate that.” She nodded to the former devilmen. “You may be seated now.”  
  
Akira and Miko sat down again, both letting out sighs of relief. He caught Miki whispering, _“See? I told you this is a good place,”_ before he refocused again on his prayer, tuning out the sermon.  
  
_Where was I? Uh…  
  
_He couldn’t help but think of one person.  
  
_Oh.  
  
_He grimaced, his feelings still in a tangle about him. But, as always, he let his heart lead the way.  
  
_This is probably going to sound strange… well, it feels strange to me, at least. I mean, praying for Satan?  
  
_He cringed.  
  
_But… he’s my friend, too. And You gave him a second chance… just to see me. If You can give him a chance, then I want to, too… but, I don’t want him to hurt me, or anyone else, ever again.  
  
_He winced, dreading the thought of it. If Ryo could do what he did to Earth, then what could he do to Heaven?  
  
Akira shut down that train of thought. _God… please guide him, and keep him from doing harm. Help him realize what he did wrong, and learn how to be a better person. I know he did a lot of horrible things, but… I still care about him. I want to give him another chance.  
  
_He sighed wistfully.  
  
_I guess that’s gonna take more time, huh. Well… when he’s ready, help him find me. I’ll be waiting for him. For… Ryo.  
  
_Akira finished his prayer, and shortly after, the church service ended. The patrons filed out of the church at an unhurried pace, talking amongst themselves.  
  
Akira ruffled at his hair absentmindedly, walking alongside his mother. “I don’t know how much you know, but, uh…”  
  
“I know everything,” Kaori said simply.  
  
Akira gave a start. “Huh?? You do?”  
  
She nodded. “I didn’t know right away, of course. When I got here, my memory was pretty fuzzy, and I was put in rehabilitation for a while. They let me out just in time to see you, and when I saw you, and Ryo, I had to find out what happened. So I went to the Hall of Records, and found everything out there.”  
  
Akira looked down. “So… you know what happened to Dad…”  
  
“Mm,” she nodded again. “I know that you tried to save him, too,” she said with a wistful smile. “And me. Even though you were possessed by a devil, you still tried your best to save everyone. That’s why I’m proud of you.” She cradled his face again. “Your father would be proud of you, too.”  
  
“Really?” Akira said, though he had no doubt.  
  
Kaori smiled, her eyes crinkling. “You grew up to help people. That’s all we ever wanted for you.”  
  
Akira pulled her into a hug. Then he paused. “Wait. You know about Ryo, too?”  
  
“Mm,” she replied.  
  
He pulled back. “W-wait, aren’t you shocked? Scared? Angry?”  
  
“Well…”  
  
“Akira!”  
  
Akira swore he felt his heart stop. His mother fell silent.  
  
He whirled around, his eyes searching the crowd. Almost instantly they fell upon a speck of white, drawing nearer.  
  
Wordlessly, he followed the voice’s origin.  
  
_That was fast,_ he remarked to himself.  
  
The other person approached him at the same brisk speed, his blond hair quickly coming into view.  
  
Steps away from the cathedral’s stairs, [they met.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVZUBMUekck)  
  
Akira looked up, meeting Ryo’s blue eyes.  
  
His heart beat faster than he thought it would.  
  
“Ryo.”  
  
Ryo stared back at him, his usual cool composure seeming more fragile than before.  
  
“Akira,” he said again, seeming to savor every syllable. He let out a soft sigh. “Can you meet me somewhere?”  
  
Akira paused. Then he clenched his fist.  
  
“No,” he said firmly. “If you have something to tell me, do it here. In front of my family and friends. They should hear it, too.”  
  
Ryo’s expression fell, his composure cracking at the edges. He looked around them, at onlookers familiar and not. He shook his head, and looked back at Akira, not taking his eyes off of him.  
  
He reached for Akira’s hand, and clasped it in his own.  
  
“Akira, I… I…”  
  
His eyes lost focus, as his other hand came to hold Akira’s.  
  
His legs buckled.  
  
As though in slow-motion, he collapsed, falling to his knees, still holding Akira’s hand tightly.  
  
He did not lift his head. He squeezed Akira’s hand.  
  
“Akira…” his voice wavered. “I… I’m sorry.”  
  
He swore he saw a tear fall from Ryo’s eyes to the pavement below.  
  
Akira froze.  
  
He didn’t know how to process the sight in front of him. It was as though a unicorn had trotted up to him and offered him a ride. Except this was even more unbelievable.  
  
Ryo had _apologized._ On his _knees.  
  
_He wouldn’t believe it at all, if it weren’t for Ryo’s hands holding one of his own tightly, as though he were the only thing tying him here.  
  
Akira’s mouth moved wordlessly for a moment, before he got his thoughts in order. “...What are you sorry for?” he asked softly. He held back his own tears; he didn’t want to be fooled by Ryo again.  
  
He heard Ryo sniff. “...For betraying you. For… causing the suffering of the people you care about. For… for killing you!”  
  
His voice cracked, and the gathered crowd fell silent, observing them. Ryo took in a ragged breath through gritted teeth.  
  
“I… I took you for granted, Akira. I never thought I would lose you. But I… I didn’t think about _you_ at all. I only thought about myself, what _I_ wanted, and my goals… and I hurt you. You, the only one who ever cared about me. And what did I do in return?!” he seethed.  
  
“Ryo…”  
  
Ryo lifted his head, looking up at Akira, tears clinging to his pale lashes. “Akira… you’re the most important thing to me. And I didn’t realize it until it was too late to save you. I would do anything... if you would give me a second chance. I won’t make the same mistake. If you don’t want anything to do with me, ever again…” He looked down. “I’ll understand. You’ll never have to see me again. I’ll make sure of that.”  
  
The silence that followed was heavy, Ryo’s last sentence having carried a darkened edge. Akira stared down at him, observing the slight tremble in his body, his flaxen hair hiding his eyes.  
  
He tugged at the hand that Ryo held, gently pulling him upward to face him.  
  
Ryo got to his feet and stared at Akira questioningly, blinking once, then twice. His face had a slight pink hue to it.  
  
_Pretty,_ Akira found himself thinking, before stifling the thought in confusion.  
  
In one fluid motion, he pulled his hand free, [then pulled Ryo into a tight embrace.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXPP8QWjuBU)  
  
Ryo froze at first, before he wrapped his arms around Akira, clutching at his back as though his life depended on it.  
  
Akira let his tears fall, and he heard applause rise up from the small crowd that had gathered around them. The last time he had hugged Ryo like this, tender and warm, their bodies flush against one another… it felt like a lifetime ago.  
  
“Akira…” Ryo said, his voice heavy with emotion. “Never leave me again…”  
  
Akira lifted his head, spoke into Ryo’s ear with a smile. “I don’t plan on it.”  
  
After a moment, Akira pulled back, and held Ryo by the shoulders, forcing him to look him in the eyes.  
  
Ryo was hesitant. “You’ll really give me another chance?”  
  
Akira nodded. “Yeah. Just one condition.”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
Akira smiled brilliantly. “Join us. Join my family.”  
  
Ryo went slack-jawed. He cast his gaze about, looked up at the church’s steeple. “...I’m not going in that church.”  
  
Akira laughed. “Not that. The service is over, anyway. I mean… hang out with us. Get to know my family and friends. We can do all the stuff I thought we’d do when we met up again...” Akira said, ruffling his hair absentmindedly. _Why do I feel so awkward all of a sudden? He’s just my friend.  
  
_“Oh…” Ryo mouthed, clearly stunned by this turn of events. “Would… they mind?”  
  
“As long as you behave yourself,” Akira said, flashing Ryo a brief look of warning. “Wait, hold on,” he said, letting go of Ryo and jogging back to his mother, who had stood in place and observed them with everyone else present. In a second he came back, his mother in tow.  
  
“Mom… would you mind it if Ryo spent some time with us? I think… he understands now. I want to give him another chance. What do you think?”  
  
Kaori took an evaluating look at Ryo, up and down, then into his eyes. Then she nodded.  
  
“Alright. If you think he deserves a second chance, I’ll trust you,” she said to Akira. She turned back to Ryo. “I can trust you with my boy, right?” she said, a subtle threat behind her smile.  
  
Ryo seemed to swallow, before he nodded. “Yes, Mrs. Fudo.”  
  
Kaori seemed satisfied by that. Miki ran up to them, Miko just behind her. Miki turned to Akira with a concerned frown. “Akira, are you sure about this?” Miko was silent, but subtly glared at Ryo from where she stood.  
  
Akira smiled at her. “Yeah. We can all keep an eye on him better this way, right?”  
  
Miki smiled back at him, lowered her voice to a whisper. “Just don’t let him rope you into anything you don’t want to do, alright?”  
  
“I won’t. I promise.”  
  
“Ah, Akira?” Ryo spoke up. Akira looked up, moving to Ryo’s side in seconds.  
  
Ryo leaned in to speak to him in a lowered voice. “I… would like some time alone first. To gather my thoughts. May I join you all... later?”  
  
Akira smiled jovially. “Yeah, sure! We need to figure out what we’re gonna do next anyway. Come find me when you’re ready!”  
  
Akira walked away with a wave; Ryo hesitated, then lifted his hand to wave back, a small smile on his face.  
  
Walking back to his family, Akira’s spirits were higher than they had been yet — he couldn’t keep the smile off his face.  
  
Not only because Ryo had apologized — when Akira held him tight, he knew right away:  
  
That he meant it.  


* * *

  
Walking away from the scene, Ryo let out a shuddering sigh.  
  
“Michael, take me someplace where I can be alone,” he muttered, knowing that Michael alone would hear him.  
  
In a flash he vanished from the spot.  
  
When he reappeared, the sound of roaring water met his ears. He found himself on a ledge of a cliff, lush with greenery, a cascade of water falling to his right. Other than the sound of the water, it was still. He was finally, mercifully alone.  
  
Ryo leaned back against the rock face, letting go of his composure and catching his breath. He placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heart fluttering furiously. It hadn’t gone this fast since-  
  
_An all-out battle. Devilman versus Satan, trading blow for blow. Satan’s battle instinct taking over-  
  
_Ryo shook his head, dispelling the unwanted flashback.  
  
“Has your heart grown three sizes?”  
  
Ryo looked up, finding Michael standing there, back to his usual golden appearance, a small smirk on his lips, clearly amused by his own joke.  
  
“Shut up, Michael,” Ryo said, though the retort was toothless even to his own ears. He turned away from him, though Michael, undeterred, moved to sit down next to him.  
  
“...What is this place, anyway?” Ryo asked him, regardless.  
  
“Angel Falls.”  
  
Ryo looked at him incredulously with a slanted smirk. “You can’t be serious.”  
  
Michael smiled again. “I was going to pick Victoria Falls, but I decided the cliff face of Angel Falls would best suit your current needs. It was notoriously difficult for humans to access on Earth, and even here in Heaven, not many come to this peak. Plus the roar of the flowing water should drown out our conversation. You should be safe here.”  
  
Ryo let out a small sigh of frustration. _This guy…  
  
_“You may take your true form here, if you want. Surely your wings must be cramped.”  
  
Ryo felt an itch at his back the moment Michael said it, and begrudgingly he admitted to himself that Michael was right; in an instant Ryo’s human form was gone, replaced by unfurled wings and bare skin.  
  
Ryo let out a relieved sigh. Now that he was aware that they were there, having his wings hidden left him with an subtle sense of discomfort. Perhaps that discomfort had been present all along, in his human life — he just hadn’t had a name for it. Maybe that had been the reason for his restlessness.  
  
He looked up at the waterfall, feeling his nerves easing as he stared at the endless flowing water.  
  
“You did very well,” Michael said, breaking the silence. “I think you got through to him.”  
  
“Well now what do I do?” Ryo said, looking at him. “He wants me to spend time with, with those other _humans!”_ he stammered.  
  
“What’s the problem with that?”  
  
“I wanted to speak with Akira _alone._ How am I supposed to do that when people like _Miki_ are around?”  
  
“You’re jealous, aren’t you? You want Akira all to yourself.”  
  
“...Yes, so?”  
  
Michael sighed. “Being God’s favorite skewed your perceptions. I see the effects of that carried on to this day.”  
  
“I don’t remember that very well, so you tell me,” Ryo replied, deadpan.  
  
Michael looked him in the eye. “God doesn’t truly _have_ favorites. He _favored_ you by giving you one of the highest positions in Heaven, but that is all. His love is infinite and equal, as is love itself.”  
  
“Your meaning?”  
  
“Akira’s love for others in no way lessens his love for you. There is no need for envy or possessiveness. From what I’ve seen, there’s enough love in that boy’s heart to cover all of Heaven and Earth.”  
  
Ryo wanted to contradict him, to say that Michael was wrong, but he quickly realized he couldn’t. “Tch,” he said, looking away.  
  
“Do not forget your tasks,” Michael reminded him. “To maintain peace, and to learn what love is. This will help you with both. Akira will grant you alone time eventually. Just be patient.”  
  
Ryo gave an aggravated sigh. He threw Michael a look. “Why are you so interested in _helping_ me, anyway? Aren’t you angry with me for destroying humanity and the Earth?”  
  
Michael looked back at him. “I am.”  
  
“Then why the… _heck,_ are you so invested in this?” Ryo said, correcting himself before Michael could. “I get the feeling that there’s more to this than just you sticking to your assignment from God.”  
  
Ryo didn’t drop his gaze, watching for Michael’s reaction. He held Ryo’s gaze for a moment, before his expression faltered, his eyes darting elsewhere. He let out a small sigh. “...Maybe I just miss my brother.”  
  
Ryo stared at him for a moment, mouth slightly agape. “...What.”  
  
Michael shifted, looking away. “You heard me.” Ryo could swear he saw Michael’s face pinken.  
  
Ryo processed this for a second, then scoffed. “Isn’t God enough?”  
  
“God is _always_ enough,” Michael said stuffily, “but that doesn’t stop me from missing you.”  
  
Ryo looked away, crossing his arms. “Well, you’ve got the other angels.”  
  
“They’re not you.”  
  
“You can’t be serious.”  
  
Michael looked at him, the tone of his voice severe. “We used to serve God side by side! Do you realize how your Fall affected me?”  
  
Ryo looked back at Michael, and was stunned into silence; there was more emotion on his face than he had ever seen before.  
  
“I had to take on all of your duties, _and_ I was tasked with fighting you, because I knew you best! What do you think that was like for me? I obeyed God always, but all along I hoped you would come to your senses and come home! God wanted that as well!”  
  
Ryo perked up. “Tell me about that. What do you know of God’s plan?”  
  
Michael huffed at being interrupted. “It’s as God told you. He wanted you to choose to come back home of your own accord. And He wanted a human to be the reason for that — it _had_ to be a human, He said. I trusted God, but after so long, I didn’t think it would happen… God left it up to chance. Left it up to you. And then, just as I thought I was going to battle you once more… you came home,” Michael’s eyes began to water. He shook his head. “I still didn’t want to believe it, to get my hopes up, after everything you’ve done…  but then I saw you changing, right before my eyes. It… it made me begin to hope that you could go back to how you once were. My brother… Samael...”  
  
Tears began to stream down his face, glinting in the light.  
  
_So that was it,_ Ryo thought to himself. His chest seemed to ache in solidarity with Michael’s tears. _Ugh. Empathy. Can’t turn it off now, I guess.  
  
_He turned away, not wanting to look at Michael’s sad face anymore. “...I’m sorry. I’m sure that was hard for you.”  
  
Michael took a breath, steadying himself. “Do you think… you could ever be Samael again?”  
  
Ryo knew what he was asking. He sighed, looking upward in thought. “Well... I’m not the angel I used to be. I don’t think I ever will be again.”  
  
Michael sighed wistfully, wiping his tears. He gave a wan smile. “I thought you would say that.”  
  
The sound of the waterfall filled the silence between the two angels.  
  
“...There’s still something that bothers me,” Ryo said, breaking the silence. “God used a human against me. Isn’t that just as bad as me using a human against God? It doesn’t seem fair to the human.”  
  
“Akira volunteered for it,” Michael replied simply.  
  
Ryo’s mouth went dry. “...What?”  
  
Michael sat up straighter. “Though God was certain in His plan, He had a difficult time deciding who would be the human who would be able to convince you to come back home. Not many were willing, and far fewer were able. Then, before Akira was called Akira, when his soul was fresh from a prior incarnation, he came to God and asked Him to put him where he was most needed on Earth. And so, he was selected.”  
  
Ryo paused, then began to laugh, the sound of it like bells.  
  
“You doubt my veracity?” Michael said with a frown.  
  
“No, it’s just,” Ryo gave a wistful sigh, then smiled. “That’s exactly what Akira would do.”  
  
Michael looked at him for a moment, scrutinizing. “You love him.”  
  
“Huh?” Ryo said, startled.  
  
“Akira doesn’t need to tell you that. It’s written all over your face,” Michael smiled, almost smug. “You love Akira Fudo.”  
  
Ryo hesitated, then looked away, not wanting to meet Michael’s eyes. He felt his face get pinker. “...And if I do?”  
  
“Well, all that matters then is how Akira feels about you. And you no longer upsetting him.”  
  
Ryo looked back at him in a flash, his head wings giving a flutter. “Do you think Akira loves me?”  
  
Michael blinked in surprise at first, then answered. “...It is possible. He cares about you, I know that for certain. He just hasn’t quite figured out love itself yet, I think.”  
  
Ryo sighed, leaning back. “So I guess we’re both learning that…”  
  
“Seems fitting.”  
  
Ryo thought for a moment, his head tilted back, looking upward at a sky of perfect light.  
  
Then he reached out a hand to Michael. Michael looked at it and him in confusion.  
  
Ryo smiled at him crookedly. “Will you be my wingman?”  
  
“Wing… man?” Michael’s wings shuddered.  
  
Ryo failed at holding back a small laugh. “I mean, back me up in this _love_ thing. Even if I don’t end up working by your side again.”  
  
Michael looked at him, then his offered hand. Then he grasped it, giving a smile that was just slightly bittersweet. “Isn’t that what I’ve been doing?”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting to mention this, but feel free to [follow me on twitter](https://twitter.com/DramaticalHeart) if you haven't already! I tweet there every time I update this fic~


	7. No Idea What I’m Doing Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!! I wanted to make sure I updated this today~
> 
> Not gonna lie, a lot of what goes on in the beginning of this chapter was greatly influenced by last year's winter Olympics ^^' I loved watching them. But at least it feels appropriate for this time of year too~
> 
> The chapter title is not me talking, lol - [it's a line from this song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgj5-vwkFwQ)   
> (Which I listened to a lot while writing this chapter, getting a feel for Ryo's general confusion about how to human but also his devotion to Akira - it's probably not the closest fit but it's got a mood, ya know?)
> 
> Thank you for reading, and enjoy~!

Travel in Heaven was a lot easier than it had been on Earth. One could go anyplace they desired, see anyone they wanted to — they just had to think it, will it so, and they were there.  
  
Ryo, however, did not have this luxury. Michael informed him that given his past indiscretions, his powers were limited, spectral travel off-limits for him entirely. Ryo wasn’t surprised by this — clearly it was to prevent Ryo from getting out of Michael’s sight. Circumventing it was easy — he just had to ask Michael to _take him_ wherever he wanted to go. That didn’t mean Ryo liked it, though. Especially since he didn’t want to let on to anyone else that he had an angelic chaperone.  
  
But, he would put up with it. Anything for Akira.  
  
And so, once they were ready to, he and Michael left Angel Falls together, in search of Akira.  
  
It did not take them long to find him — he and his family were at a _ski resort_ , of all places. Ryo — back in his altered human form — reached down, gathering a handful of the pure white snow on the ground. It did not melt in his grasp.  
  
 _Artificial? Infinite?_ Ryo wondered, gathering more of the cold, powdery substance and forming it into a ball. _How strange.  
  
_ “You gonna throw that, Ryo?”  
  
Ryo looked up, finding the source of the voice. Akira was smiling playfully at him. “Huh?”  
  
“That’s a nice one!” Akira jumped back. “C’mon, throw it at me!”  
  
Ryo stared uncomprehendingly at him at first, until memories of their childhood crept back into his consciousness. _Ah. Snowball fights.  
  
_ “...Alright,” he said, lobbing the snowball in Akira’s direction. As soon as it had left his hand, however, another came hurtling toward him, colliding with his face painlessly, the ball disintegrating immediately upon impact.  
  
Surprised and slightly stunned, Ryo shook his head, bits of snow flying from his hair. Blinking, he saw his own snowball’s aim had been true, snowflakes clinging to Akira’s hair and face, as he downright _giggled_ at the sight of the snow-pelted Ryo.  
  
Ryo felt a tugging sensation in his chest. _What is this?  
  
_ “I was hoping you would come here! C’mon, Ryo! Let’s play in the snow like when we were kids,” Akira grinned, before he set off down the hill toward where the rest of his family were gathered.  
  
Ryo felt as though his heart was being tugged along with him, pulling Ryo forward.  
  
 _Ah,_ he realized. _Longing.  
  
_ He followed Akira down the slope, finding him and his family in a snow-covered valley. They regarded Ryo with wariness, but acceptance (albeit reluctant). It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling to Ryo; many had regarded him the same way during his human life, so he didn’t mind it. As always, his eyes were only on Akira.  
  
He couldn’t help but witness the others, though. The Makimura parents playing in the snow with their son. Miki and Miko making an attempt at skiing but falling and laughing more than anything. The rapper boys preoccupied with building a snowman, of all things.  
  
Ryo followed Akira to a patch of their own, and Akira promptly dropped onto the ground. Ryo was startled, until a memory surfaced in his consciousness, and he promptly followed him to the ground.  
  
Akira moved his arms and legs with enthusiasm, grinning from ear to ear. “Remember when we did this, Ryo?” He picked up his head. “Ryo?”  
  
Ryo lifted his snow-covered head, he having been buried in the snow Akira had kicked up.  
  
Akira laughed, brushing the snow out of Ryo’s hair. “Sorry about that. You should try it, too!”  
  
“Don’t you think that’s a little… ironic?” Ryo said with a slight, slanted smile. “Me making a snow angel?”  
  
Akira paused, then looked away, brushing the snow out of his own hair. “Yeah, I guess you’re right…”  
  
Ryo looked down, thought it over.  
  
“...I suppose I could try.”  
  
Akira grinned again, and to Ryo that was worth making a crude angel caricature in the eternal snow for.  
  
Akira seemed pleased by his (underwhelmingly average) effort, and dragged him to go sledding next. Then snowboarding. Then skiing.  
  
After that concluded (and somehow ending up being better at snowboarding and skiiing than anyone else, though his form was a bit too stiff), Ryo asked for a moment alone, where he walked into the snowy woods and called to Michael.  
  
“Manna… please…” Ryo panted.  
  
“Here,” Michael said, handing it to him without hesitation.  
  
“The humans’ energy… it’s boundless… how…”  
  
“Humans are built differently than us angels. They can live off of the Light here alone, whereas angels require some supplementation.”  
  
“You’d think it’d be the other way around.”  
  
“The drawbacks of being a higher order of being,” Michael said simply. “We can fly and fight like no other. They cannot.”  
  
Ryo sighed, finishing his share of manna. “Am I doing alright?”  
  
“Yes, you’re doing fine. Do try to talk to people _other_ than Akira, though.”  
  
 _“Fine,”_ Ryo groaned.  
  
Michael disappeared, and Ryo went back to Akira and his family. Akira lit up at the sight of him. “Hey, you look better! We’re not wearing you out, are we?”  
  
Ryo waved him off. “No, no, I’m fine. What’s next?” he said, attempting a smile.  
  
Miki Makimura spoke up then. “Let’s go ice skating! There’s a rink over there!”  
  
“Yeah!” Akira replied, then took Ryo’s hand in his. “Let’s go!”  
  
Ryo followed Akira to the ice skating rink, trying his best to hide the blush on his face with furtive glances. From the corner of his eye, it seemed that Akira’s face had pinkened as well. Perhaps it was from the cold.  
  
When they reached the rink, the family picked out ice skates for themselves, helped each other put them on. Akira laced his own on, then moved to help Ryo into his, Ryo watching him with open curiosity, as he chatted away about how he’d always wanted to try ice skating but never had the chance to before. When he was done, Ryo looked down at the bladed shoes now on his feet.  
  
 _How is this going to work, exactly?_ Ryo thought to himself, looking at the thin blade he’d have to walk with. _I’d better not have to get out my wings for this. That would be difficult to explain.  
  
_ Once they were ready, they all set out onto the ice, tentatively at first, getting their bearings. Akira and Ryo were the last of them to get onto the ice, Akira reaching for Ryo’s hand again. “Hold onto me,” he said when Ryo looked up at him. He was definitely blushing now.  
  
Ryo obeyed, though with there being little ice skating experience between the both of them, it felt a bit to him like the blind leading the blind. Once they reached the ice though, the balance shifted, and Ryo had to steady Akira as his legs wobbled, threatening to go out from under him.  
  
There was an instructor there — thankfully — and once hearing her directions Ryo acclimated to the ice faster than even he thought he would, skating lazy circles around Akira, who had managed to get his bearings enough to stand and skate slowly on his own.  
  
Akira smiled up at him. “Don’t let me slow you down. Go on, skate with the others. I’ll catch up.”  
  
“...Alright,” Ryo said with hesitation, looking back before skating off. He skated alone, practiced building speed, turning, spinning, somehow managing not to fall even once. After his first lap, he heard a set of blades coming nearer to him.  
  
“You’re pretty good,” Miki Makimura smiled.  
  
Ryo groaned internally. _Her._ He wanted to quietly skate away from her, but he knew the athlete would catch up in no time. Then he remembered Michael’s advice, and, looking back, saw that Akira was still far behind them, but was looking their way. Perhaps he wanted this, too.  
  
Ryo sighed silently.  “Yes. I have acclimated to this better than I had anticipated.”  
  
“Do you like it?” Miki pressed.  
  
Ryo thought. “I like the speed and smoothness of it. It’s better than walking.”  
  
“That’s true. I wouldn’t mind being able to skate everywhere. It’s fun, right?”  
  
“Fun,” Ryo parroted. He didn’t fully understand the concept of _fun_ yet. At least not as humans defined it.  
  
They fell into an awkward silence, the scrape of their skates on the ice and nearby conversations the only sounds that could be heard. Ryo tried to gradually skate faster, away from Miki, but she caught up easily.  
  
She skated alongside him. “...Why did you do it, Ryo?”  
  
“Hm?” Ryo said, looking at her.  
  
She looked him in the eyes, unflinchingly. “Why did you betray Akira?”  
  
Ryo fell silent, thinking of an answer. How much did she know? How much _should_ she know? _Pick the safest answer._ “...It’s difficult to explain.”  
  
“That’s not an answer,” Miki rebuffed. “I want to hear an explanation. I don’t care how complicated it is.”  
  
 _She’s stubborn,_ Ryo thought. He looked down, at the blades of his skates carving lines into the ice. “...I wanted to show him what humans are really like. How easily they reject logic and reason when hatred and judgment are the quickest answers. How cruel humans can be to other humans who they perceive to be something ‘other’ than them. That he’s the exception, not the rule.” It wasn’t an excuse — just the truth.  
  
Miki’s lips formed a line. “...To what end?”  
  
Ryo frowned. “...To bring him closer to me. To convince him to stay by my side.”  
  
Miki let out an aggrieved sigh. “At least you’re being honest now. But… you’re wrong about humans.”  
  
She didn’t seem to bat an eye at Ryo’s usage of the word ‘human’ as though he weren’t one of them. _Perhaps she does know my true identity. Did Akira tell her?  
  
_ “I mean, you’re right that they can be cruel and hateful… my life was ended because of that,” she said, her voice quieter, her brow softly furrowing. “...But, not all people are the same. I saw that before I died.” Her eyes lightened noticeably. “I wrote about Akira on my page, after I saw your broadcast. I talked about what a wonderful person he is, and how we should be more accepting of people like him. A lot of people left comments on it. And a lot of them were terrible. But… so many of them were amazing. They heard me, and began to change their thinking. A bunch of people around the world came out as devilmen, online and to their loved ones, because of what I said. I feel like… if things hadn’t ended up the way they did, humanity could’ve lived in peace someday. That we would’ve worked it out somehow.”  
  
 _Is there any winning against demons?_ Ryo thought snidely, but kept it to himself.  
  
“All that happened,” Miki continued, “because people _can_ change. If we can just listen to each other, understand each other’s feelings, and see the truth, amazing things can happen. A lot of people made mistakes, and horrible ones… but, I feel like if most of them had learned the truth beforehand, they wouldn’t have done what they did.”  
  
“Not all humans are good,” Ryo replied.  
  
Miki looked at him. “But you can’t assume all humans are bad, either.”  
  
 _Because Akira exists,_ Ryo’s mind supplemented for him. He blinked owlishly at her, no reply he could give.  
  
They skated in silence for a minute or two after that. Ryo saw Akira again on his next lap around the rink, and he was being helped by Miko Kuroda, seeming to have more steadiness in his legs now. She caught a glimpse of Ryo and Miki skating together, and narrowed her eyes in Ryo’s direction. Ryo looked straight ahead again.  
  
“...You know,” Miki began, breaking the silence between them, “something else happened because of my post. The devilmen came together, found Akira, and backed him up in his fight. He always protected me, but…” she smiled wistfully, “in the end, I ended up protecting him.”  
  
Ryo processed this. _That may have been the reason he lasted so long in his battle against me. Because he had the help of so many devilmen._ Again he felt something akin to gratefulness for Miki Makimura… and disgust for himself. Twice now, _she_ had done a better job of protecting Akira than he had.  
  
He didn’t reply right away. “...You like him, don’t you?” His voice sounded smaller than he had expected.  
  
Miki looked at him. “Huh?”  
  
Ryo looked back. “You like Akira.”  
  
Miki startled, her eyes widening fast. “Huuuh?? N-no no no!!” she replied, waving her hands in dismissal, her face reddening quickly. “N-not like that! He’s like a brother to me, really! We’ve always looked out for each other, but…” she let out a small sigh, calming down. “I don’t see him that way. Honest.”  
  
Ryo looked at her for a moment, scanning for any deception on her part. Satisfied, he looked away. “Ah. My mistake, then.”  
  
“Ryo…”  
  
Ryo looked back at her. Her eyes were sincere.  
  
“Please, be good to Akira. I don’t know what he sees in you, and I don’t really know why he gave you this chance, not exactly.  But… I think it’s because he wants to see the good in you. You two only spent a short time together as kids, and when you came back all these years later, you led him into nothing but trouble. I don’t think he’s ever really had a chance to see the _good_ side of you. If there even is one. But… Akira always tries to see the good in everyone, and give them a chance. That’s what makes him amazing.”  
  
“...What are you trying to say?”  
  
“Don’t waste this chance, Ryo. Let Akira see the good in you, if you have any. He wants to find it.”  
  
Ryo nodded once. “...Right. Thanks.”  
  
“And if you’re thinking of doing anything bad with him,” Miki added, “then just leave now.”  
  
“Got it.”  
  
He heard the sound of skates skidding roughly across the ice toward them. “Hey,” Miko said in a low voice, skating up alongside Miki, “is he giving you any trouble?”  
  
“Not at all,” Miki smiled, turning to her.  
  
“Sorry I couldn’t catch up with ya sooner. I couldn’t leave Akira like that,” she cast her gaze to Akira; Ryo followed it, seeing Akira near the wall, still skating slowly, but properly, a confident smile on his face.  
  
“It’s fine,” Miki replied, “I’m glad you could help him. Ryo and I were just having a little talk.”  
  
Miko’s gaze landed on Ryo, her softened eyes hardening quickly. “You better not hurt anyone else, you hear me?” she said, instinctively holding Miki close.  
  
“I hear you,” Ryo said flatly.  
  
She calmed somewhat. “You should go back to Akira, he wants to skate with you,” Miko said to him, then turned to Miki and smiled. “Let’s race.”  
  
Ryo skated away from them, hearing giggling from behind him not long after.  
  
He met up with Akira, who greeted him with a smile. “Hey, Ryo! Check it out!” He moved to skate away from the wall, toward Ryo. One of his feet slipped out from under him however, and before he met the ice, Ryo caught him in his arms without thinking.  
  
Akira looked up him and made a nervous laugh. “Oops.”  
  
He had wanted to talk to Akira about their relationship when he returned to his side, but…  
  
“Here,” Ryo found himself saying, taking Akira’s hand after he righted himself. “I’ll show you how to do it.”  
  
Akira brightened instantly. “Alright!”  
  
Ryo, still holding his hand — to make sure he wouldn’t fall, he reasoned with himself — showed Akira how he skated, as Akira mimicked him closely. He learned fast, and soon he was keeping up with Ryo’s speed, unable to keep a beaming smile off his face.  
  
“I’m doing it, I’m doing it!!”  
  
Watching his glee that resulted from Ryo’s teaching, Ryo found himself smiling a little too.  
  
 _Huh. Maybe this is what ‘fun’ is.  
  
_ Soon, the family had their fill of skating — and of the cold — and outside the rink they deliberated over their next stop. Taro piped up, casting his vote for a stop at an amusement park he’d seen. Akira grinned, seconding Taro’s motion. The group agreed, and just like that, one by one disappeared from sight.  
  
Akira looked back at Ryo. “Are you coming with us?”  
  
Ryo forced a weary smile. “Yeah, sure. I just need a moment.”  
  
Akira smiled back. “Okay, I’ll wait up for you there.”  
  
“Akira,” Ryo said, stopping Akira before he vanished as well.  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“...Can we please speak alone, after this? I really want to talk to you.”  
  
Akira expression softened. “Alright. Fair enough. This will be fun though, I promise!”  
  
With that, Akira closed his eyes, then disappeared.  
  
Ryo sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Is this what humans do in Heaven _all the time?_ ”  
  
“Just the recent arrivals. Of course, it’s been busier than usual lately.”  
  
Ryo turned, finding Michael standing behind him.  
  
 _“What if someone sees you?”_ Ryo hissed at him lowly.  
  
“Forcefield,” Michael said simply, pointing to the space around them. Ryo had to squint, but he could just make out the edges of a sphere, warping like the reflective surface of a bubble.  
  
“Ah.”  
  
Michael reached into a pouch, pulling out some manna. “Need any?”  
  
“...Just a little,” Ryo said reluctantly.  
  
Ryo took some, just enough for a single small mouthful. He looked up at Michael. “So how am I doing?”  
  
Michael slowly smiled. “Very well. Akira’s testing you, and so far it seems you’ve passed.”  
  
“How much longer, I wonder…”  
  
“Just take things as they come. You’ve reminded Akira of your request; he will surely honor it.”  
  
When Ryo finished, Michael stretched his hand out to him. “Shall we go?”  
  
Ryo nodded reluctantly. “...Yeah.”  
  
The next moment, the skating rink disappeared from their sight.  
  
A moment after, a different place appeared before them — no more snow or ice, trees and various games and rides taking their place. Whimsical music played faintly, joined by laughter and the whirring of various machines.  
  
Ryo had never really seen much of a point to amusement parks, aside from being another distraction from the misery of humans’ lives. What purpose did it serve _here?  
  
_ _Well, Akira’s here, so that doesn’t really matter.  
  
_ Just as he thought that, approaching the entrance, Akira came into view. He lit up as soon as he saw Ryo, the sight warming Ryo’s chest.  
  
 _Is this… love?_ Ryo wondered.  
  
Akira took Ryo’s hand and led him into the park. “C’mon, everybody’s waiting!”  
  
They rejoined the family, the rapper boys having tagged along as well, and they soon went off to pursue their favorite attractions — Akira led Ryo over to the carnival-style games for some friendly competition, though try as he might, Ryo bested him every time, winning every game handily, from ring toss to water gun to fishbowl. He was offered various novelty prizes, most of which he turned down, until he saw the way Akira’s eyes lit up when he saw a large plush rabbit. Feeling his face pinken, he simply pointed to the stuffed animal, and it was brought down to him.  
  
Handing the rabbit to Akira, he was rewarded with an endearing smile. “Thanks, Ryo!”  
  
Ryo looked away as they walked from the game booths, Akira’s brightness almost too much for his eyes. “I didn’t know you liked rabbits.”  
  
“Who wouldn’t?” Akira beamed.  
  
“Akiraaaa!”  
  
“Huh?” Akira looked up. “I think that’s Taro.” He quickened his pace in the direction of the voice — Ryo followed suit.  
  
They soon found Taro, hesitating outside of a tilt-a-whirl ride, standing next to Akira’s mother.  
  
“Hey, what’s up?” Akira said to him, leaning down.  
  
“He wants to go on this ride, but only with you,” Kaori said with a sheepish smile. “Akiko and Noel are in the tunnel of love, so they left me in charge.”  
  
“Is that right?” Akira said to Taro with a smile. “You just want me?”  
  
“You make me wanna be strong!” Taro exclaimed, flexing his arms in emphasis.  
  
Akira grinned. “All right, we’ll take this on together!” Akira handed his plush rabbit to Ryo, giving him an apologetic look. “Sorry Ryo, I’ll be back soon.”  
  
Ryo took the rabbit, and stared back at him wordlessly, bewildered by the situation. He watched Akira take Taro’s hand in his, leading him toward the ride. Then it was just Ryo and Kaori, and the other park-goers milling about around them.  
  
Ryo fidgeted in place. _Why did he leave me here? Couldn’t I have gone on the ride as well? Not that I wanted to, but... now I’m here with… her._ He averted his gaze from Akira’s mother. _How much does she know about me? That look she gave me before… it was a little too knowing.  
  
_ “Let’s sit down while we wait for them,” Kaori said, breaking their silence. She walked over to a nearby bench. Ryo, feeling the pull of implied obligation, followed, and sat down next to her.  
  
She didn’t say anything to him, and he didn’t say anything to her. He squirmed slightly. Should he say something? What?  
  
“It’s still interesting to people-watch here,” Kaori said suddenly, looking not at him, but at the people walking by, lingering, talking. Ryo noticed that the rapper boys had picked a spot nearby and were rhyming and beatboxing away, a small crowd gathering near to listen.  
  
 _“Huh, I engage a page turner, burn a stage to fragrance,  
_ _Raises similar to native sages' sageing,  
_ _Unlocking a cage of praises for Rock of Ages,  
_ _Let random rambling rappers rant and raving,  
_ _I inflame verbs to your nerve ends,  
_ _Literally feeling these words in my tendons,  
_ _And rattling occupants of the venues' sinews,  
_ _While the Eulogy be orchestrating continuous crescendos,  
_ _Excellent, been down since Exodus,  
_ _Like what if the Egyptians and Israelites joined forces,  
_ _[That would force a forfeit…”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBGaShdDbxk)  
  
_ “Humans _are_ interesting,” Ryo ventured, flinching at his involuntary use of the word ‘human’. Perhaps she wouldn’t notice. “They’re so different here. Why is that?”  
  
“This is humanity without the influence of negativity,” Kaori answered.  
  
“It doesn’t seem natural. Almost _in_ human,” Ryo laughed lightly. “Is it forced?”  
  
“Not quite. Violence is verboten here, that is true, but there is hardly a need for it. This is humanity without illness, without hunger or pain. No one needs to eat or sleep. There is no money, and no one is lacking. This is humanity without the fear of death, or the pursuit of resources that’s driven by it. _This_ is humanity distilled to its purest essence.”  
  
“Huh,” Ryo said absently, staring at the people around them. The smiles they shared with one another, the kindness they showed others without hesitation, the tender embraces they gave. Not a single displeased frown to be seen, no voices raised other than in joy, no pushing or shoving, either.  
  
 _This_ was humanity’s true essence, boiled down? _What would be demons’ true essence,_ Ryo wondered, though he more or less knew the answer already. In a situation like this, demons would likely fight one another regardless, until only one was left standing. Violence and the brutal fight for survival was all they knew — Ryo once appreciated that simplicity, that pure instinct. But seeing this, seeing that humanity’s essence was not only the polar opposite of demons’, but just as complex and intelligent and innovative as they were before, made him wonder…  
  
...Was God as fond of humans, as Ryo had been of demons?  
  
If so… he was beginning to see why.  
  
Perhaps… Miki had been right. Humankind has the potential for evil, but it wasn’t evil at its root. Humanity… was _good._ Demons showing care for one another was the exception, not the rule. Their root, their base personality, was, essentially, evil.  
  
Humankind was opposite, but… not lesser. In a way, Ryo had to admit… humans were just as interesting as demons were. If not more so.  
  
“You know,” Kaori continued, breaking through Ryo’s thoughts, “it’s truly a shame humanity was snuffed out when it was,” she shook her head. “We had so many plans. There was so much more we could have done.”  
  
Ryo thought this over, as he heard Taro’s voice nearby. _“Again, again!” “Alright, alright,”_ came Akira’s reply.  
  
“Can’t those things be accomplished here?” Ryo countered. “I mean… if this place is so perfect, then why leave? Why live on Earth at all?”  
  
Kaori looked at him. “It’s a little _too_ perfect, don’t you think? No problems to solve, no struggles or strife to overcome. One can only grow and learn so much here. What have you learned from good times? Is it more than what you learned from bad times?”  
  
Ryo blinked at her, and thought. The only truly good times in his life that he could recall were the days he had spent with Akira when they were children. The one thing he learned from that: Akira was the most important person to him. Other than that, the harsh realities of life in the real world had taught him many things, and strengthened his resolve. They were what ultimately drove him back to Akira… and the worst moment of his life overall, had led him here.  
  
Ryo slowly nodded. “You have a point.”  
  
Kaori nodded in return. “Challenge and adversity are what motivate creatures of all kinds to change and evolve. Everything humankind has gone through, in multiple lifetimes, has shaped us into who we are today. Humans are human _because_ of Earth. We’ve experienced things there that we could never experience here. Things can take place on Earth that cannot happen here. The freedom we have here, and the freedom we have there, are two different things. Here, there aren’t even any stars to explore.” She looked up, and Ryo followed her gaze. The sky was the same perfect, flawless white that it had been at Angel Falls, and Ryo remembered that there hadn’t been a true _night_ since he had arrived here. It didn’t seem to exist in Heaven. Just constant, ever-present, light.  
  
“Life there is an irreplaceable experience.” Kaori looked back down, at Ryo again. “This is our home. But Earth is our home, too.”  
  
Ryo could say nothing to counter her. “You’re a very intelligent woman, Mrs. Fudo. It’s a pity you couldn’t have spent more time with Akira in life.”  
  
Kaori sighed, looking away. “I regret that as well. I couldn’t find a balance between my ambitions and my family. Well,” she said, a smile forming, “at least now we can try to make up for lost time.”  
  
Ryo looked down, unconsciously clutching the plush rabbit in his arms. He had to ask. “...How much do you know about me now?”  
  
“I know enough,” Kaori replied simply. Ryo looked up at her. Her expression wasn’t angry, but he didn’t trust it.  
  
“It’s not my business. This is Akira’s choice. But, if you’re planning to harm my son again, or to get him involved in some evil scheme, I strongly suggest you go back to wherever it is you came from.” She smiled; Ryo had never seen a smile so threatening _and_ friendly-looking at the exact same time.  
  
Ryo gave a single nod. “Understood.”  
  
The air between them was tense after that, and no more was said. Shortly, Akira and Taro exited the tilt-a-whirl ride, Taro running back to Kaori, thrilled beyond words.  
  
Kaori looked up at Akira and smiled. “Thank you so much for doing that. Sorry to have called you away so suddenly.”  
  
“It’s no problem,” Akira said, then smiled down at Taro. “We had a lot of fun, didn’t we?”  
  
“Yeah!” Taro exclaimed with a jump.  
  
Akira turned to Ryo, stretched out a hand. “Ready to go?”  
  
“Yeah,” Ryo said, getting up off the bench. “See you later, Mrs. Fudo.”  
  
Kaori nodded, giving the both of them a wave as the pair walked away.  
  
“Ah, I’ll take that now,” Akira said, taking the plush rabbit from Ryo with a sheepish laugh. “Hm, where should we go next? What do you think, Ryo?”  
  
 _I don’t want to go to any of these places or do any of these activities here, this was a silly idea,_ is what Ryo wanted to say. “Hmm…” he said instead, feigning thought.  
  
“I guess games aren’t very fun for you,” Akira thought aloud, “and you probably wouldn’t like most of the rides either… maybe this was a- Oh!”  
  
Akira stopped, looking up. Ryo followed his gaze. Ahead of them he saw a towering track.  
  
Akira looked back at Ryo, excitement written all over his face. “Rollercoaster!”  
  
Ryo’s eyebrows lifted, and he followed mutely as Akira dashed toward the ride.  
  
“You might like this ride, Ryo! It’s really fast,” Akira said with a grin, getting in line. Ryo stood next to him, taking in the sights while they waited. He found a sign nearby — _Greased Lighting_ , it seemed to be called.  
  
He knew what rollercoasters were, vaguely. He never took much interest in them. _Why do humans make these things? Are they another means of distraction from the woes of life? Then why would children ride them? It’s such an utterly pointless activity.  
  
_ Ryo thought this, yet he didn’t move out of line, staying by Akira’s side.  
  
He looked ahead of them, and saw some familiar faces ahead of them. Those… rapping boys. He still hadn’t learned their names.  
  
Coincidentally, one of them looked back at him and Akira, his eyebrows lifting. “Yo,” he greeted, nodding to the both of them.  
  
“Hey,” Akira said with a small wave. The boy’s eyes landed on Ryo, who stared back at him.  
  
“Hey,” he said in a low, suspicious tone, “you’re... Ryo, right? The guy who shot up the pier.”  
  
Akira wordlessly backed up, letting Ryo have his spot, closer to the boys ahead of them. Ryo looked back at him; Akira gave him an encouraging smile.  
  
 _He’s definitely doing this on purpose,_ Ryo thought, then looked forward again.  
  
“I try not to let that get around, but yes, I am,” he replied. “...Sorry about that, by the way.”  
  
“No big deal,” the boy waved it off. “It’s all dust in the wind now.”  
  
“I never learned your names,” Ryo admitted.  
  
“Ah, well I’m Wamu,” he said, “this is Gabi,” he gestured to the tall, dreadlocked boy next to him who looked at Ryo with an impassive expression, “this is Kukun,” he pointed to the boy with short dreads, who gave a short “yo” in greeting, “this is Babo,” a taller male wearing a wide-brimmed hat nodded solemnly, “and this is Hie,” the shortest male peered up at him through the dreads that covered his eyes, his facial expression indeterminable. Ryo recognized _him_ immediately — the one who had fired the shot at Akira, after the broadcast.  
  
“I’m glad we could meet again under better terms,” Ryo said politely.  
  
The line moved forward slightly. “So,” Wamu said, leaning toward Ryo again. “You goin’ straight now?”  
  
Ryo blinked at him. “I don’t think there’s any other way to get on this ride.”  
  
Wamu laughed. “Nah man, I mean, changing your ways. You were saying some fucked up shit on that broadcast.”  
  
“It was all lies,” Ryo said smoothly, without hesitation. “That’s all you need to know.”  
  
“For real?” Wamu said, then shook his head. “Damn…”  
  
“...I apologize for any harm that may have come to you and your friends, as a result of my statements,” Ryo said. Apologizing got easier the more he did it, he found.  
  
“I appreciate that,” Wamu nodded. “It was all pretty fucked at the end.”  
  
“To answer your question, I suppose I am, _going straight,_ as you would say,” Ryo added.  
  
“You better be,” Gabi spoke up. “After what you pulled, we thought you’d’ve gone straight to _hell._ ”  
  
“Gabi,” Wamu scolded, “not cool. If he’s here, he must be trying to own up to the shit he did. Akira can vouch for him, right, Akira?”  
  
“Yep!” Akira said, giving a thumbs-up.  
  
“Anyway,” Wamu said, “glad to hear it, man. I hope we can be friends.” He put out a hand to him.  
  
“I don’t see why not,” Ryo replied, shaking it diplomatically.  
  
“Ah, the line’s moving. Looks like we’re next,” Wamu said, letting go of Ryo’s hand. “Keep him honest, Akira!” he said with a wave, as he and his friends walked toward the coaster entrance.  
  
Akira clapped a hand to Ryo’s shoulder. “Let’s see if they’ve got room for us on there,” he said, gently pushing him in the same direction, a smile still on his face.  
  
“Room for two more,” the attendant said as they walked up to the gate. “Ah, perfect! Have fun!” he said brightly, letting Akira and Ryo through.  
  
Then the coaster was before them, everyone else having just gotten seated. “Ah, there’s a spot!” Akira said, pointing to the remaining spot that was just big enough for them to sit side by side.  
  
The restraints came down — _Just to keep us in the car, I suppose. No risk of injury or death here,_ Ryo thought — and in the pause that followed, Ryo’s eyes met Akira’s, as Akira gave him an excited smile.  
  
Then the attendant pulled a lever, and the coaster began to move.  
  
Ryo looked around, taking in his surroundings, unimpressed by the coaster’s movement so far. He heard the other passengers chatting lightly amongst themselves.  
  
Then the coaster’s movement shifted, and began to slowly ascend.  
  
Ryo’s eyebrows lifted, then lowered. _Boring.  
  
_ The coaster soon reached the peak of the track, where it slowed to a crawl. Ryo looked down — ahead the track took a steep drop.  
  
Just as he had observed this, the coaster tipped downward, and instantly _plunged.  
  
_ Ryo’s hair blew backward, the motion stealing his breath. _This speed-!  
  
_ As the others around him yelled in delight — Akira included — Ryo felt a smile involuntarily spreading across his face. The coaster’s speed building, the track bending in small loops that spun them around, Ryo whooped out a yell of his own. The air whipping past his face, his heart racing, the rush of pure _adrenaline_ running through him _.  
  
_ Nothing could compare to the thrill of flying with twelve wings — but this came close.  
  
Soon — too soon, for Ryo’s liking — the coaster reached a large loop, then another, its speed slowing gradually. Then, it was over, their car easing back to its starting place.  
  
Ryo gasped in a breath, and their restraints lifted. He chanced a look at Akira, and saw him looking back, grinning knowingly.  
  
Akira got out of the coaster first, Ryo, nearly frozen, watched him, until he snapped out of it, nearly stumbling as he got out of his seat to quickly rejoin Akira.  
  
He stood in front of him, his face feeling hot. His racing heart in his throat, Ryo smiled, and immediately wrapped Akira in a tight hug.  
  
Akira let out a soft giggle, hugging him back. “You liked it, huh?”  
  
Ryo took another gasping breath, overwhelmed by both physical and emotional sensation. He tried to parse it out, give it a name. In an instant he realized — he was _happy.  
  
_ And at last, he discovered the point of human inventions like roller coasters, and that one word he could never truly define for himself before.  
  
“...I had _fun,_ ” he smiled.  
  
Akira pulled back to look at him with a smile. “I thought you might.”  
  
Looking at Akira, Ryo’s chest felt lighter than it ever had, as though his heart had sprouted wings of its own. He didn’t want to let Akira go.  
  
 _Is this… love…?  
  
_ Thinking it over, Ryo decided. “...Can we go on it again?”  
  
Akira beamed, and pulled him along a second later, asking the attendant for another ride on the coaster, and then they were back in it again, Ryo taking in the first, slow movements of the ride with anticipation this time.  
  
When they got off the ride for the second time, Ryo felt just as thrilled as he had after the first, and so light he had to check to make sure his wings hadn’t involuntarily emerged.  
  
He took in the sight of Akira, still smiling brightly at him, making Ryo’s heart flutter even more.  
  
 _I have to share my feelings with him,_ Ryo thought, the emotion in him swelling so fast it felt like it would come up out of his mouth on its own. _As soon as possible.  
  
_ Ryo grabbed Akira by the shoulders, Akira’s eyes widening in surprise. Ryo leaned in.  
  
“Please, meet me somewhere, alone. Like you promised,” Ryo whispered. “I need to talk to you.”  
  
Akira smiled easily. “Alright. I’ll go tell the others where I’m going, then I’ll pick out a place. Meet me there?”  
  
Akira had no idea about Ryo’s travel restrictions, of course. Ryo smiled anyway. “I will,” he nodded.  
  
“Great,” Akira nodded, then they parted. “See you then!” he waved, before he left the roller coaster’s gate, then promptly vanished.  
  
Ryo stared after him, before his feet moved on their own, directing him away from the roller coaster and a fair distance from the line and the crowds.  
  
“Michael, put up that forcefield or whatever you call it,” Ryo said in a hurried voice.  
  
He had reached a small patch of trees, when Michael reappeared. “Yes?”  
  
Ryo could contain himself no longer. _“I think Akira loves me!”  
  
_ Michael blinked. “...You don’t even know what love _is_ yet.”  
  
“...Okay, true. But!” Ryo refuted. “Akira, he, he must have paid attention to what I liked, and he picked that roller coaster ride for me! And, and, he doesn’t look at anyone else the same way he looks at me. That has to mean something!”  
  
Michael looked at him, and slowly smiled. “Didn’t you ever notice before?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“The way Akira looked at you in life. The way he looked up to you. The joy he expressed when he saw you again after your time apart. The trust he had in you, to follow you for so long, even when you did the worst things. Did you take that for granted?”  
  
Ryo looked down. “I just… thought that was normal… I didn’t know any different. I never had any other friends. All I had was Jenny.”  
  
“And she was an expressionless demon.”  
  
Ryo pouted, about to make a remark about disrespect and how Jenny had cared for him when Heaven had abandoned him, when his own thoughts were interrupted. “Wait. Are you saying… Akira’s loved me all along?”  
  
Michael nodded. “On some level, at least, yes. I cannot say if it has grown to romantic love as he’s gotten older. You will have to determine that for yourself. But yes, he loved you then. And your betrayal broke his heart.”  
  
Ryo let out a sigh, rubbing at his brow, the memories of the emulation returning. _Heartbreak… that was what I was feeling. What_ he _was feeling, then.  
  
_ “He seems to have forgiven you, at least for the most part. You’re lucky.”  
  
“...Ah… I don’t feel like myself,” Ryo said, shaking his head. That _giddy_ feeling he had earlier… it was so unlike him.  
  
“I was just about to say so.”    
  
“Is this… the Light?”  
  
Michael smiled knowingly. “Yes.”  
  
Ryo sighed in irritation, at being subject to something that was beyond his ability to control. “What kind of effect does it have, anyway? Is it manipulative?”  
  
“No,” Michael replied. “It simply has a calming, embracing effect. It cleanses the soul, dissolving negativity. If you want to get specific, it raises serotonin and dopamine to their optimum levels. You’re reaching your ideal self.”  
  
“Like how humans are their ideal selves here…” Ryo mused.  
  
“Mmhm.” Michael sat down then. “Akira hasn’t arrived to his destination yet, so perhaps you should calm down and reflect on what you have learned, in the meantime. Ah,” he reached into his bag. “Need any manna?”  
  
“No. I’ve got too much energy right now,” Ryo said, his nerves quivering as he sat down in front of Michael.  
  
“Understandable,” Michael nodded. “If it helps, I’ll remain silent to allow you space for thought.”  
  
“What will you do?”  
  
“Meditate, of course.”  
  
Ryo rolled his eyes.  
  
“I’ll let you know when Akira is ready,” Michael said, ignoring Ryo’s response. Then he closed his eyes.  
  
Ryo knew that Michael’s guard wasn’t let down in the slightest, but somehow not feeling him stare at him was relaxing nonetheless.  
  
Ryo tilted his head back, and his thoughts wandered back to humans, and his train of thought that had been interrupted by Kaori.  
  
He had always thought of humans as lesser, inferior to demons at their core, having to invent machines to make up for their lack of physical strength. Demons could evolve quickly, by attaching parts of other creatures to themselves. But humans evolved in other ways, through their intelligence, their technology, and, apparently, through reincarnation as well. Humans are not as simple as demons, no — but, Ryo was coming to realize, they had their own beauty.  
  
Demons could only piggyback on the successes of other species, claiming them for their own — humans created their _own_ success, and built on it with future generations. It was not perfect, but in their small window of existence on planet Earth, they had evolved in ways no other species had before. As a single species… _Homo sapiens_ were amazing.  
  
Ryo had been angry at God, for trying to wipe out the demons that had reigned over Earth so that humans could live on it, and so he sought to wipe out humanity out of spite towards Him, toward His perceived unfairness.  
  
But…  
  
 _...Wasn’t I doing the same thing?  
  
_ “It’s time,” Michael said suddenly, jolting back to awareness. Ryo looked at him. “Akira is ready.”  
  
Ryo sighed, moving to stand up. “Alright.”  
  
Michael stood as well, and they faced each other. “I’ll take you there once you have prepared yourself.”  
  
Ryo took a deep breath, thinking over what he was about to do. His heart rate picked up speed.  
  
“Are you nervous?” Michael asked, not unkindly.  
  
Ryo looked to him. “...A little,” he admitted.  
  
“Don’t overthink it. Just voice your truest feelings to him. He will be receptive to you now. So let your heart lead the way.”  
  
Ryo let out a small laugh. Michael raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Sorry. That just sounded kind of cheesy, coming from you. But… you’re right. Thanks.”  
  
Michael smiled. “This is what a _wingman’s_ supposed to do, right?”  
  
“Right,” Ryo nodded.  
  
 _If someone had told me that my brother and I would be this close again, I would have told them they were insane,_ Ryo mused, nearly dissociating at the thought of it. So much had changed.  
  
He didn’t think he could ever work alongside Michael again like he once had, many millennia ago… but, he was thankful to have his support.  
  
 _Huh… I’m thinking of him as my brother again. I didn’t think that would ever happen, either.  
  
_ “Alright, I’m ready.”  
  
Michael reached out a hand; Ryo grasped it, Michael giving it a firm shake. “Good luck,” he said with a bright smile.  
  
The next moment, their location had changed, and Michael had vanished from sight.  
  
Ryo drew a breath, taking in his surroundings.  
  
His eyes were met with a burst of bright colors — not unnatural, like the ones in the amusement park, but softened and _real,_ surrounded by lush, healthy greens. Floral scents entered his nose, along with the smell of freshly turned soil.  
  
This… was a garden.  
  
A _huge_ garden.  
  
And Akira was in it. Somewhere.  
  
Ryo sighed, and entered through the morning glory-covered arch.  
  



	8. You're My Truest Feeling Yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter that you've likely been waiting for... ;)
> 
> I swiped a lyric from last chapter's song for the title of this one, because it just fit too well, but the song for this chapter [is actually this one!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F8HvKqnp5s)

The garden was even bigger than it had looked from the outside.  
  
It wasn’t the Garden of Eden, to be sure, but it was close. Flowers of every kind were spread as far as the eye could see, arranged in visually pleasing displays, divided by branching paths one could walk without disturbing the plant life. There were a fair number of humans present, either touring the garden or taking part in the plants’ care and arrangement.  
  
Ryo’s gaze did not linger on them for long, though — his eyes were drawn to the taller structures he had spotted from afar.  
  
Walking closer to the center of the garden, he found them — intricately carved wooden structures, with domed rooftops, spread out every few hundred meters. Gazebos.  
  
He scanned the first one he spotted, then the next, looking for Akira but finding only other denizens of Heaven chatting amongst themselves, playing board games, or simply observing the grounds. Then, at last, he saw him, inhabiting a gazebo all alone.  
  
Ryo saw him before Akira did, and he stopped to observe him for a moment; he sat casually, but fidgeted now and then. He looked… eager. No trace of anxiety that he could see. In fact… he seemed to be looking forward to seeing Ryo.  
  
Ryo’s chest squeezed. Somehow he felt that that was more than what he deserved from him. Akira had been right… what reason did he really have to trust Ryo, even now?  
  
But, even so… he was thankful for it.  
  
Ryo decided to make his presence known, taking less-than-gentle footsteps upon the gravel that separated the walking paths from the gardens. “Akira,” he called, his voice subdued.  
  
Akira looked up, and lit up like a streetlamp at dusk, his smile reaching his eyes. “You finally showed up!” he exclaimed, less in impatience than enthusiasm, standing up to meet him.  
  
Ryo approached the gazebo and entered it. “Sorry,” he said, and, deciding to be honest, added, “I have some, travel restrictions.”  
  
Akira’s expression dropped. “Oh, I’m sorry! Jeez, of course you would…” he said, shaking his head at himself. “I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”  
  
“Not at all, I just had to get permission first. Didn’t take long,” Ryo assured. He wasn’t sure he wanted to tell Akira about Michael’s supervision just yet. Maybe later.  
  
Placated by this, Akira eased. “That’s good.”  
  
Ryo leaned over the gazebo’s railing, looking out over the gardens. “This is a beautiful place. I wouldn’t have guessed that you would be someplace like this.”  
  
“Mm, Miki told me about it,” Akira said with a smile, joining him at the railing. “Her and Miko are gonna volunteer here soon. Turns out they both like flowers.”  
  
“Huh,” Ryo said noncommittally. _Those two girls spend a lot of time together, don’t they.  
  
_Looking down at the flowers planted near the gazebo, Ryo spotted a few hummingbirds buzzing around them. To his surprise, one of the hummingbirds looked up at him, and buzzed closer, examining his face and clothing, then Akira’s, before it landed on Ryo’s hand. Ryo’s eyes went wide, the tiny bird looking up at him in return. He lifted his hand slowly, expecting it to fly away, but it didn’t, tilting its head this way and that to get a better look at him and Akira.  
  
Ryo blinked at it. “The hummingbirds here are strange.”  
  
He looked over at Akira, and saw another hummingbird buzzing around him, Akira giggling lightly when it landed on his head and ruffled through the strands of his hair with its beak. “Are they?” Akira asked.  
  
“I remember seeing them in South America. Ones just like this one.” Ryo frowned down at it in concentration, trying to find any visible difference. “But only in brief glimpses — they were flighty, skittish, and highly observant. Territorial, as well. They would never come this close to a potential threat, except to scare it off.”  
  
“Ah, yeah, someone here told me about that,” Akira said, gently petting a hummingbird that had landed on his hand with a single fingertip. “Animals don’t need to eat each other here, so they’re more relaxed because they don’t have to worry about predators all the time. Most animals here don’t have to eat at all actually, people included. But they said that hummingbirds still have to — something about their metabolisms being really high, so they have to sip nectar now and then from the flowers so they don’t get sleepy.”  
  
Ryo lifted the hummingbird on his hand to eye level. “You and me both,” he lamented in a mutter to the bird, who tilted its head curiously at his voice.  
  
“Anyway,” Akira said after he had gently shooed the birds away, Ryo’s having already flown away to the next patch of flowers, “I reserved this gazebo, so we’ve got it to ourselves for as long as we like. No one else will try to enter it, they said. I dunno how it works, but I thought I’d give it a try anyway,” Akira said with a small shrug.  
  
“I appreciate that,” Ryo said, and he did.  
  
“Well, there’s a bench over there,” Akira said, turning and gesturing awkwardly to one of the three benches that were stationed around the perimeter of the gazebo’s interior. “So… uh...”  
  
“Alright,” Ryo said, walking toward the one in the middle. He tried to portray a calm air, in an attempt to ease Akira’s sudden nerves, despite his own growing anxiety. Akira followed him wordlessly.  
  
Ryo sat on one end of the bench, and Akira sat on the other, to his right. Ryo took a deep, silent breath to steady himself, calm the fluttering in his chest. He looked to Akira, who had his hands in his lap, clutching the fabric of his black jeans, likely to steady himself as well.  
  
_Might as well get this out of the way first,_ Ryo thought, before he spoke.  
  
“So… that Makimura girl,” he began. Akira looked up at him. “Do you like her?”  
  
“Huh?” Akira said, tilting his head slightly in confusion.  
  
“As in, as a man likes a woman,” Ryo clarified.  
  
Akira’s mouth moved uselessly for a few seconds, attempting to form words. “Uh- uh… _no!”_ he replied at last, slightly louder than needed. His face reddened instantly. “No way! I, I mean… I care about her a lot. She means a lot to me… but she’s like a sister to me. I may have looked at her in a… certain way sometimes,” Akira said, his blush deepening, “but that was Amon, not me. I hated when he did that. I never saw her that way and I never would. I wouldn’t want to mess up what we already have. Plus,” he perked up, “she likes Miko, anyway.”  
  
_Ah, so that explains their closeness._ “She was a devilman as well, am I correct?”  
  
“Yeah,” Akira nodded. “She didn’t get to fight alongside me, but, she tried to protect Miki, until the end. I’m really grateful to her for that,” he smiled wistfully. “Miki likes her a lot too. I’m happy they found each other again.”  
  
There was nothing in Akira’s voice that was insincere. That was Akira. “I see,” Ryo replied simply.  
  
“So… what did you want to talk about, Ryo?” Akira said, his voice small. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance before...”  
  
“It’s fine,” Ryo dismissed. “It was warranted. I’ve thought on it, and I realize now that I handled that poorly. I apologize. I hope you can forgive me.” He hadn’t intended for that last part to slip out, but it did. It wasn’t his place to ask for forgiveness, not in the slightest. He knew now that he had to _earn_ it.  
  
Akira nodded, a smile on his lips. “Thanks for that.”  
  
Ryo continued. “I realize that… what I did hurt you, emotionally. I was cold to you.”  
  
“Mm,” Akira acknowledged. “You seem warmer now.”  
  
“I _have_ changed, haven’t I…” Ryo said. Thinking back to their meeting in the library, his actions then were unthinkable now. His chest ached at the thought of it.  
  
“Sorry, I’ll let you talk,” Akira said. “Just, tell me what’s on your mind. What you were going to tell me before.”  
  
Ryo sighed, looking down at his hands in thought. Now that the right moment had arrived at last, he found his words tangling up, feelings and memories mixing together. _Let your heart lead the way,_ that had been Michael’s advice. _I shouldn’t overthink this,_ Ryo decided. _Akira will understand.  
  
_“...Akira,” he began, the feeling of Akira’s name passing through his lips steadying him. “Something happened to me… when I realized you had died. I had… feelings. Feelings that I couldn’t describe… that I still can’t describe. I reached out to you, asked for you to explain it to me… but you were gone,” his voice cracked. “I cried, Akira…”  
  
“You’re crying now,” Akira said softly, reaching across the bench to embrace Ryo. Ryo heard a sniffle from behind his shoulder.  
  
Ryo’s breath hitched, and he embraced Akira in return. “That’s why I’m here, Akira. I couldn’t let you go. I had to see you again, no matter where you were, no matter how unlikely it was, no matter what it would cost me.” Tears ran down his face again, dampening Akira’s shoulder. “I had to try. I faced God again, for you.” He clutched at Akira’s shirt. “Because… there’s no point to existing if you’re not there with me.”  
  
“Ryo…” Akira said, his voice awed.  
  
“Please, Akira… feel what I’m feeling,” Ryo said, burying his face in Akira’s shoulder. “Tell me what it is. I’ve never felt this way before.”  
  
Akira held him, scooted closer to bring their bodies together. He took a deep breath, letting it out a moment later, stroking Ryo’s back idly. Ryo heard an ugly-sounding sniffle, and swore that more tears ran anew from Akira, feeling his own shoulder dampening.  
  
“Ryo… I…”  
  
Ryo lifted his head. “What is it?”  
  
“Ryo…” Akira said again, his voice disbelieving.  
  
Akira pulled back, meeting Ryo’s eyes. Tear tracks ran down his cheeks, his face totally wrecked as he gave him a pained look. “You… you love me.”  
  
Part of Ryo knew that he would say this. It had already been predicted by his brother Michael. But that didn’t keep it from hitting him in the chest like a brick. His heart gave an all-too-human _thump,_ his breath stolen from his lungs.  
  
Akira embraced him again, and sobbed loudly, clutching him tight. Ryo hugged him back, tentatively. “Is that bad?”  
  
“No!” Akira cried, giving a loud, wet sniffle afterward. “It’s just… a lot to take in...”  
  
Akira hadn’t rejected him, not yet. Ryo said no more, relaxing in Akira’s hold, burying his nose in his shirt. He smelled just the same as he remembered, the soft, clean scent he had when Ryo had picked him up at the pier, before demonic possession made the scent of sulfur ever-present in his skin. Ryo savored it — the scent of _his_ Akira, his pure-hearted Akira, the one he had tainted in order to keep safe.  
  
“I’m sorry…” Akira muttered.  
  
“What the hell are _you_ sorry for,” Ryo asked, forgetting to correct his language. He half-expected a retribution from Michael, but none came. _Perhaps he’s implemented a points system.  
  
_“For not being there for you… for not saying goodbye,” Akira sniffed, holding him closer.  
  
Ryo sighed, and ventured stroking Akira’s back like Akira had stroked his own. “It couldn’t be helped. That was my fault. I was reckless. There… there was a lot that I did wrong,” he admitted.  
  
Akira pulled back gently, facing Ryo. “Like what?”  
  
Ryo missed his warmth instantly. “I already told you. That broadcast… I betrayed you, and put you in harm’s way. I could have lost you then,” he shook his head.  
  
“Why _did_ you do that, Ryo?” Akira’s tone was not angry, his eyes pleading.  
  
Ryo let out a shuddering sigh. “...I thought it would show you how humans really are. That they’re not worth saving. So you would come to me instead.”  
  
Akira frowned, looked down in barely restrained emotion.  
  
Ryo hated this. Hated seeing Akira angry at him. “But, I was wrong, Akira.”  
  
Akira looked up again, his eyes widened in curiosity.  
  
Ryo decided to explain. “There’s a place here, called the Hall of Records, and it has a machine called an Emulator, that allows the wearer to experience someone’s past, through their eyes. I used that… to see what you saw that night, Akira.”  
  
Akira blinked repeatedly, processing this. “You… went into my memories?”  
  
“In a way. It was a perfect record of what you experienced, right down to the physical sensations.”  
  
“Oh…”  
  
“And… I saw what you did, for those humans who were being stoned.”  
  
“Oh…” Akira repeated, rubbing at his neck. “Guess you thought that was pretty stupid, huh.”  
  
“It’s not the choice I would have made then,” Ryo conceded, “but… I saw what the humans did, after you pleaded with them, and cried before them… it surprised me. I never would have expected it,” he shook his head. “Even after all that… they showed compassion for you.”  
  
Akira looked at him, and a smile slowly spread across his face. “Yeah. I was counting on that. That once they learned the truth, they wouldn’t be so quick to judge.”  
  
“Not just that,” Ryo said. “I was wrong about humans.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“I thought… that if stripped down to their basest elements, humans would be just as brutal and merciless as demons.”  
  
“Well… some were,” Akira muttered.  
  
“I know,” Ryo let slip out, then continued, “but you proved otherwise, Akira. Even in the midst of their brutality… you were able to reach their hearts. I didn’t think that could happen. I thought their fear and hatred would win out, above all else…”  
  
“You underestimated humanity,” Akira said, still smiling.  
  
“You’re not wrong,” Ryo replied. “I thought of humans as over-complicated, overrated, arrogant, in denial of their true nature. I appreciated the simplicity of demons — they never tried to present themselves to others as righteous or just. Their true nature was wicked and brutal, for the sake of survival. I thought that deep down, humans were just the same, they just pretended they were better for the sake of social expectations, or their God,” Ryo gave a small smirk.  
  
“But… after bearing witness to that, and to the way humans are here, stripped down to their basic elements… I’ve realized my assumption was incorrect. Humans… are not lesser, and their better natures aren’t always a performance. Akira,” he said, looking to him. “All along I thought you were an anomaly. An exception, not the norm. But I… I’ve been seeing in humans here, the traits I love about you,” his voice shook, the word _love_ passing through his lips unbidden. He didn’t take it back, let it steep in him instead, that small truth. “The traits that I thought only you had. Compassion, caring, acceptance, non-judgment…” He sighed. “I thought… only you were worth saving, because you were different. Because you were like no one else.”  
  
“But I’m not,” Akira smiled. “Because I’m human, and deep down, humans are good. And if they aren’t, they’ve lost sight of themselves, and of what matters. What made me different… is that I was with you.”  
  
Ryo looked up at him, feeling tears prickling his eyes again. “Yeah. You were there when no one else was, when everyone else despised me.”  
  
“Because… I believed in you, Ryo,” Akira said softly. “You tried to do terrible things when we were kids, but, I believed, even then, that deep down,” he put a hand to his chest, “you had goodness in you, somewhere.”  
  
“You probably saw the angel side of me, but you didn’t have a name for it…” Ryo lamented.  
  
“Or maybe I saw that you were capable of doing what you’re doing right now,” Akira said. “Ah, I’m sorry, I interrupted you. Go ahead.”  
  
Ryo sighed. “I thought humans were lesser, and they didn’t deserve to reign over Earth, that the Earth was rightly the demons’ place — they were there first. I was angry with God for that, for favoring humans at the expense of demons, for being unfair… but, I think I’ve done the same thing.” He looked down, and shook his head.  
  
“Ryo...”  
  
“God wanted to wipe out all demons, I wanted to wipe out all humans. I thought God was cruel and inconsiderate, but, so was I. I saw humans as weak, and judged them on their frailties. I saw a beauty in demons… but, humankind has a unique beauty of its own, one that demons can only emulate. And I never saw it, until I came here.”  
  
Akira only stared at him, speechless.  
  
“Akira,” Ryo said, taking Akira’s hand in his, looking into his eyes. “I’ve made a horrible mistake. Humanity had great potential, and I snuffed it out before it could be fulfilled. I thought I knew best, but I didn’t. I don’t think I can ever get humanity’s forgiveness… but, yours would be enough, for me. I can’t ask for it, but please… consider it.” He clutched Akira’s hand tight, stray tears spilling from his eyes.  
  
Akira stared back at him for a moment, dumbfounded.  
  
Then he smiled, put his free hand atop Ryo’s, and held his hand in both of his.  
  
“I already have.”  
  
A smile spread across Ryo’s face of its own accord. “Akira!”  
  
He slipped his hand out of Akira’s, and threw his arms around him, holding him tight. His breath hitched as tears flowed anew — ones of joy.  
  
Akira returned his embrace, warm arms wrapping around him. Ryo sighed happily.  
  
He decided to let his fluttering heart lead the way once again. “I… I love you, Akira.”  
  
It felt like the most alien thing he had ever said, yet also the truest words that had ever passed through his lips. His heart lifted, as though the unvoiced feeling he had been hiding had tied it down for all these years.  
  
Love was meant to be shared, after all.  
  
He waited for Akira’s reaction. Would he tense up? Pull away? Stay silent?  
  
He could feel Akira’s heartbeat quicken, as he drew a breath. The voice that followed it was quieter than Ryo had expected.  
  
“I… love you, too.”  
  
An unknown impulse ran through Ryo, the same one he had felt on that rock, long ago. He pulled back to face Akira, Akira giving him a puzzled look in return. Then the next second, he leaned in again.  
  
The lips that met his this time were warm and pliant, his mouth responsive and _alive.  
  
_Akira returned his kiss — awkwardly, sloppily — and Ryo savored every second of it. He raised his hand to Akira’s head, and cradled it, his fingers threading through his soft dark hair.  
  
Akira tried his best, but it was clearly his first kiss — their noses bumped, their teeth clicked, drool dripped inelegantly from Akira’s mouth, but Ryo loved it anyway, and tried his best to compensate for Akira’s inexperience — though he had never kissed anyone before, either.  
  
Akira tasted even better than he had smelled — with just a touch of sweetness that kept Ryo coming back for more. Feeling bold, he slipped his tongue between Akira’s lips-  
  
“Whoa, somebody likes PDA.”  
  
Akira froze, and Ryo pulled back, looking for whomever had dared to intrude on them.  
  
He looked down to the flowerbed outside the gazebo, and saw a young woman with a bright pink undercut who he didn’t recognize.  
  
She raised her hand in surrender. “Sorry,” she said with a laugh in her voice, “I couldn’t help but notice you two. I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to look after the roses. Carry on.”  
  
Ryo frowned, then looked back at Akira. His face was deeply flushed, likely from the kiss and the embarrassment combined. _Cute,_ Ryo thought to himself.  
  
“C-can we,” Akira began, “go to my house?”  
  
Ryo blinked at him. “You have a _house?”  
  
_“Mm,” Akira nodded. “Anyone can have their own place here, if they want it. You just have to imagine it, and it’s there, like magic. I made mine soon after I got here, but I haven’t been in it much yet,” he said with a sheepish smile. “I just thought it’d be fun to have my own place to hang out at now and then.”  
  
“...Alright. I’d like to see it,” Ryo replied.  
  
“Great!” Akira smiled again. “Oh, your travel restrictions-”  
  
“Don’t worry about that,” Ryo cut in, not wanting their potential eavesdropper to hear. “It shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll meet you there.”  
  
“Okay!” Akira beamed.  
  
He closed his eyes and vanished the moment afterward, Ryo missing him immediately. The next second, Michael appeared. A smile began to spread across his face as he looked at Ryo.  
  
“Don’t say anything,” Ryo said, holding up a hand. “Don’t. Say. Anything.”  
  
Michael continued to smile like the cat that caught a mouse.  
  
“Just take me to Akira,” Ryo said, feeling a blush forming on his face.  
  
“...May I meet him?” Michael said.  
  
Ryo met him with a quizzical look. “You’ve already met him.”  
  
“Ah, let me rephrase,” Michael said. “May he meet me?”  
  
Ryo blinked at him, considering.  
  
“...I suppose,” he replied reluctantly. “If it comes up.”  
  
“Great,” Michael smiled, his eyes sparkling.  
  
_“Please,”_ Ryo insisted with a tap of his foot, his patience slipping.  
  
“Very well, very well,” Michael replied, taking Ryo’s hand, them both vanishing from the gazebo a second after.  
  
When he reappeared, Michael was no longer visible, and the air had completely changed.  
  
It took just a moment to register — the grass and soft soil beneath his feet, the steep cliffs, the roar of the nearby ocean, the salty scent in the air.  
  
The place that had been their favorite spot on Earth. Where Akira had found Ryo when they were small, and again after Ryo had betrayed him.  
  
It shouldn’t have surprised him, but Ryo found his breath swept away.  
  
Even after everything that had happened here, this was still Akira’s favorite place on Earth.  
  
Ryo found that it was his, too.  
  
He cast his gaze around, looking for a house that could be Akira’s. _What kind of house would he pick for himself, I wonder?  
  
_He didn’t have to wonder long. “Ryo!”  
  
Ryo followed the sound, and he wondered how he hadn’t found it sooner — the house was near the exact cliff where Akira met Ryo for the first time, right at its starting point, where the ground was even. His heart fluttered at that.  
  
He spotted Akira waving to him from the house’s front porch, a wide smile on his face.  
  
If Ryo could have flown there, he would have.  
  
He ran as fast as he could, meeting Akira at the house’s front door.  
  
“Glad you could make it,” Akira grinned. “I’ll show you around!”  
  
Ryo nodded, and Akira turned to open the door — unlocked, of course. They walked in, Ryo taking in everything he saw. So far, it was an excessively _average_ house, just like any typical one-floor residence one would find in Japan, or see on television shows. Perhaps this reflected the normal life that Akira had longed for.  
  
“Um, I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore, but you can take your shoes off here,” Akira said, pointing to the area near the door where shoes could be placed upon entering. Normally, Ryo wouldn’t care, but considering the circumstances, that Akira had invited him here, he went with it, kneeling down to take off his pure-white shoes. Akira, his eyebrows lifted, moved to do the same, kneeling right next to him. Ryo hoped he didn’t hear his breath hitch at their closeness.  
  
“Well, this is it,” Akira said once they had finished and stood, beginning to walk through the house. A normal sitting area, normal kitchen, modest windows that let in plenty of light and the sea breeze. “It’s not much, I know… and I haven’t done a lot with it yet, either. It’s kinda silly, I guess, since I spend most of my time with my mom and the Makimuras anyway…” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just wanted to make a house for the fun of it, really,” he shrugged.  
  
Ryo wasn’t unimpressed; rather, one feeling stood out in this place more than any other — a pervasive feeling of _peace._ Though there wasn’t much in the way of decoration, somehow it still felt warm. It felt like a place of respite, of dreaming of a life he could have had. Pleasant and wistful, at the same time. “This is nice,” Ryo said, sincerely.  
  
Akira looked back at him with a relieved smile. Perhaps he had worried that his house couldn’t measure up to Ryo’s earthly penthouse. “Here, I’ll show you my room,” he said, his footsteps quickening. Ryo followed.  
  
On the way, two black cats darted into their path, halting Ryo in his tracks. Akira looked back, smiling at them. “Ah, that’s Miki’s cat Tako, and this is Kuro! They hang out here sometimes. Hey guys!”  
  
“Kuro?” Ryo asked, as Akira bent down and picked up one of the cats.  
  
“Oh! I never introduced you.” Akira straightened, the cat resting comfortably in his arms. “He’s the kitten I tried to save on the cliff when we were kids! Remember that?”  
  
_How could I forget,_ is what Ryo wanted to say. “Yeah,” is what came out, his eyes meeting Kuro’s bright golden orbs.  
  
“Look at how big he is now!” Akira beamed, holding the cat up to Ryo. Kuro mewed happily, and reached a paw out to place on Ryo’s cheek. Akira laughed. “I think he remembers you!”  
  
_Remembers what, I wonder._ Ryo tentatively reached out his hand to the cat, and when it met no resistance, he petted Kuro’s head, Kuro rubbing against his palm and purring softly in response. “All is forgiven, I suppose,” Ryo remarked.  
  
“Of course,” Akira smiled, and set down the cat soon after. As Kuro and Tako rubbed up against one another in a friendly fashion, Ryo noted that Kuro’s fur was longer and smoother than Tako’s, making it easy to tell them apart. _It’s a pity he had to die so soon,_ Ryo found himself thinking, before quashing the thought in confusion. Stepping around them carefully, Ryo resumed his pursuit of Akira to his room.  
  
It didn’t take them long to arrive at Akira’s door, which Akira opened with a flourish. Akira entered first, Ryo peering inside, then falling into step behind him.  
  
It…was just like any teenage boy’s bedroom. Outfitted with a desk — _“Do you use that?” Ryo asked; “Nah,” Akira replied. Ryo noticed old photographs of Akira’s family and friends taped on the wall above it_  — a small television with an outdated video game system hooked up to it, and a large window perched right above a modest bed.  
  
“I thought humans didn’t need to sleep here,” Ryo remarked, nodding toward the bed.  
  
“Doesn’t mean we can’t, if we want to,” Akira said, sitting on the bed with a _whump.  
  
_Ryo suddenly felt shy — he had never been in Akira’s room even when he was alive; not since they were small. He took a seat in the unused desk chair and faced the bed, in hopes of calming himself.  
  
“I suppose we can be a bit more candid here now,” Ryo began. “Do you have any questions for me?”  
  
“Yeah. Uhm…” Akira thought. “You said… that God granted your request to see me, with conditions. What were those?”  
  
“To maintain peace, which I took to mean, ‘don’t cause trouble’,” Ryo answered, “and… to learn what love is.”  
  
“Oh…” Akira said in a small voice.  
  
“And apparently some incidental ones were tacked on afterward, for safety reasons,” Ryo added flippantly.  
  
“Like your travel restrictions?”  
  
“Yes,” Ryo said. “I cannot use spectral travel alone at all. I don’t think I can request objects to materialize, either…” he trailed off, realizing that he hadn’t tried to, either. He held out his hand, and focused, trying to will a small rock into being in his palm. Nothing materialized. “Just as I thought,” he said, looking at his bare palm. “My angelic powers have been limited, as well.”  
  
“I guess that makes sense… after everything you did,” Akira said. “A handicap to keep you from causing too much trouble.”  
  
“Mm, that’s basically it.”  
  
“You said you can’t travel alone… so, who goes with you? Who do you ask to take you places? God?”  
  
Ryo’s lips formed a line. “Not quite. I suppose now is as good a time as any.” Ryo sighed, and looked behind him. “You can show yourself, now.”  
  
In an instant, Michael slipped out of whatever invisible dimension he had been residing in, and stood beside Ryo, his golden armor gleaming in the light from the window. Akira gasped.  
  
“This, is Michael,” Ryo said, gesturing to him with no enthusiasm.  
  
“M-m-Michael the archangel?!” Akira exclaimed, standing immediately.  
  
Michael replied with a bright smile. “Yes, it is I.”  
  
“W-wow,” Akira stammered, looking at Michael up and down, then looking between the two of them. He gaped. “You… you look just like Ryo...”  
  
“We’re twins,” Michael and Ryo replied at the same time, looking at each other afterward, Ryo with a glare.  
  
“W-whoa…” Akira said, sitting back down, overwhelmed. “I guess I didn’t need that medal after all…”  
  
“Not true,” Michael chirped, “though my presence was close, your possession of that makes my protection one percent more accurate.”  
  
“Which is almost nothing,” Ryo muttered under his breath.  
  
_“Which brings my protection to a full one-hundred percent,”_ Michael corrected. “Not only that, it helped bring you peace of mind as well, so in that, it served its purpose,” he smiled.  
  
“So it was essentially a lucky charm,” Ryo quipped snidely.  
  
_“Don’t test me,”_ Michael said, looking back at him with a glare of warning.  
  
Akira gave a light laugh. “So, you’ve been with Ryo this whole time?”  
  
“Yes. God entrusted me with the task of protecting Heaven, should,” he hesitated, “ _Ryo_ start behaving nefariously, and to prevent him from doing so, if possible. I also supported him in his goals to the best of my own ability.”  
  
“Really?” Akira said, his eyes widening. Then he smiled. “I guess I have to thank you, then.”  
  
Michael beamed. “Just doing my duty. It’s been a challenge, but,” he looked to Ryo. “It’s been rewarding, as well.”  
  
Ryo looked back at him with a tired expression on his face. “Alright, alright. Go back to your pocket dimension or whatever now.”  
  
Michael sighed. “Very well.” He looked to Akira. “It was good to meet you, Akira. Despite what you may think, you _are_ unique among God’s creations. You are one of His finest,” he smiled genuinely. He offered his hand to Akira, who hesitated for a moment before taking it, giving it a firm shake.  
  
_“Michael,”_ Ryo butt in.  
  
“Yes yes,” Michael said, stepping away. “Do go on as normal, as though I were not here. I do not judge.”  
  
Ryo looked at him.  
  
“...I do not judge most things,” Michael corrected himself. “Please, carry on.” He vanished again the next moment, as though reality itself were but a curtain he could slip behind.  
  
Ryo let out a sigh, as Akira blinked, staring at the space that Michael had previously occupied.  
  
“So, that’s who I have to ask to take me anywhere,” Ryo said. “One time he led me somewhere by foot just because he thought it was _best._ ”  
  
Akira seemed unconcerned about that. “So… you two are _brothers?”  
  
_Ryo averted his gaze. “...We used to serve God together. Before I fell.”  
  
“Oh…” Akira said. “That must’ve been hard on him… losing you like that.”  
  
Ryo sighed through his nose. “...That’s between the two of us.”  
  
“Sorry, sorry,” Akira said. “I can’t imagine what it’d be like to have a twin… you two must’ve been close, at one time.”  
  
Ryo _really_ didn’t want to talk about this. “Let’s change the subject. I’ve been curious.” He looked at Akira. “Why do you look that way? I would have assumed that you would want no part of the appearance you took on after your possession by Amon, yet you look uncannily similar to how you looked then. Why is that?”  
  
Akira looked away, ruffling his hair, clearly caught off-guard. “W-well… I guess I… kinda liked some of it. Being taller, stronger. More… manly? I dunno,” he laughed. “I _was_ a scrawny little kid before that, so it was kind of an improvement. Plus it’s how most people would recognize me, so I’ve been able to meet some of the people I saved and make some apologies this way, too.”  
  
“Reasonable,” Ryo replied.  
  
“Would you… like it if I looked that way?” Akira said softly. “The way I did before I got possessed?”  
  
Ryo’s chest fluttered at that. That Akira… that soft, innocent Akira… how he wished he could’ve held him in his arms longer than he had. “Maybe another time. I… like the way you look now, as well. Akira is Akira.” It was true — even when Akira’s physical form had changed dramatically, Ryo wasn’t put off by it in the slightest. If anything, he felt himself being even more drawn to him. Those feelings confused him then — but not now.  
  
Ryo’s eyes wandered over Akira’s physical form now, of their own accord — his sharpened features, his defined muscles, his broadened shoulders and lengthened legs. He rubbed at his forearm unconsciously, licked at his lips when his eyes fell upon Akira’s mouth.  
  
_These reactions… my pulse is quickening…  
  
_Akira was looking at him too, swallowing thickly as he took in Ryo’s new form. “C-could you,” Akira began, “...look the way you used to? We’re the only ones here, so… it shouldn’t cause any trouble.”  
  
Ryo knit his brows. “The way I used to? You mean, as a human?”  
  
“Yeah,” Akira said, smiling sheepishly. “I… kinda miss it.”  
  
Ryo couldn’t fight the smile that emerged on his face. “Alright.” He closed his eyes, concentrating for a moment. When he opened them, his form had changed back to his previous boyish self. He felt cool air at the nape of his neck, where his hair had previously been.  
  
“There,” Ryo said. Akira looked at him, and smiled approvingly.  
  
“That’s the Ryo I know,” he said, his voice jovial and warm.  
  
Ryo felt warmer, too. He felt a yearning in his chest, tugging him forward. He needed to be closer to Akira.  
  
Ryo rose from the desk chair, and moved fluidly to the bed, sitting down beside Akira gently. Akira’s eyebrows raised as he looked to him. In the stillness of his room, the silence of a house sitting all alone by the sea, Ryo could hear Akira’s heartbeat quicken. He savored the sound.  
  
“Akira,” he said in a lowered voice. “There was another reason you brought me here, wasn’t there? More than a retreat from prying eyes and ears.”  
  
Akira swallowed, casting his gaze downward. His heart beat faster.  
  
“Akira,” Ryo repeated, his hand reaching out to touch Akira’s arm on impulse. Akira didn’t shy away. Ryo leaned in. “Do you want to kiss me?”  
  
Akira grimaced, his heart beating louder still. Unable to speak, he stiffly nodded.  
  
Ryo reached out to him, his growing _need_ becoming out of control. He needed to be closer to him, to feel Akira’s strong, _living_ body pressed against his own. His fingertips traced Akira’s sharpened jawline, until his fingers cradled Akira’s chin, gently guiding Akira to face him.  
  
Their eyes met, their faces mere inches apart.  
  
“Akira,” Ryo whispered, his breath ghosting across Akira’s lips. “Do you want to do more than that?”  
  
Akira gave a soft gasp. Ryo closed the distance between them.  
  
Their lips met, Ryo giving Akira a gentle kiss, which Akira responded to in kind. Akira turned his body toward Ryo’s, pulling him closer — he wanted this, too.  
  
Ryo’s own heart fluttered, as their kisses escalated once again. Then Akira pulled back.  
  
“Wait,” he said with a gasp, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Should we be doing this? Are you allowed to?”  
  
“Only one way to find out,” Ryo said huskily, leaning in for another kiss.  
  
Akira blocked him with his hand. “No,” he said stubbornly. “I don’t want you to get kicked out…”  
  
Ryo’s heart tugged at that. Akira wanted him to stay. “Michael didn’t do anything about it before,” he reasoned. “And, it isn’t going to harm Heaven or its citizens in any way, is it?”  
  
“No…” Akira said hesitantly.  
  
“We’re just two people showing their feelings for each other. Surely _that’s_ allowed in Heaven?”  
  
“I think so…” Akira mused, thinking. “You’d better not be tempting me to sin, _Satan.”  
  
_Ryo frowned at him, until he saw a playful smirk forming on Akira’s face. He was teasing him.  
  
He slowly smiled, too. “That’s up to you to judge. Will you be Adam, or Eve~?”  
  
Ryo leaned in, kissing up Akira’s neck this time. Akira giggled lightly.  
  
“Michael told me that Heaven doesn’t look down on same-sex relationships,” Ryo said against Akira’s skin. “Gender’s more of a human concept, anyway.” Another kiss. “Doesn’t quite apply to angels.” Ryo placed a kiss to Akira’s jawline.  
  
“So… _are_ you a boy, or…?” Akira interjected.  
  
Ryo pulled back to look at him. “I am currently in a male form, and I find that I prefer it. Though I do not mind the features that I have hidden away.”  
  
Akira blinked at him in confusion.  
  
“ _Yes,_ Akira, I’m a boy,” Ryo clarified with impatience.  
  
“Okay,” Akira sighed with a smile. “Sorry, I was just a little confused.”  
  
“Mm,” Ryo replied, leaning back in again. He moved to straddle Akira, and began to kiss him up the other side of his neck. He shuddered at the touch.  
  
“Akira,” he purred, “don’t worry about me. I want this. I know you want it too. I can hear your heart.”  
  
Akira swallowed, his face reddening in an instant.  
  
Ryo cradled the back of Akira’s head in his hand, and kissed him on the mouth, dipping his tongue into his parted lips, out as quickly as it had entered. “If this gets me kicked out of Heaven, so be it. You’ve already given me more than I could have asked for. I won’t go down without a fight, but, if I get sent to Hell, I’ll carry this memory with me forever.”  
  
“Ryo…” Akira said, his eyes beginning to tear up.  
  
Ryo kissed him again, pulled back to whisper. “Please, Akira… [show me love.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO3Ebqr5V8s)”  
  
That did it.  
  
As if a switch had been thrown, Akira sprung to life, embracing Ryo and rolling them both over, until Ryo was on his back. He slid him upward, resting Ryo’s head on his pillow, then hovered over him. He smiled at him. “You’re sure?”  
  
“Yes,” Ryo said without hesitation.  
  
“Alright.” With that, Akira lowered himself onto Ryo.  
  
Ryo smiled involuntarily at their closeness. _Finally.  
  
__But…  
  
_“Ah, clothes,” Akira muttered, apparently thinking the same thing. “Uhh, hold on.”  
  
Akira closed his eyes, and in a second his clothes were gone. He opened his eyes, looking down at the still-clothed Ryo. “Ryo… ?”  
  
Ryo blinked up at him, swallowing. He would have preferred to take Akira’s clothes off himself, but after seeing Akira shirtless… there was no going back now. “...Alright.”  
  
The next moment, Ryo had willed off his clothing as well, the sudden cool air on his skin giving him a slight chill.  
  
_Heaven definitely makes this convenient.  
  
_They simply stared at one another for a moment, enjoying the sensation of their skin-to-skin contact. Their chests met, Akira’s strong heart beating next to Ryo’s own.  
  
Ryo caved first. “Akira,” he said, reaching up to pull his face toward his own, their lips meeting in the middle.  
  
Akira relented, kissing him back with vigor and abandon, Ryo struggling to keep up at first, before falling into passionate sync with his movements. He was getting better at this.  
  
Ryo slipped his tongue in, and Akira accepted it, stroking it with his own. Ryo felt almost light-headed, savoring Akira’s taste, and Akira seemed to enjoy Ryo’s taste just as much.  
  
Ryo felt heat pooling low in his abdomen; Akira was feeling the same way, if a certain member rubbing up against his leg now and then was any indication.  
  
Suddenly, Akira pulled back. “Hey,” he breathed. “I just remembered something.”  
  
“What,” Ryo said, resisting the urge to pout up at him.  
  
“There’s something people can do in Heaven that’s like sex, but like, advanced. It’s called merging.”  
  
“Merging? Like what demons did?”  
  
“Nah, not violent like that,” Akira said with a shake of his head. “It’s more like… two becoming one, temporarily. Miki told me about it. Her and Miko did it accidentally.”  
  
_“Accidentally?”_ Ryo gave a dubious frown.  
  
“Yeah,” Akira said with a laugh. “Apparently all you need is to have perfect trust and love in each other, and it can just happen. But she said they could will it into happening, too.”  
  
Ryo remembered what going into Akira’s memories via the Emulator was like, how he was able to see and feel everything that Akira had back then — he wondered if merging was the same as that, and how being inside Akira would feel now, away from the pain and despair he had felt in his memories.  
  
“I’m surprised she told you about it,” Ryo said. “It sounds very intimate.”  
  
Akira blushed a little at that. “We’re close like that, I guess. She said it was fun, and they’ve been closer ever since, like emotionally.” He rubbed at his neck. “I was wondering… if we could try doing that, too.”  
  
_Perfect trust and love…_ “I suppose it’s worth a shot. What do we have to do?”  
  
“Hmm…” Akira thought. “Well, I guess we could just do what we were doing? And kind of try to will it into happening while we’re doing that. Maybe if we think it at the same time… something will happen.”  
  
“Alright. Let’s try it,” Ryo said with a shrug.  
  
“Great,” Akira smiled, leaning back down. Their kisses resumed, their intensity building faster than before. Akira grasped onto Ryo’s hand, pinning it to the bed. He rolled his hips impulsively, causing Ryo to softly gasp.  
  
Refocusing, he remembered what Akira wanted to do. He squeezed his eyes shut, and split his concentration — one part on his current activity, and one part on his request.  
  
He focused, willing it with his whole being. _Merge. Merge with Akira. I want to feel him, and him to feel me.  
  
_He repeated it in his head like a mantra, waiting for something to happen as he kissed Akira.  
  
Just when he thought that it wasn’t going to work, his breath was swept from his lungs.  
  
A sensation like plunging, except upward, feeling his consciousness and very soul rising to meet Akira’s. Akira’s lowered to meet it, and, their eyes locking for a split second, they collided.  
  
Ryo gasped loudly, feeling that same thrown-into-a-pool sensation he had felt before, nearly pulling out of the merge on impulse before he forced himself back in. This was no time to let nerves take over.  
  
_He said it’s just temporary, so… nothing to be afraid of, right?  
  
_And with that, he surrendered, letting Akira in, letting himself fall into Akira’s embrace.  
  
He took a deep breath, feeling his lungs filling, and he felt another breath right after it — Akira’s.  
  
Ryo was still himself, but he was Akira too — his heart beat right alongside Akira’s, and he felt their physical closeness on both sides, his mouth on Akira’s, and how his lips felt to Akira’s own.  
  
They had merged — he was existing inside Akira, and Akira was existing in him. Their bodies were still separate physically, but their minds, their consciousnesses and souls had joined, so they felt as though they were one. They used no technology to bring this about — it was their bond alone that had joined them.  
  
_Hey, can you hear me?  
  
_Ryo perked up. It was Akira. _Yes. I can.  
  
__Good. I guess we can talk like this, then,_ Akira replied with a note of relief.  
  
Ryo observed that Akira’s inner voice sounded soft and gentle, like it had before his possession. It made him feel nostalgic.  
  
_Heh, it’s kinda weird, huh? I guess I’m still the same inside no matter what.  
  
_Ryo jolted. _Huh?  
  
__Oh, you were thinking to yourself? Sorry,_ Akira thought, somehow sounding sheepish. _We’re merged, so I can hear all your thoughts now, and you can hear mine. That’s… okay, right?  
  
_Ryo couldn’t help but feel uneasy.  
  
_Ryo…_ Akira kissed Ryo’s stilled lips, Ryo feeling the resulting tingling sensation on both sides. _I know it’s weird, but, we can really know each other this way. You can know me, and I can know you. There’s no hiding anything._ Akira caressed Ryo gently, Ryo relaxing in an instant.  
  
_...Perfect trust, huh.  
  
__Yeah,_ Akira thought. _Exactly. You trust me, right?  
  
_Ryo didn’t hesitate. _Of course.  
  
__Then I’ll trust you,_ Akira replied simply.  
  
Ryo kissed Akira back, feeling the pleasure Akira felt from it. _So, what now?  
  
__Uh… I wasn’t sure we’d get this far,_ Akira thought, a chuckle rising in his throat. _I guess since we’re like this… let’s explore each other?  
  
_Ryo felt Akira’s face heat up at that statement. _Alright.  
  
_Ryo focused, turning his attention inward; he found himself drawn once more to Akira’s heart — its familiar steady beat, accompanied by a deep, pleasant warmth. The despair that had weighed it down in the memories Ryo had experienced was gone completely.  
  
_Your heart’s so fluttery,_ Akira observed with a soft giggle, his attention apparently drawn toward the same place.  
  
_It’s an angel’s heart,_ Ryo replied. _Highly efficient.  
  
__It’s like a bird… it’s cute.  
  
_Akira laughed again when Ryo’s heart reacted to that.  
  
_Oh hey, we can figure out what feels good to each other this way too, huh?_ Akira thought.  
  
_I don’t think anything can feel_ bad _in this place,_ Ryo observed placidly.  
  
_Yeah, but, there’s good and then there’s better, right?_ Akira said, then began to caress Ryo’s body in earnest with one hand, steadying himself with the other.  
  
Ryo didn’t want to admit how good his touch felt — but then he realized he didn’t have to.  
  
His breath hitched when Akira’s fingertips brushed over one of his nipples, sending a pleasurable tingle through his nerves.  
  
_Oh,_ Akira thought, _that feels good to you, huh…  
  
_Ryo fixed him with a look. _I know what you just thought.  
  
_Akira looked away in embarrassment. Ryo felt his face heat up again.  
  
_I can put them back for you if you want me to. My breasts.  
  
_“No!” Akira said aloud, a little too loudly. Swallowing, he returned to unspoken communication. _N-no…  
  
__It’s no big deal. You would like them, I think.  
  
__M… maybe another time,_ Akira decided, and Ryo decided to let it go. For now.  
  
Ryo decided he liked Akira’s attention to his chest though, so he silently requested that he go back there; he instructed Akira to dip his head down to lick and gently suck at one of his nipples, then the other, them both shuddering with the sensation.  
  
_That’s good, Akira…_ Ryo praised. _Are you sure you don’t want me to have breasts?  
  
__Ryo…_ Akira whined, his face reddening further still.  
  
Ryo let out a chuckle, and he dropped the issue at last.  
  
Akira’s hand began to wander, lower and lower down Ryo’s body, his touch making Ryo’s skin tingle in its wake. His fingers grazed over Ryo’s length, his fingertips giving teasing, experimental touches over it and lower down, his balls and just behind them, measuring Ryo’s reactions.  
  
For Ryo it was both enjoyable and maddening — he knew that Akira knew how it was affecting him, how it made his length twitch in response. But, he also knew that Akira was feeling the same thing, by proxy — confirmed by the twitching he felt near his leg.  
  
Their pulses accelerated, faces reddening. Akira relented at last. _You want me to continue?  
  
__Yes,_ Ryo thought insistently. He gasped in a breath. _Wait. Do you want me to do the same to you, as well?  
  
__Nah, it’s alright,_ Akira smiled. _Your pleasure is enough for me.  
  
_Ryo sighed exasperatedly. _Of course. You’re always so giving, Akira.  
  
__Well, yeah. That’s what you do when you love someone, right?_ Akira leaned down to kiss Ryo again. Ryo kissed him back tenderly, feeling warmth blooming in their joined hearts.  
  
Akira grabbed Ryo’s length in a loose hold, and moved it up and down in an experimental fashion, running his thumb over the head, sending a jolt through Ryo, him letting out a soft, low moan after. _Good, Akira… more...  
  
_He heard and felt Akira give a thoughtful hum in his throat. _Wait. I wanna do something more than this.  
  
_Ryo tried not to be impatient, despite Akira’s hand still lingering on his length. _Like what?  
  
__You said you wanted me to show you love, right? Let me try something._ Akira thought eagerly. _You trust me, right?  
  
_Ryo panted lightly. _Yes.  
  
__Okay,_ Akira replied, giving Ryo another kiss.  
  
The next moment, his hand’s movements started up again, lazily, as his body pressed into Ryo’s. But something else pressed into Ryo too, within their bond — Ryo focused, and found that it was Akira’s very soul, pressing to his own. He realized that their souls hadn’t quite merged along with their consciousnesses — likely due to their differing natures, human and angel.  
  
Ryo would have to let him in.  
  
He beheld Akira’s soul for a moment — it was spherical and translucent, bright and shining, soft and warm, showing no sign of resistance as it pressed itself pliantly against Ryo’s golden, stalwart soul.  
  
Ryo sighed fondly, then focused, opening a small pathway for Akira’s soul to enter.  
  
The next moment, he gasped, as Akira’s liquid soul not only entered his, but surrounded it as well, cocooning it in warmth. Ryo stilled at the strange, alien sensation. Never before had his soul been breached like this — he never thought it _could.  
  
_But, nothing about it felt bad to him, or even wrong — this was _Akira,_ in his purest form, surrounding him and politely asking for unity. Ryo relaxed, and relented, allowing Akira full access — his soul blended with Akira’s, and Akira’s blended with his, them flowing into and along with one another in the fluid way only souls could manage, twisting and spiraling. Ryo could nearly _taste_ Akira’s essence — his kindness, his sense of justice, his compassion, his tenderness — everything that made Akira _Akira,_ was open to him and him alone.  
  
That, along with Akira’s tender touches to his most sensitive physical parts, sent Ryo straight into euphoria, his eyes falling shut. This was a pleasure he had never known — nothing on Earth could compare to it. He never dreamed he could be _this_ close to Akira.  
  
_Ryo…_ Akira said at last. _Show me what you think love is. Everything.  
  
_Ryo hesitated for half a second, before realizing that he could hide nothing from Akira now. So, he opened himself, revealing his feelings, the research he had done and the struggle he had made to get to this point, and the insecurities he still had — if Akira could spare enough love for him, even while surrounded by the humans he loved as well. If he was even worthy of being loved by him.  
  
_Ryo…_ Akira thought, sounding almost scolding. _I always knew you were a little jealous, but…_ he shook his head. Ryo got the wordless impression from him that he thought Ryo was being silly.  
  
Ryo pouted. Akira smiled at him.  
  
_Okay, I’ve got it,_ Akira said at last, then pressed to Ryo again, slipping his tongue into his mouth fluidly as he delivered another kiss.  
  
Ryo savored his taste, then a jolt went through him. Akira’s soul had made a sudden move — grasping a part of Ryo’s soul, pulling it into itself, making a direct connection. Akira’s essence flowed along their connection, causing Ryo to pull out of their kiss with a shuddering breath, his eyes fluttering shut again.  
  
Accompanying it came pure emotion, the feeling of _love_ drowning his senses.  
  
Next came Akira’s consciousness, showing him vivid images of everyone he had ever met, starting with Ryo himself, then his parents, then the Makimuras, then his friends and neighbors — the sensation of Akira’s love swelling more and more with every image and happy memory he witnessed, filling Ryo so completely he could hardly breathe.  
  
It didn’t stop — Akira’s circle extended on and on, further outward, to friends of friends, to acquaintances, to people he barely knew, to people he didn’t. To animals, to strangers, even to people who had wronged him. With every extension, Akira’s love did not diminish — it only grew, love building upon love.  
  
The image Akira’s consciousness showed him seemed to zoom out, and Ryo saw the entire Earth in his mind’s eye.  
  
And Akira loved it, too.  
  
Not a blind love — a love of its beauty, of its potential and possibility, a love of the place humanity called home.  
  
A love of humanity.  
  
If Akira’s love were water, Ryo would have drowned by now.  
  
Michael had been right. Akira’s love was enough to cover the entire Earth — it had no limits. No matter how much love he gave to others, it never reduced the amount of love he had to give.  
  
And right at the epicenter of Akira’s love… was Ryo.  
  
Ryo never had anything to worry about.  
  
_Ryo,_ Akira said. _This is love.  
  
_Ryo gasped, feeling tears running down his face. His back arched, as Akira’s soul swirled along their connection, as Akira’s hand increased its movements.  
  
An impulse went through Ryo’s blissed-out mind, and his soul caressed Akira’s in return, his hand reaching down in a flash to take hold of Akira’s length.  
  
Akira gasped. _Ryo, no,_ he scolded, even his thoughts sounding choked. Ryo knew Akira was overwhelmed enough by Ryo’s bliss, sensing the tears that ran down his face as well, but he couldn’t stop himself.  
  
Ryo stroked Akira’s length with vigor, as his soul lovingly caressed Akira’s, Akira returning both gestures in equal shares, panting in his ear.  
  
Their hearts raced side by side. Warmth pooled in their chests as pleasure ran through their every nerve. They moved in sync, body and soul, faster and faster still.  
  
Their souls swirled around each other, a pleasure neither of them could name nor describe building and building, not knowing where it would lead but not caring in the slightest.  
  
Time was irrelevant to them — they could have stayed like this forever, in perpetual mutual bliss.  
  
And then, they hit their peak.  
  
Their bodies shuddered, their united souls swelling in pure warm light, the sensation rushing fast through them, overtaking their senses. A shudder went through the air around them, and they both screamed aloud as they climaxed simultaneously, their united light flashed brightly around them as Ryo’s voice hit a high falsetto befitting of an angel.  
  
The light faded, and they both went limp, Akira collapsing atop Ryo’s chest, their chests rising in sync as they each caught their breath. Both their minds were drenched in a blissful fog, feeling like they might as well have been floating.  
  
Ryo turned his head, kissed the side of Akira’s face. _Want to pull out of the merge?  
  
_Akira panted. _In a minute. Or so.  
  
__Alright.  
  
_He had only asked out of consideration. Ryo didn’t mind being merged with Akira in the slightest, basking in his warmth and love.  
  
Love.  
  
Akira truly loved him, and accepted Ryo’s love.  
  
His heart leapt at the thought.  
  
_Yeah,_ Akira thought, interrupting Ryo’s thoughts. _I didn’t realize it for a while, but… I guess I’ve loved you for a long time._ He looked into Ryo’s eyes, smiled, and leaned in to kiss him.  
  
_Me too,_ Ryo replied, kissing him back.  
  
Somewhere, just past their floating minds, they could feel a cooling sensation on their skin, of liquid left to evaporate.  
  
_Ah,_ Akira jolted. _Let me clean us up.  
  
_He leaned backward, to observe the mess they had made. Ryo looked down too.  
  
_Well, apparently_ that _still works in Heaven.  
  
_Akira gave a little embarrassed laugh, then closed his eyes. The next moment, the ejaculate was gone from their skin, not a trace left.  
  
_...Heaven makes this way too easy,_ Ryo thought, making Akira laugh.  
  
Akira sighed, and turned to flop on his side, right beside Ryo. His breaths were still coming fast, as he turned to look at Ryo. _Okay. I think I’m ready to pull out now. Are you?  
  
_Ryo sighed wistfully. _Yeah. I’m ready to be just me again.  
  
_Akira smiled. _Good.  
  
_Ryo closed his eyes, focusing, first on their souls, which were still softly curled around one another. They gently pulled apart, Ryo’s giving Akira’s a tender caress before they parted, sending a slight shiver through Akira’s body.  
  
Then they refocused, pulling back their consciousnesses into themselves — and it worked, them detaching smoothly with little effort, in an instant they were separate again. Ryo let out a breath, still feeling like a piece of him had been left in Akira. He looked over to him, found him meeting his eyes. Perhaps he felt the same way.  
  
Akira broke out into a wide smile. “That was amazing.”  
  
Ryo smiled back. “It was.”  
  
“If you don’t get punished or anything… I’d like to do that with you again sometime,” Akira blushed.  
  
That longing feeling returned in Ryo’s chest, as though his very being missed being at one with Akira’s already. “I would like that.”  
  
Akira lay his head back, looking at the ceiling with a soft sigh. Ryo looked up as well, collecting his thoughts as his breaths slowed.  
  
Akira’s hand found Ryo’s, and held it tenderly. Ryo’s eyebrows lifted.  
  
“I wish we could live a life together again, on Earth. Just as humans,” Akira said in a soft voice, almost to himself.  
  
Ryo gave a wistful sigh. “I can never _be_ human, Akira. I’m an entirely different species. It would be like a lion trying to become a rabbit.” It didn’t make him happy, or reassure him in the slightest — these were just the facts. Akira had to accept them, and so did he.  
  
Akira looked to him. “You could pretend. Like you did before.”  
  
Ryo blinked at him, before a smile slowly emerged. “I suppose I could.”  
  
Before he could say any more, Akira let out a large yawn. Ryo found himself following it with a small yawn of his own.  
  
_A subconscious empathetic reaction… I remember reading about that. How strange.  
  
_“Ahh… I’m beat. I think I’m gonna sleep for a little bit,” Akira said, slipping into his bedspread and sheets. He smiled crookedly at Ryo. “Wanna join me?”  
  
Ryo’s chest fluttered. He did feel tired as well — and he certainly wasn’t going to ask Michael for manna right now. “Yeah. Sure.”  
  
Akira lifted up the covers in invitation, allowing Ryo to slip inside with ease, covering him after he had re-entered the bed.  
  
Lying naked next to each other, Ryo wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself, until Akira’s arm snaked around him, pulling him close. Ryo looked up, and saw Akira’s eyes falling shut, nodding off to sleep already.  
  
Ryo smiled, and relaxed, resting his head upon Akira’s shoulder and chest, his slowed breaths and heartbeat lulling him to sleep as well.  
  
Part of him wished that they could stay like this forever.  
  
“I love you, Akira,” he whispered, just before his consciousness slipped away from him.

* * *

  
“-ucifer.”  
  
“Nn.”  
  
“Lucifer.”  
  
“Nnn.”  
  
_“Lucifer.”  
  
_“That’s not my name,” Ryo groaned sleepily.  
  
_“Wake up.”  
  
_Ryo turned over, opening his eyes. They were greeted by a stern, golden visage.  
  
“Michael…” he muttered in mild annoyance. Akira was still sleeping soundly beside him.  
  
“The Heavenly Council’s convening, and God has requested your attendance,” Michael said in an urgent voice. “We must go and prepare.”  
  
Ryo blinked at him, then rolled back over. “Five more minutes.”  
  
_“Now,”_ Michael said, reaching for him. He grabbed his arm and tugged him out from under the covers.  
  
A bolt of fear went through Ryo, realizing what was happening. “No!” he exclaimed, struggling in Michael’s hold. “Let me tell Akira!”  
  
“There’s no time,” Michael said, hurriedly pulling Ryo to his side.  
  
“Akira-!” His voice was cut off by Michael’s hand on his mouth, and their quick departure afterward.  
  
Akira shifted in place, stirring lightly. He sat up, looking around, and found the space beside him vacant.  
  
“Ryo… ?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the editing process, I really tried to clarify the soul sex portion of this fic as best as I could, but it probably still doesn't make much sense ^^' Oh me and my recent fondness for otherworldly sex...  
> When I first heard the term 'soul sex' and 'ryokira' used in the same sentence, about how there hadn't been a fic with it yet (at that time), I decided I wanted to try it out in this fic (you guys deserve a payoff after reading all this build-up, as do Ryo and Akira), so I sought out an example of it I could base my take on it on. The most applicable example I found (in fanfic form) was in [a destiel fic; feel free to give it a read](https://archiveofourown.org/works/662225), it's pretty good imo. (and probably better than my take on the trope, lmao... I tried)  
> (I also took some liberties from a concept I read about in one of my mom's old books that was authored by a psychic, lol)
> 
> If you're having trouble envisioning the souls... imagine them as slimes. Seriously, it helps.  
> (I've been reading some of That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime recently...)
> 
> Also, have this silly thing I came up with after I wrote this chapter:
> 
> Ryo and Akira: /start going at it  
> Michael: "Lord... L-Lord I think they're having intercourse... I do not know the protocol for this. Lord? What do I do? Lord?!"  
> God: [.........](https://youtu.be/kbFvt9eLqVs?t=77)
> 
> (if the above link dies at any point pls tell me)


	9. All This and Heaven Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that little cliffhanger, I just had to.  
> Belatedly (as in, just now) I realized that I forgot to add in a new song I'd found that fit a scene in the previous chapter - I can't think of a place I could smoothly add it into now, [so here, have a listen.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTN5Wcb8yMg)  
> Most of this chapter doesn't have any single song for its theme - full disclosure, I listened to [a playlist of indie Christian songs](https://open.spotify.com/user/dankchiefkeefe/playlist/0dLcvtg3Kz45nz7NshSBaf) (that I found linked on a youtube video about why most Christian music is so boring/bad and how it doesn't have to be - which I stumbled across on twitter) while writing the scene with the Heavenly Council to help set the mood as I was writing it. I won't _make_ you listen to it, it's pretty lengthy, but it's there if you're curious.  
> ([Here's the video I mentioned as well](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE4_dHW0nWk), which I personally found interesting from my outsider perspective - warning for a couple loud bursts of music)
> 
> We're almost at the end, guys! :'3 -softly wheezes-

Michael and Ryo reappeared in a pure white space, empty save for the two of them. The still-naked Ryo continued to wriggle fruitlessly in his hold.  
  
“Stop struggling,” Michael said with the tone of a weary parent. He let him go to stand on his own, Ryo whirling to face him.  
  
“Is this about me fucking a human?”  
  
_“Language.”  
  
_“Is this about me _forking_ a human?”  
  
“...I do not know,” Michael replied. “Probably not. All I know is that God expects you to make a decision now about where your place in Heaven will be.”  
  
“Great timing,” Ryo groused. “Why does the Heavenly Council have to be assembled for this? I was let in without them around.”  
  
“They were all preoccupied at the time with finding lost souls on Earth. I was the only angel who stayed behind, because I was tasked with… well, you know,” Michael replied.  
  
“Right,” Ryo said, crossing his arms. “...Sorry for overreacting. I don’t exactly have good memories of the Heavenly Council.”  
  
“That is understandable,” Michael said, smoothing out his hair. “True form, please.”  
  
Ryo transformed in a second, wings unfurling behind him.  
  
“Thank you for your cooperation, Lucifer.”  
  
“Don’t call me that,” Ryo said quietly.  
  
Michael raised an eyebrow. “...Samael?”  
  
“Not that, either.”  
  
“Then what shall I call you?” Michael said.  
  
Ryo sighed. “...I don’t know anymore. I don’t know _who_ I am anymore. I’m not who I used to be.”  
  
Michael thought. “Well, what about ‘Ryo’? That was the name you chose for yourself, on Earth.”  
  
“That was a false identity based on fabricated memories,” Ryo shook his head. “A fake human. To live as ‘Ryo’ would be living a lie.”  
  
“Hmm,” Michael mused. “Though it was a false identity… the experiences you had were real. It was real to you, for that time. It’s the identity you have the strongest memories of, correct?”  
  
Ryo blinked, and nodded once.  
  
“And those memories shaped you into the person you are now, and guided your path here. You are who you are now, _because_ you were Ryo. The Lucifer I knew… he wouldn’t have come back here like you did.” Michael looked down, a sad look in his eyes.  
  
Ryo remained silent, thinking.  
  
“And,” Michael continued, looking back up at Ryo. “It’s the identity that Akira came to love.”  
  
That hit home.  
  
He wasn’t who he started out as — Samael, God’s favored archangel. He was no longer what he became — Lucifer, the name given to him after his rebellion and fall. He was Satan, the adversary, no longer — it had been more a title than a true name.  
  
He was no longer any of those beings. Who he was now, didn’t have a name attached to it.  
  
All that was left… was Ryo.  
  
He let out a pent-up sigh, and smiled crookedly, looking back to the other angel. “You’re very observant, Michael.”  
  
“It’s what I’ve been tasked with for all these years,” Michael replied easily.  
  
“Well…” Ryo said, looking upward. “I can’t think of anything better, so I suppose ‘Ryo’ is fine.”  
  
“Very well,” Michael nodded.  
  
“...Will you defend me?” Ryo asked in a small voice. “If they start to build a case against me.”  
  
Michael took a long look at him, then let out a sigh. “You know my position on this, Ryo. I serve God and Heaven above all else.”  
  
“That’s not what I was asking.” Ryo faced him. “If they start coming down on me without hearing my side, start arguing for me to be thrown out of Heaven for my crimes, will you take my defense?”  
  
Michael looked at him, his brows knit. “...Well, I have been by your side all this time. I have borne witness to the changes and revelations you have made, and… I believe in the person you have become. In the potential you have. And, this is as much my responsibility as it is yours — if it comes to actions being questioned, I will defend us both.”  
  
Ryo raised his brows. “Even against God?”  
  
Michael’s mouth worked soundlessly for a moment, his expression contorting. He set his jaw. “I… I believe in you, Ryo. I cannot see why God wouldn’t as well. But, I… I… Gah!” He suddenly clutched his head, falling to his knees. “I can’t… I can’t go against God… Please, don’t ask me to choose between my brother and my Lord…” he trembled. “I… I actually considered it… for a second...”  
  
Ryo patted his shoulder lightly. “There, there. I understand. You tried.”  
  
Michael let out a shuddering breath, rising to his feet. “You’re still too adept at tempting others. I will have to punish myself for that for later.”  
  
_Still so thorough._ “Sorry,” Ryo said, then shrugged. “It’s who I am.”  
  
Michael made an irritated noise in his throat. “Don’t make me regret giving you a second chance. Don’t make God regret it, either.”  
  
“Got it,” Ryo nodded.  
  
“Are you ready?”  
  
“Yes. Ready as I’ll ever be.”  
  
Michael smoothed his hair again, and checked his golden armor for any blemishes, then reached for Ryo.  
  
As Michael took his hand, Ryo thought on his decision.  
  
_Ryo… an identity I’ve made for myself, instead of one chosen for me by God or anyone else.  
  
__...I like it.  
  
_A pathway of pure light opened before them, and together they entered it.  
  
On the other side of it, the atmosphere notably shifted.  
  
Ryo softly gasped on impulse at the sight before him.  
  
Filling his vision, as far as he could see, was the entirety of the Heavenly Host, every kind of angel in Heaven, gathered in one place, each of them surrounded by their own halo of holy light. They sensed his arrival, all looking in his direction at once. It sent a shiver down Ryo’s spine.  
  
The strongest memory he had of his prior life in Heaven — of being judged and cast down to Earth, by this very group — came back to him in a rush. Impulsively he clutched Michael’s hand tighter, as his body began to tremble in an all-too-human way.  
  
Michael didn’t mind it, and led him forward, staring unwaveringly ahead.  
  
The angels were split into two even groups, flanking the right and left, staggered upward as though they were in stadium seating, creating a path in the middle for Michael and Ryo to walk. There was almost no noise, the only sounds were the shifting of wings, the eerie stillness doing little to settle Ryo’s nerves.  
  
“It would help if you spoke with them,” Michael advised, leaning to speak into his ear. “Assure them that there are no hard feelings.”  
  
“Right,” Ryo said reluctantly. He gazed at the gathered groups, deciding which ones would be most receptive to him. He took a deep breath to calm himself, steady his nerves so that he could focus.  
  
He waved to the countless Earthly angels — ones who had watched over mankind, possessing but a single pair of wings — saying “Hello” when they didn’t respond. They continued to stare at him.  
  
He looked upward, seeing the other archangels, who regarded him just as coldly. He nodded at them in deference regardless.  
  
The Principalities, the Virtues, the Dominions, all regarded him just the same way, or not at all, waiting for the judgment of God.  
  
The further he and Michael went, the higher orders of angels became clearer — the ones that served closest to God, whose visages did not resemble humans in the slightest.  
  
Ryo scanned this crowd up and down. The floating Seraphim in the air, with their multitude of wings covering their large bodies, leaving only a single eye exposed, were hard to miss. As were the Cherubim, whose mix of animal and human traits were both intimidating and bizarre. He spotted angels of another kind, and perked up instantly.  
  
“Ah! The Thrones.” Ryo let go of Michael’s hand, and walked over to a division of angels notably different from the others — their bodies consisting of winged wheels covered with a multitude of eyes, all watching him. Their disturbing appearances notwithstanding, they were Ryo’s favorites — they were humble, neutral observers, watching everything that transpired in Heaven, Earth, and beyond, and concerned themselves with celestial law and justice. Before he had been cast out, even though they had ultimately decided in favor of it, Ryo felt that the Thrones were the only angel order that had judged him with true fairness, taking his views into consideration. If he had to curry favor from any group of angel, the Thrones were the way to go.  
  
“It’s been a while,” he smiled, walking up to them as one of them flew down to meet him. “How have you all been?”  
  
“SCREEEEEECH.”  
  
“Ah, that’s understandable. How do you feel about my case?”  
  
“SCRAAAAAAA.”  
  
“Mm. Is that a consensus among the rest of the Thrones, or can’t you say?”  
  
“SCREEEEEEEE.”  
  
“Right. Well, it was good catching up.”  
  
“RAAAAAAAA.”  
  
Ryo nodded at them, then walked back to Michael.  
  
“What did they say? I couldn’t quite make it out,” Michael asked him.  
  
“The one I spoke with felt uncertain,” Ryo replied. “They were surprised that I returned to Heaven and was given a second chance. But they are looking forward to the decision that is made.”  
  
“So they don’t know what will happen either,” Michael mused, looking forward again.  
  
“It appears so,” Ryo said. “The one I spoke with seemed favorable, at least.”  
  
Michael nodded, and walked forward with Ryo by his side. Ryo did not try to communicate further with the higher orders of angels — lest they incinerate him on the spot.  
  
“We’re nearly there,” Michael whispered to Ryo. “Prepare yourself.”  
  
Ryo took a deep breath, as they approached the rotunda just ahead.  
  
Entering it, he and Michael stepped into the middle of the white marble circle. Then, seeming to sense something Ryo didn’t, Michael stepped back.  
  
Just as Ryo looked back at him, he heard and felt a _crack.  
  
_A sense of electricity hung in the air, and instantly Ryo knew what it was.  
  
A shudder went through the gathered angels, who began to chant and sing praise.  
  
God’s energy had entered this space. He would appear soon.  
  
Before Ryo’s eyes, to the swell of song and prayer, a form began to materialize in front of him.  
  
With a burst of light and a gasp that rose up from the Heavenly Host, it was complete. Ryo blinked to adjust his vision.  
  
God had appeared.  
  
The angels fell silent, taking in the sight of Him.  
  
“Lord,” Michael addressed Him, bowing instantly. “Glory be to You.”  
  
Ryo held his tongue, simply observing, until Michael gave him a light nudge, and he gave a hurried, reluctant bow in response.  
  
God regarded them kindly. _Do you know why I summoned the both of you here?  
  
_Michael didn’t respond, so Ryo spoke up. “...Because I merged with Akira?”  
  
“I-I-I did not know what the protocol for that was, my Lord!” Michael butt in, frazzled in an instant. “I waited for Your call, but I never got one, so I let them carry on… w-was I supposed to make a decision on my own, Lord? I-”  
  
_Michael.  
  
_Michael was silenced in an instant, Ryo feeling the draft of a wave of reassurance that was sent his brother’s way. Michael eased, letting out a relieved sigh as he smiled blissfully at God.  
  
“I apologize. I only ever want to do my best for You, my Lord.”  
  
God regarded him warmly. _It is fine, Michael. You have done well.  
  
_Michael beamed happily, all his worries and cares evaporated. Ryo stared at him, keeping his facial expression neutral as he felt a small pang of jealousy deep down.  
  
_I did not respond because I allowed it to continue.  
  
_Ryo looked back at God. “Wait, so that was _allowed?”  
  
__Yes,_ God replied serenely.  
  
Ryo smiled. “Heaven really has changed.”  
  
_A merge between a human and an angel would typically not be possible, or allowed. It was made possible by your bond with Akira Fudo, and I allowed it for a reason. That reason is why you are standing here now,_ God continued. _I feel that you are now ready.  
  
_“Ready?” Ryo repeated.  
  
_Yes. Tell Me. Have you learned what love is?  
  
_Ryo stared at him, as he realized that there was only one answer to that.  
  
“...I have.”  
  
_Then tell us, what you have learned.  
  
_Ryo took a deep breath, thinking over his words. Michael’s words echoed in his head once again — _let your heart lead the way.  
  
_“...Love is not exclusive. I… was selfish in love, before. I only thought about my love for Akira, not at all of Akira’s love for other humans, and of the Earth. I thought only he was worth saving… and, I didn’t want anyone else to compete with. But… Akira showed me,” Ryo smiled. “He showed me that his love for others didn’t diminish his love for me. That love is meant to be shared, and passed along. I still love Akira most of all, but…” he placed a hand to his chest. “I think I’ve come to love others, as well. And humanity, by extension. Because… what I love about Akira, are the things the rest of humanity is capable of, as well. And… loving Akira means having love for what _he_ loves, as well. I never… I never want to make him cry again.”  
  
Ryo clutched his chest, his voice wavering as tears threatened to fall. “I love him… I love Akira. I love everything that is important to him. I never want to lose him again… I know where I went wrong. I’ll never make the same mistake again…”  
  
Ryo choked out a sob, running out of words. As he felt tears beginning to fall, he let out a gasp, looking upward in surprise. God’s Grace had come at him, wrapping around him in a warm, comforting embrace. He saw God smiling at him, as he stared back with widened eyes.  
  
_There, there, My child. You have done well. I would add, that having love for all is not only for their potential, but for what they have to give already, their place within the very fabric of existence. Akira is who he is, partly because of the people around him who helped to form him — the ones he loved, even those who were unkind to him. Every being has their purpose for being, Samael. Learn this as well.  
  
_Ryo couldn’t help but be reminded of their old conflict, a bitter taste on his tongue. “...Even demons?”  
  
Ryo could’ve sworn he heard God _sigh.  
  
__Demons were a challenge for humankind to overcome. Humanity would have overcome them, had you not empowered the demons. May we not argue about this again? You have conceded in your fight with Me, correct?  
  
_Ryo sighed silently. “...Correct.” Thinking better of it, a small shred of his pride wriggling back to life, he shook his head, and added, “I cannot concede that all of Your actions were justified, but… neither were mine.”  
  
God nodded affirmatively, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, letting the statement lie where it was.  
  
_Do you indeed love humanity now, as much as you loved demons?  
  
_A small smile emerged on Ryo’s face. “...I do. Perhaps even more so. What I love about Akira… is something no demon possesses. I can see why You love humans so.”  
  
God smiled again. _At last. Do you truly realize the mistake you made, now?  
  
_Ryo nodded. “I do.”  
  
God nodded. _Then, I have just one more question. Have you decided where your place here will be? As promised, I will let you choose.  
  
_“May I ask You a question first?”  
  
_You may.  
  
_Ryo straightened. “Will you recreate Earth?”  
  
Ryo heard a soft gasp from Michael, who fixed him with a look of surprise, as the rest of the angels stirred.  
  
_...I will. We are not yet ready to do so, and it will take time for Earth to be able to sustain life again, but that is My plan. Humankind will live on Earth again.  
  
_“I see,” Ryo nodded. “Then I have made my decision.”  
  
_Let us hear it.  
  
_Ryo squared his shoulders, filled his voice with the conviction he felt. He was uncertain no longer.  
  
“I want to live on Earth again. With Akira. As a human.”  
  
The gathering of angels around them muttered in astonishment. God, however, did not seem surprised.  
  
_You do realize that an angel cannot truly become a human?  
  
_“I do. I passed for one during my time on Earth, however. I do not see why it would not be possible to do so again. Besides,” Ryo looked up at God and gave a crooked smile. “I do not think I am fit to serve amongst the ranks of your Heavenly Host anymore, anyway.”  
  
Something happened that made even Michael’s eyes go wide.  
  
God _laughed.  
  
__You do have a point,_ He smiled. _During your journey, in your time spent on Earth and among humans here in Heaven, you have gained qualities that My other angels do not possess. You are an angel, but you have gained humanity. You understand humankind in a way no other angel can, because you have seen through human eyes. I cast you down to Earth to teach you a lesson, but, perhaps in that, you have found your true purpose.  
  
_Ryo’s eyebrows raised slightly. “And that is?”  
  
_I have a proposal for you, Samael, in light of this.  
  
_“Yes?”  
  
_As the most human of my angels, you are in a unique position, and can do what My other angels cannot — interact directly with humans, face to face, and act boldly in their defense. Samael, I propose that in your time on Earth with Akira, you shall use your powers to defend mankind. Fight for humanity like you once fought for demons. Protect them like you protected Akira Fudo.  
  
_Ryo blinked in surprise, processing.  
  
God met his eyes. _What do you say, Samael? Will you promise Me this, if I return you to Earth?  
  
_Ryo paused, then let out a sigh, and smiled. “If You had asked me that when I first got here, I probably would have laughed in Your face. I suppose I really have changed…”  
  
Michael smiled at him in encouragement, beaming in near-pride.  
  
“But… I see humans differently now. I… _want_ to protect them, not just for Akira’s sake. I greatly underestimated them, before.”  
  
Ryo met God’s eyes. “So, I accept. You will allow me the same agency of free will that You give to humans, correct?”  
  
_Correct,_ God nodded with a smile. _Use it well, My child. I look forward to seeing how you will defend creation.  
  
_Ryo could hardly contain his excitement. God was going to allow him to live on Earth again, with Akira — protecting humanity was a catch he could live with. He bowed sincerely. “Thank you.”  
  
_As you have fulfilled what I tasked you with, I will allow you to remain in the human realm of Heaven until Earth is recreated, then let you and Akira decide when you will reincarnate.  
  
_“Sounds perfect,” Ryo said. “Will any of my restrictions be lifted?”  
  
_Yes. Free spectral travel will now be available to you. You will also be able to use some of your angelic powers, depending on how you use them.  
  
_Ryo smiled. This was way too good to be true. “Wait… don’t I have to be punished? For everything I did?”  
  
God gave him a look that was nothing less than serene. _You have suffered enough. You have realized your wrongs, and worked to right them yourself, to begin to earn forgiveness from those you have harmed. In doing so, you have earned My forgiveness.  
  
_Ryo’s jaw dropped involuntarily, the air knocked out of him. Michael looked positively _elated,_ his wings trembling in barely-contained excitement of his own.  
  
Ryo’s mouth moved uselessly for a second. “...Really?”  
  
God gave a single, solemn nod.  
  
_Go in peace, My child. Wait patiently for Earth’s renewal.  
  
_Michael floated to Ryo’s side, giving him an approving smile. Ryo stared back at him, still in disbelief that this was happening.  
  
God looked to the Heavenly Host, and as though responding to an unspoken command, the Thrones flew to Him.  
  
_Do you concur with My judgment? Is there anything that I have missed?  
  
_Ryo felt a small shiver as he awaited the Thrones’ reply. The Thrones’ voices were such that to anyone other than their intended listener, they sounded like nothing more than unearthly screeches. But, to Ryo’s relief, with concentration he found that he could understand what they were saying, hear the words buried within their screeches, which he took as a good sign; they wanted him to hear their answer as well.  
  
_“His changes have surprised us. Although, we sense that he still feels a fondness for demons, that he still disagrees with You about their treatment. Normally, that would concern us, that he may try to oppose You once again. Some of us are still concerned about that. But, the factor of Akira Fudo cannot be underestimated. His fate and the fate of humanity are intertwined, and Samael’s soul is linked with Akira’s, in word and in bond. So, we concur with Your judgment, Lord. We greatly look forward to the results.”  
  
_God nodded affirmatively, and the Thrones flew back to their positions promptly. Ryo’s shoulders eased, as he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  
  
Michael looked back up to God. “Will I have to keep watch over him still, Lord?”  
  
_You will not. You have important work to return to, and you will be helping Me restore the Earth. You are welcome to visit Samael whenever you wish, however.  
  
_Ryo heard Michael let out a barely audible sigh, before he nodded. “Understood, my Lord. May I escort him back to the human realm, so I can bid him farewell?”  
  
_You may.  
  
_“Thank you, Lord,” Michael bowed.  
  
“Wait,” Ryo said. “I have one more request.”  
  
_Yes?  
  
_“Call me Ryo, from now on. I will take that name in my human life, as well.”  
  
God smiled, His eyes shining. _Very well. Ryo.  
  
_God turned to the gathered angels of the Council. _This is My decree. Do you all concur?  
  
_The angels’ voices raised in approval, in unison.  
  
_Then go forth. I declare this Heavenly Council adjourned.  
  
_With that, the angels began to disperse in a great fluttering of wings, and God’s visage faded, His being returning to pure energy that left as quickly as it had come, like a bolt of lightning, the electricity of it still palpable in the air. Ryo stood motionless for a moment, staring in stunned disbelief.  
  
As Michael took Ryo’s hand, turning him to leave the higher realm, Ryo felt like he was floating himself. Some of the other angels flew past them, nodding to them in acknowledgment, their coldness having melted away. Even the Thrones showed their approval, screeching affirmatively as they flew by Michael and Ryo.  
  
Once they were alone again, returning to the space where they had prepared themselves, Ryo let out a light sigh.  
  
“You seem happy,” Michael said with a smile.  
  
“I think…” Ryo smiled softly. “God doesn’t hate me anymore.”  
  
Michael gave a soft laugh, patting Ryo on the shoulder. “You’re still a little slow, aren’t you,” he teased. Ryo gave him a playful shove.  
  
“Well, I guess you were right. I _did_ have the ability to change,” Ryo said. “Sorry I won’t be serving by your side again.”  
  
“It’s alright, I’m not surprised,” Michael said lightly, waving off Ryo’s show of concern. “And, as God said, perhaps this was your true calling all along. I apologize for being selfish. This time we’ve spent together… it’s been more than I could have ever hoped for,” he smiled with satisfaction. “I have to be grateful for that.”  
  
“Mm,” Ryo replied. “I won’t ask you to join me or anything like that. Your place is by God’s side. That’s where you’re supposed to be. It’s plain to see. You love serving God and being loved by Him.”  
  
Michael smiled brightly, his eyes twinkling. “It’s true. I do love God. I could never be without Him.”  
  
Ryo’s thoughts wandered to Akira. “...I think I know what you mean.”  
  
Michael turned Ryo to face him. He showed him a wistful smile. “I’ll miss you, Ryo.” Awkwardly, he moved to hug Ryo, Ryo freezing in place as his cold metal armor touched his bare skin.  
  
Ryo raised his arms in an attempt to return the gesture, though he doubted Michael could feel it through the armor. “...I’ll miss you too, I guess. It’s been good to have another angel to talk to. Even if it’s been _you.”  
  
_Michael laughed softly, pulling back. “I’ll visit you whenever I can, before you go back to Earth, I promise,” he said, holding Ryo’s hands in his.  
  
“You don’t have to,” Ryo said quickly, “I’m sure you’ll have a lot of work ahead of you. Put that first.”  
  
“Right right, of course,” Michael said a little sheepishly. “Well, I’ll visit you at least _once.”  
  
_Ryo sighed. “Fine,” he conceded with a small smile.  
  
“I’ll let you go now,” Michael said, then placed his hands on Ryo’s shoulders, causing him to look up at him, their blue eyes meeting. Michael smiled. “Do your best, Ryo. As long as you’re serving God and humans… well, at least humans,” he smirked, “I’ll be proud to call you my brother.”  
  
Ryo smiled back at him. “Thanks, Michael.”  
  
Michael let go of him, then stepped away. “Now behave yourself. Don’t make me get out the chains,” he said, pointing back at him with a lighthearted grin.  
  
Ryo scoffed. “Got it, brother,” he saluted exaggeratedly.  
  
Michael waved to him, looking wistful already, then vanished from sight.  
  
Ryo let out a breath, letting it all sink in.  
  
As his mind processed what had just taken place, his face suddenly slackened. In his Light-soaked euphoria, he hadn’t even realized it until now.  
  
“...I just abdicated myself, didn’t I.”  
  
_Satan,_ the self-proclaimed _king of the demons,_ had just abdicated his throne. For _humans.  
  
__The demons won’t be happy about this…  
  
_Ryo shrugged then. _I’ll deal with that later. For now, the demons are dead. I’d rather think about something else.  
  
_Ryo paused. _Shit. I should’ve asked Michael how to use spectral travel. Well, Akira made it look easy, so…  
  
_Ryo closed his eyes, changed his form back to his human one, then envisioned Akira’s house and bedroom, willing himself there. He felt a shift, and when he opened his eyes, [he found himself in Akira’s room again.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hg4ZWJiHPks)  
  
_It worked,_ Ryo smiled. _But Akira’s not here… I wonder how long it’s been. He must be worried about me.  
  
_Feeling a newfound sense of urgency — remembering how he had left him so abruptly — Ryo closed his eyes again. _Take me to wherever Akira Fudo is. Please.  
  
_He felt another shift, and the air around him changed. His nose picked up floral notes before he opened his eyes.  
  
“The garden,” he muttered. Casting his gaze around, he didn’t see Akira. He began to run.  
  
“Akira! Akiraaaa!!”  
  
His eyes scanned the path ahead of him, his feet quickly carrying him to the gazebos.  
  
“Akiraaaa!!!”  
  
Looking out over the gazebos, his heart leapt.  
  
There, at the same gazebo where they had shared their first kiss, Akira sat on its edge, his posture slouched but his head raised, listening, looking for the source of the voice he had heard.  
  
“Akira!!” Ryo exclaimed once more, his vision fixing on Akira alone.  
  
“Ryo?” Akira said, nearly stumbling as he got to his feet. Focusing on him, he broke into a wide smile, his eyes shining. “Ryo!!!”  
  
He took off in half a second, sprinting to meet him.  
  
In seconds they met, Ryo slowing only to catch Akira in his arms and spin the both of them around once, then holding onto him tight.  
  
“Akira,” he said softly, clutching his shirt, breathing in his scent, any doubts he had about his decision evaporating in an instant.  
  
“Ryo,” Akira said, his voice already choked up. He hugged him even tighter. “I, I thought you were gone… that I’d never see you again…” he sobbed.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Ryo said, his hand finding Akira’s hair and threading his fingers through it, petting his soft locks. “I won’t do that again. I can stay, Akira.”  
  
Akira pulled back, tear tracks clearly having already made their way down his face. He sniffled.  “You can stay? Really?”  
  
Ryo smiled, took Akira’s hands in his. “Yes. God told me so. He forgave me. Michael doesn’t have to watch me anymore either. I’m free!”  
  
Akira lit up, and hugged Ryo again. “You did it! We can stay in Heaven together! I’m so happy!!”  
  
“And guess what else?”  
  
Akira pulled back, still grinning. “What?”  
  
“Did you mean what you said, about wishing we could live on Earth again?”  
  
“Yeah. Why?”  
  
Ryo leaned in, lowering his voice. “Because God said He’s going to remake the Earth. And I asked Him to let me live on it again, with you. He said yes.”  
  
Akira gasped, his eyes welling anew. “Ryo… you mean it?”  
  
“Yes,” Ryo said, looking into Akira’s eyes. “We can start over — we can live the life we could have lived on Earth. I won’t make the same mistakes again. I promise you.”  
  
Akira simply looked back him, joyful tears beginning to run again. “Ryo…”  
  
At a loss for words, Akira leaned in suddenly to kiss Ryo tenderly, his hand coming up to cradle Ryo’s head, his touch at the nape of Ryo’s neck making his skin tingle. Ryo returned it, doing his best to mirror the same amount of tenderness, as they both simply, wordlessly, poured their feelings for each other into it.  
  
Akira pulled away just as suddenly. “When?” he gasped.  
  
Ryo found himself out of breath as well. “Huh?”  
  
“When will we go back to Earth?”  
  
“Oh,” Ryo said. “Not for a while. God hasn’t yet remade it, and even then, He’ll let us choose when we’ll go back. We can wait here until then.”  
  
“Oh yeah,” Akira said. “They’re probably still trying to find lost souls, too… like my Dad’s. Maybe Koda’s, too,” he offered with a hopeful smile.  
  
Ryo held his tongue, and didn’t voice his doubts. “Right. That’s entirely possible.”  
  
Akira let out a grin then, and took Ryo’s hand. “Let’s tell everyone, then!”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“That you’re staying!” Akira said, squeezing his hand. “That God forgave you, and you’re not gonna hurt anyone anymore!”  
  
“Ah, right… I suppose so,” Ryo said reluctantly, as Akira tugged him along through the gardens. “Wait, my face…” he added, realizing then that he had taken on his Earthly appearance.  
  
Akira stopped, and smiled warmly at him. “Leave it.”  
  
Ryo met his eyes. “Why?”  
  
“So you can face everyone properly, and apologize to them. Like I have.”  
  
_You don’t have as much to apologize for,_ Ryo thought. Then he remembered something God had said — _You have realized your wrongs, and worked to right them yourself, to begin to earn forgiveness from those you have harmed.  
  
_To _begin_ to earn forgiveness. He wasn’t finished yet. Not by a long shot.  
  
Ryo let out a small sigh. “...Alright. Lead the way, Akira.”  
  
Akira brightened, and continued leading him onward. When Ryo peered ahead, he spotted Miki and Miko some distance away, doing garden work and chatting lightly amongst themselves.  
  
Ryo sighed silently to himself. This was going to be another exhausting day in Heaven, he could tell. And this time he would have to gather and pocket his own manna stash.  
  
But, as Akira’s warm hand held his tight, making his heart flutter pleasantly, he knew, deep down:  
  
He had made the right choice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-reading this made _me_ tear up, and I wrote this damn thing. ;v;
> 
> The comment by the Thrones was a late addition, and I was strongly tempted to put their speech in [zalgo text.](https://www.piliapp.com/cool-text/zalgo-text/) But I decided it would probably be hellish to read in practice (and might not work in ao3 anyway). So, just imagine their speech being... like that.


	10. Heavenly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here's this chapter's title song. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-YwZVekVxE)
> 
> We're here at last, folks. The last chapter of my first finished multi-chapter fic. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tearing up as I write this.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support - your kind comments and kudos have meant the world to me. I honestly love this story so, so much, finally posting the last chapter has me feeling things. ;u;
> 
> Well, without further ado...

Ryo let out a weary sigh, letting himself fall backward onto Akira’s bed.  
  
It had indeed been an exhausting day, as Akira took him along to tell everyone within his social circle that Ryo had been allowed to stay in Heaven, _and_ stop to allow anyone who had recognized Ryo along the way to voice their feelings, and hear an abbreviated explanation and apology from Ryo himself.  
  
When they had spoken to the last people in their lineup — the rapper boys, predictably — Ryo had asked if he and Akira could go back to his house, so that they could talk and he could refuel. Akira accepted without hesitation.  
  
Akira sat down on the bed. “When you say you need to refuel, what do you mean?” he asked curiously, looking back at Ryo.  
  
Ryo groaned lightly, reaching into his pocket. “Angels need to eat,” he said. He pulled out a palmful of manna, which he had retrieved before coming to the house, and showed it to Akira. “Manna is angel food.”  
  
Akira took in the sight of it with wide eyes. “Ohhh. Manna, manna…” he said, as though trying to remember something. “Ah! That’s what the Israelites ate in the desert, right? In the Bible?”  
  
“That’s right,” Ryo replied. “It only grows here, so it can only end up on Earth if God has willed it there. It’s not especially filling, but it provides enough energy to survive. It’s the most basic form of nourishment.” Ryo put some of it in his mouth. “To use an example, angels are a bit like the hummingbirds here,” he said as he chewed. “We also have high metabolisms, so we need to refuel now and then so that we don’t become sluggish and tired.”  
  
“Oh… I guess I _have_ been wearing you out,” Akira said, looking down. “Sorry.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Ryo assured. “Michael kept a supply of it for me, and now I can obtain it freely whenever I need to. It’s available to all the angels.”  
  
“Ohh, okay.” Akira peered at the manna. “Can I try some?”  
  
“Go ahead,” Ryo said, stretching his palm to him. Akira pinched some between his fingers, and dropped it into his mouth. He chewed it thoughtfully.  
  
“...It’s weird, but not bad,” Akira concluded.  
  
“Mm,” Ryo responded, taking another bite of the manna before putting the rest away. “Alright. We should talk.”  
  
Akira swallowed the manna, looking at Ryo before he sprung to his feet. Faster than Ryo could react, Akira flopped onto the bed next to him, peering at him with a smile.  
  
“Can we cuddle while we talk?” he offered.  
  
Ryo tilted his head at him. “Cuddle?”  
  
Akira faltered. “Uh, well, that’s what couples do, right? I guess we’re dating now, kinda…”  
  
“I don’t think what we are can be so easily quantified as _dating,”_ Ryo stated, “but I suppose that word will work, for simplicity’s sake.”  
  
“Yeah,” Akira said, looking away awkwardly, “and like, people who are dating don’t just have sex, they like, cuddle and stuff too… and, I kinda want to do that, too…” His face turned a deep pink.  
  
Ryo couldn’t help but smile. “You’re so innocent, Akira,” he said, unable to stop himself from reaching over to brush stray locks of Akira’s hair from his eyes. Akira blushed even more.  
  
Ryo sighed softly. “Alright. We can _cuddle,_ I suppose. I can’t promise I’ll be very good at it, though.”  
  
Akira looked up at him, smiling again. “That’s alright. I don’t mind,” he said, before scooting over to Ryo’s side, snaking his arm behind Ryo’s neck and resting his hand on Ryo’s shoulder. Ryo eased into the contact.  
  
“Oh, uh, we should be uh… shirtless, right?” Akira said, stumbling over his words.  
  
Logically, Ryo didn’t see the need; but, he had to admit, he _did_ enjoy skin-to-skin contact with Akira. “Alright,” he said, and the next moment both of their shirts were gone.  
  
Akira smiled, and pulled Ryo closer to him, enveloping him in his warmth. Ryo felt his own face warming in response.  
  
“...Where was I,” Ryo said blearily, Akira’s closeness nearly making him lose his train of thought.  
  
Akira laughed, kissing Ryo’s forehead in response. “I dunno. You said that you had more to tell me about what God said and stuff.”  
  
“Right,” Ryo breathed. He refocused, as best as he could. “There are some important details you should know.”  
  
“Okay. What are they?”  
  
Ryo let out a small sigh. “Well… God saw the changes I had made, and how human-like I’ve become, how different I am now than I was back when I was just another angel. And He made me a proposition.”  
  
Akira leaned in. “What was it?”  
  
“I had already asked Him to return me to Earth when it is restored, so he offered me a certain condition to fulfill while I’m on Earth. A task, if you will.”  
  
“Oh?” Akira said, his eyebrows raising in interest.  
  
“It won’t be a simple one.” Ryo looked into Akira’s eyes. “He said I should use my powers and my firsthand understanding of humans to defend humanity. Fight for them like I once fought for demons. Protect them like… I protected you.”  
  
Akira smiled softly. “And you said yes?”  
  
“Surprisingly enough, I did,” Ryo replied. “I was wrong in treating humanity like I did… this is probably the only way I can truly atone.” He looked down. “But, I may have been in an euphoric state then… and now, I’m worried.” He raised his hand, and began to trace lazy circles on Akira’s chest, liking the feeling of his skin against his fingertips.  
  
“About what?”  
  
“The repercussions of this. Millennia ago, I declared myself king of the demons, their champion. They will be looking for me still, expecting me to lead them again in humankind’s destruction in order to overtake the Earth.”  
  
“Yeah, well... so?”  
  
Ryo looked at him again. “I’ve abdicated my throne, such as it were. I’ve betrayed the demons.”  
  
Akira shrugged. “That’s not exactly a surprise.”  
  
Ryo’s eyebrows raised slightly. “Hm?”  
  
“I mean… you betrayed God, then humanity, then me… and now the demons. They shouldn’t be too surprised about it.”  
  
Ryo looked down. He had a point. “I suppose betrayal comes naturally to me.”  
  
“Well… I hope this will be your last one,” Akira said in a small voice.  
  
Ryo looked at him, took his hand in his. Akira looked up at him, their eyes meeting again. Ryo’s were resolute. “Yes. It will be. I promise.” He squeezed his hand.  
  
Akira smiled, satisfied with that. “Well, if the Earth begins anew, maybe there won’t _be_ any more demons,” he offered hopefully.  
  
Ryo sighed, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. “That’s not possible. They may be gone now, but their cells and their will still linger, and will sink into the soil and magma, waiting until the time is right to reemerge. It will likely take thousands, if not millions of years, but they will return. There will _always_ be demons.”  
  
“Well that’s depressing...” Akira said with a sigh. “So we’ll have to fight them again?”  
  
“Probably.”  
  
Akira groaned, laying his head back on the pillow. He was silent for a moment, thinking. Their hands still joined, Ryo rubbed his thumb on the top of Akira’s hand absently.  
  
“But… do we always have to fight?” Akira mused. “Why does it have to be either humans or demons? Can’t we just, coexist? Like, can’t God just… call a truce?”  
  
Ryo smirked. “You say that like it’s possible.”  
  
Akira turned to him. “Well, isn’t it? We sorta coexisted for pretty long before you stirred things up. And… if a demon and a human can coexist in one body, as a devilman, then can’t that be the next stage of evolution?”  
  
“Not sure if God would go for that,” Ryo dismissed in a deadpan tone. “Since humans were made in His image, after all. Can’t go messing that up.”  
  
“Hmm…” Akira looked upward in thought. “But… if what makes a devilman human is their heart… then, what makes a human _human?_ Their appearance, or their heart?”  
  
Ryo looked at him. He realized that he knew that answer. It was what made Akira, _Akira,_ more than anything else. What had shone through even when Amon had turned his bodily form into something monstrous and terrifying. He reached out his free hand, placed it on Akira’s chest, felt the steady, pulsing beat against his fingertips. “...Their heart,” he said softly.  
  
Akira smiled at him. “Glad you agree.” He looked up again. “I’m gonna talk to God about it.”  
  
“Good luck with that,” Ryo said with a mirthful edge, taking his hand back.  
  
“You could come, too,” Akira offered.  
  
“I’m not going to push my luck,” Ryo replied quickly, then eased. “Demons are a sore subject between God and I, trust me. It would be better coming from a human.”  
  
Akira sighed softly. “Sometimes I forget that you’re not one…”  
  
Ryo laughed lightly. “I’m clearly not.” He looked at Akira, let go of his hand, smiling as the rest of his clothes disappeared, and his wings reappeared, unfurling from his head, back, and ankles. Akira gasped, scrambling not to crush the wings that had suddenly surrounded him.  
  
Ryo’s arm wrapped around Akira, pulling him close to his body. “Don’t worry about them. It doesn’t hurt.”  
  
Akira flushed furiously. “Okay, I get it, you’re not human,” he pouted, but didn’t wriggle to get away. “But... you’re human enough for me. How’s that?”  
  
“I can accept that,” Ryo said easily. “Don’t you want to cuddle with this body, too?” he teased, pressing Akira closer to himself, his face landing on one of his breasts. Akira made an indignant noise, his blush intensifying.  
  
“Well? What do you think of them?” Ryo pried shamelessly. “You can touch the other one, too.”  
  
Akira grumbled incomprehensibly, yet raised a hand to cup Ryo’s other breast, giving it a light, experimental squeeze.  
  
“Well?”  
  
He felt Akira’s face get hotter. “...They’re soft. And warm,” Akira admitted with reluctance.  
  
“I told you you would like them.”  
  
Akira grumbled again, but didn’t contradict him. He lifted his head. “Can I… touch one of your wings?”  
  
Ryo wrapped one of them around Akira. “Certainly.”  
  
Akira paused to examine the wing up-close, then he reached out his hand, touching, then stroking the feathers ever so gently. “Wow,” he said, in an awed voice. “These are soft too… just like a bird’s.”  
  
“Mm,” Ryo replied, trying to keep his eyes from falling shut. Never before had he had his wings touched like this. He unconsciously let out a soft moan.  
  
Akira looked back at him. “Does that feel good?”  
  
Ryo blushed this time. “They’re sensitive. No one’s… ever touched them like that before.”  
  
Akira smiled. “I’ll have to keep that in mind, then.”  
  
Ryo’s eyebrows raised in response, as Akira turned back to the wing, hesitated, then leaned down to kiss it, the sensation sending a shiver through Ryo’s body.  
  
“...We’ve gotten off-topic,” Ryo said, trying his best to refocus.  
  
“And whose fault is that?” Akira said, looking back at him with a sly smirk. He continued to pet Ryo’s wing, as though calling him on his bluff.  
  
Ryo clenched his teeth, holding down his reactions. It felt _too_ good.  
  
“...Alright,” Ryo said, suddenly changing back to his human form, if only to make the sensations stop. He had to keep a level head right now. There would be time for _that_ … later.  
  
“Aw,” Akira said in a slightly disappointed tone. “Too much?”  
  
“For right now… yes,” Ryo replied, his face pinkening again.  
  
“O-kay,” Akira replied.  
  
“Anyway,” Ryo said, wanting to get back on-topic. “Humans and demons trying to coexist… that could become a dangerous situation.”  
  
“Worse than the Apocalypse?”  
  
“...Fair point.”  
  
“And… you wouldn’t want to kill all the demons, would you?” Akira followed up. “That’s probably what God would want… but, you still like them, don’t you.”  
  
Ryo hesitated, fidgeting slightly. “...They were why I Fell. Though I no longer believe that they’re superior to humans… I still believe they have a right to exist on Earth.”  
  
“Well, what if we could find a way for both humans and demons to live in peace? Then we could share the Earth together. It’s big enough for the both of us, right?”  
  
“Demons would still want to kill humans, Akira.”  
  
Akira’s expression faltered. “Well… I guess we’d still have to kill _some_ demons, who are hurting humans, like in self-defense. Let them know they can’t do that anymore.”  
  
“Hmm,” Ryo pondered. “Mutually assured destruction…”  
  
Akira tilted his head at him. “Huh?”  
  
Ryo looked at him, his voice slipping easily into an academic tone. “It’s the principle under which nations that possess nuclear weapons operate. Nuclear weapons have power not only in their material capabilities, but psychologically, as well. If two nations that possess nuclear weapons come into conflict, their leaders tend not to let it escalate to a certain degree, because the possibility of one nation using a nuclear weapon on the other is ever-present at the back of their minds. They could annihilate one another in seconds, if they chose to. That principle is referred to as ‘mutually assured destruction’. It often leads to stalemates and, if they can come to an agreement, peace talks between nations.”  
  
“So…” Akira said, processing. “You’re saying we could try something like that between humans and demons.”  
  
“Basically, yes.”  
  
“Sounds scary…” Akira mused with hesitance, looking up at the ceiling. “I hope it doesn’t come to that.”  
  
Ryo looked at him. “...Do you believe humans can achieve that kind of peace?”  
  
Akira looked back at him, and smiled. “I do. Do you think demons can?”  
  
Ryo looked up, thinking. “...Demons care about survival, above all else. If forced into a choice between death and peace, they would likely choose to survive. Though their pride would take a hit.”  
  
“Ryo,” Akira said, grabbing Ryo’s hand. Ryo looked back down at him, meeting his eyes.  
  
“Let’s find a way to make peace between humans and demons,” Akira said, his eyes sparkling. “So that what happened to Earth, what happened to us… won’t happen again. Are you with me?”  
  
Ryo smiled. “Sounds like a plan.”  
  
Akira grinned. “Yeah!” He let go of Ryo’s hand, folded his hands behind his head as he looked out the window above his bed. “Maybe it won’t work, but, we have to try. I know God said you should protect humans, but I think He’d be in favor of peace, too. He doesn’t want all this fighting either, if it can be avoided.”  
  
While Akira talked, Ryo’s gaze wandered over Akira’s bedroom. So ordinary. So normal. And yet… it felt peaceful.  
  
“Akira.”  
  
Akira looked over. “Hm?”  
  
Ryo kept his gaze locked on the ceiling. “Do you really want to live another lifetime with me? I never asked you.”  
  
Akira frowned. “What do you mean?”  
  
“...Don’t you want a normal life?” Ryo asked, his tone low and flat. “This house… it’s an manifestation of your basic, inner desires, isn’t it? And it’s almost stereotypically normal. You could have decorated it any way you wanted, and yet, it looks like… like what a family home would look like.”  
  
Akira looked away, seeming a little embarrassed. “Well… I was kinda hoping that when my dad comes back, we could all live together here…”  
  
“That’s just it,” Ryo said. “You have always wanted a normal life with your family. You didn’t have that on Earth… partly because of me.” He felt a pang in his chest. “Even if we take this new path, I can’t guarantee you a normal life. Your life can never be normal… as long as I’m in it.” _Damn, this ache. I’m just speaking the truth. Why does it hurt so much?_ “Do you… do you really want that, Akira?”  
  
His voice had become unbearably delicate at the end, and the silence that followed didn’t help matters. He gasped, as he felt fingertips just below his eyes, wiping tears that he didn’t know had fallen. He looked over to Akira again.  
  
Akira smiled crookedly. “What even _is_ normal, anyway? I mean, you’re right about all that, but… to me, you’re worth it, Ryo. You’re my best friend. I’d never want to abandon you. And, maybe we can have a normal enough life together? _Too_ normal would get boring after a while, ya know?”  
  
Ryo made a small laugh, turning sober a moment after. “The demons would still hunt me. They would probably want my blood.”  
  
“We’ll take that as it comes. Don’t forget, I can be pretty tough, too,” Akira grinned, showing off a canine. “I want this, Ryo. Don’t worry about me. I’m with you. And…” his face reddened as his voice lowered, “...I love you, too.”  
  
Ryo turned to him, and Akira’s hand came up to cradle his head as he leaned in to give him a chaste kiss.  
  
“It’s okay, really,” Akira said after he pulled back. “I’m glad you made this choice for us. But… I’m glad you thought to ask me this, too.”  
  
Ryo let out a fond sigh, his hand coming up to stroke Akira’s face. “How are you so perfect?”  
  
“I dunno. God made me this way, I guess,” Akira grinned.  
  
_You really outdid Yourself, God,_ Ryo thought sardonically, as his heart fluttered.  
  
“Hmm.”  
  
“What?” Akira said.  
  
“Akira, do you remember anything from before you were Akira?”  
  
Akira tilted his head. “Huh?”  
  
“To be brief: Reincarnation is real, and you regain memories of your past lives when you return to Heaven. Michael told me that you volunteered to use your life to bring me around, to show me love. Do you remember anything about that?”  
  
Akira blinked in surprise, before looking up in thought. “Hmm…”  
  
Ryo gave him time to wrack his brain — he surmised that human memories from past incarnations didn’t come back in an overwhelming rush, like his own memories had, but had to be unearthed first, possibly buried deep in their subconscious.  
  
“Ah, I do remember something about that,” Akira said at last. Ryo perked up.  
  
“I remember… that God had a hard time deciding who should be the human who would be with you, because you were the only one He couldn’t predict. You were outside of His vision, or something. I volunteered, but He warned me that I wouldn’t be able to fully plan out my own life path… or even know beforehand how long I’d get to live. Because you were an unpredictable element, I would have to leave most of my life up to chance. I was able to pick a few things, though. Like, I love running, so I put track in there. And, I wanted God in my life somehow, so I wouldn’t lose my way, and that’s where the Makimuras came in,” he smiled, seeming delighted by these revelations.  
  
“Why did you accept?” Ryo asked. He had to know.  
  
“Oh,” Akira said. “Well… when God told me about you, about how you two fought, how you fell from Heaven, and where you were… I felt sad for you. All alone, with no one like you, in the darkness, away from God’s love… it must’ve been so lonely.” Tears welled in Akira’s eyes now, at the thought of it. “I wanted to take that loneliness away, and bring you back to the light… if that makes any sense.”  
  
“...You loved me all the way back then. Before you even knew me.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess I did,” Akira laughed. “I felt so _drawn_ to you when I first found you, I couldn’t really explain it… but I guess that’s what it was. All I remember is that I knew you felt scared… and lonely.”  
  
_Loneliness…_ Ryo hadn’t thought of it like that back then. Perhaps because he couldn’t give the feeling a name, for he had never needed to before his fall. Angels were not lonely. But he was. Especially then — away from God, away from everyone he had ever known, angel, human, or demon. At that point, Ryo was truly alone.  
  
He had had a feeling he couldn’t name then, as well. And Akira had seen it. Seen into his heart, and pulled him close to his own, without a second thought.  
  
From the beginning, Akira had filled a void in him that Ryo didn’t realize he had, until it, and he, became as much a part of him as his arms and legs.  
  
Ryo looked at him for a long moment, before looking down, letting out a low laugh to himself. “I really didn’t stand a chance.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
Ryo shook his head. “It’s nothing. Just,” he held Akira’s head, threading his fingers through his hair, “if I had to lose, I’m glad it was to you.”  
  
Akira laughed, closing his eyes and grinning wide.  
  
Ryo leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his lips. He pulled back, a mirthful smile on his own lips. “Aren’t you surprised that I’ve chosen to defend humans?”  
  
Akira smiled back. “Nah. I knew you had it in you, somewhere. Since we were kids, I always believed there was good in you, deep down. I stopped believing it, after you betrayed humans…” his expression became distant for a moment. “But, when I saw you here, I started to believe it again,” he finished, his smile returning.  
  
Ryo suddenly remembered how purely _happy_ Akira had looked back when they had left Nagasaki’s mother’s house after he had paid her for the damages from their search. And how _broken_ Akira had looked upon finding out that Ryo had placed a bomb there. _How cruel,_ he thought at himself.  
  
But despite that… Akira had still believed in him. Believed in him until he could no longer.  
  
And yet, even then, even after everything Ryo had put him through, Akira had still left room in his heart for him to return to.  
  
Ryo let out a small sigh, and slid closer to Akira, wrapping his arms around him, perching his chin atop the other’s shoulder. “You’re too good to me, Akira,” he said softly.  
  
Akira returned his embrace without hesitating, pulling him in until they were as close to each other as physically possible.  
  
They remained that way for a while — neither of them could say how long, simply savoring one another’s presence and warmth.  
  
Ryo pulled away at last, wanting to see Akira’s face again. “So, I guess I’ll be following you around to amusement parks until the Earth comes back,” he said with a slanted smile.  
  
Akira laughed. “C’mon, that’s not all there is to do in Heaven,” he said, getting a little flustered — which had been Ryo’s intention. “There’s concerts, parties, all kinds of sports, not the violent ones though-”  
  
“Anything _I_ would be interested in?”  
  
“Hmm…” Akira thought with a soft frown. “Oh! You could be a professor again!” he beamed. “They’ve got schools here too! You could teach humans what only you know about demons, and prepare them, so that maybe we can come together and figure out something, so we can all live on Earth in peace!”  
  
Akira’s enthusiasm was infectious. Ryo smiled. “I _do_ like the sound of that.”  
  
“ _Professor Ryo Asuka,”_ Akira grinned, touching his nose to Ryo’s.  
  
“Would you attend my class?”  
  
“Of course,” Akira replied. “...Would there be tests?”  
  
“Probably.”  
  
“Uh oh, guess I’d better study,” Akira said, burying his face into the nape of Ryo’s neck and nuzzling it.  
  
Ryo let out a tiny laugh at how it tickled. “For you, tutoring sessions would be free.”  
  
“That’s good,” Akira said, placing a kiss on Ryo’s neck before pulling away, sending a pleasant shiver through Ryo’s body. “I get the feeling I’m gonna need some _long_ study sessions,” he smirked, winking once for good measure.  
  
Ryo smirked back. “I’m not sure how Heaven feels about student-teacher relationships.”  
  
“Does it count if the student and teacher were _already_ in a relationship?” Akira countered.  
  
“Good point.”  
  
He leaned forward, Akira’s lips meeting his in the middle, as they kissed once again.  
  
They parted, and Akira raised his hand to touch Ryo’s cheek, smiling fondly. “I’m glad you came here, Ryo,” he whispered.  
  
Ryo’s heart took flight. He tried to keep his cool. “What brought that on?”  
  
“I dunno, just… I thought I’d never see you again. I was mad at you and all that, but… I missed you, too. I missed what we used to have. I never thought we’d get a second chance. But here you are,” he smiled, his eyes shining.  
  
Ryo lifted his hand to Akira’s face, stroked his chin and lips with his thumb. He thought of everything he had been through, the trials he had faced, to reach this moment. His voice came out in a whisper as well, smiling as his eyes welled up. “...I’m glad I came back, too.”  
  
He felt a tear trickle down his cheek. The next moment, Akira moved to kiss it away.  
  
Akira smiled, though tears were threatening to fall from his own eyes. “Let’s not cry anymore, alright?”  
  
Ryo took in the sight of him, of his beautiful tears, which he doubted would be the last he would ever see. But that was alright — he loved them, too. Akira was a crybaby, and Ryo wouldn’t have it any other way.  
  
“Alright,” he replied, pulling Akira into a tight hug.  
  
He didn’t know what the repercussions of his choice would be, what he and Akira would face once they returned to live on Earth again. If their plan would even have a chance of working.  
  
But for now, an indefinite amount of time ahead of them to spend with the ones they love in the paradise of Heaven, awaiting the recreation of Earth…  
  
...their future was bright.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Ending song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rIjsa85UVk)
> 
> /trying not to cry
> 
> Okay, some notes:
> 
> \- Believe it or not, I came up with the nuclear war comparison BEFORE reading the OG Devilman manga. I wrote this entire fic well before I read the manga myself actually. (You can imagine my reaction to reading that one chapter for the first time, lol) (that guy's flippant discussion of war still creeps me out a little ngl)  
> \- I'm considering writing a followup fic to this (one chapter this time, lol), depending on feedback/my own motivation. After I finished this, I thought any followup I'd write would be of them on Earth, but thinking on it now, I left a few loose threads in Heaven here, didn't I...?  
> \- I want to give special thanks to [coolangelsthesis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolangelsthesis/pseuds/coolangelsthesis), for beta-reading and for being so awesomely supportive <3 (And for sharing so many great tunes with me!) (btw if you happen to like Watch Dogs 2, go read her new fics!!)  
> \- If you'd like a playlist of all the songs that were part of this fic, [here you go!](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJqCixdYf4oVNkWsBU-oRChpyekNShJ93)  
> \- And, finally, thank you, thank you, thank you all so much for giving this fic a chance, keeping up with it, and showing your support. This fic has been a passion project from the very beginning, and though it hit a few speed bumps along the way to posting, I don't regret a thing. I love this story so much, and writing it was therapeutic in many ways, for my post-Crybaby state and personally as well. This is honestly my most personal, most "me" fic that I've posted yet, so the positive feedback I've gotten has meant a lot to me ;v; 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments, feel free to follow me on [my twitter](https://twitter.com/DramaticalHeart), or subscribe to me here on ao3 to keep up with my fics!! I still love Devilman very much, and it's likely that I'll write more for it after this!  
> Thanks again!! <333


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